Last Saturday A asked my husband how has marriage been and he responded emphatically it has been very tough. We all dissolved into laughter.
The lived reality of marriage does pose challenges for two separate entities coming together as one requires change. It can be tough, but that is not a bad thing altogether for I find it life-giving to know that someone loves me enough to want to work things through until blue skies appear again, and they will. For the best is yet to be.
When it storms, I know that the storm will eventually pass. I just have to ride out the battering winds and the fierce rains. When I am feeling most insecure and lost, ready to give up, here is where I must walk by faith, and not what I see through my myopic and distorted vision.
Father Anthony talked about what it means to walk by faith last Saturday. It requires a commitment to cut through the superficial, a lip service type of faith, and to truly act in love, driven by one's principles, not one's perceptions, which may be skewed and inaccurate.
It also requires openness, to go where the Lord leads even if it does not make immediate sense. What's more, there will always be valleys of darkness and tears to walk through, but we have to believe that 'the sun will come out tomorrow'. We have to trust in the impossible, and envision what others cannot see. The ability to trust supernaturally, with divine simplicity, helps us to cultivate the virtue of hope.
Thus when P and I bump heads, we both know that it's all part of the process, and all it requires is constant fine-tuning, without giving in to despair or pessimism. We should both trust that we both want the best for each other even when it may not seem that way frequently. And we must lean on God to help us see each other as He sees us, to gaze at each other with the clear, compassionate gaze of Jesus, seeing beyond our human limitations.
Knowing this, I am able to let go of any hurt or angst I feel that comes from the place of darkness within me, the place of inadequacy, unworthiness and crippling self-doubt. We can thus build our marriage from weakness to strength, brick by brick.
During sunset mass, Father Romeo used a story to illustrate how forgiveness should work - writing the bad in sand for impermanence, and the good in stone for posterity. I liked the tale and will adopt it in all my relationships, especially my marriage.
My best friend slapped me today.
I gasped in shock at the stinging pain
The brutality of his action.
Why did he slap me?
What did I do to deserve such unkindness,
Such sudden and murderous violence?
I mourn; weeping bitter tears
Inconsolable and utterly broken.
Things can never be the same.
I write this down in the sand
Willing the Father to blow healing
Grains of forgiveness across the desert
Soothing away the indentations I made
Until true understanding erases
Every vestige of pain from my heart.
We tango to the rhythm of His heartbeat.
In love. He makes all things new.
The future can only be better.
My best friend saved me today.
He pulled me out from the churning waters
Where I floundered, helpless and half dead,
Lungs on fire from futile efforts to stay alive.
Grab hold of my hand, stop struggling.
Trust me! I won't let you drown.
I am ever grateful, writing this on stone
Telling of his courage, his quiet heroism
Disregard for his personal safety
To lift me out of harm's way.
Now others can read and applaud,
From one generation to the next,
And be inspired by his everyday spirit
To glorify the One who first saved us,
Who walked in perfect harmony with the Father.
As long as I live I want to remember
The act of valour without which I would not be here.
My best friend is my best man, much like Jesus.
The lived reality of marriage does pose challenges for two separate entities coming together as one requires change. It can be tough, but that is not a bad thing altogether for I find it life-giving to know that someone loves me enough to want to work things through until blue skies appear again, and they will. For the best is yet to be.
When it storms, I know that the storm will eventually pass. I just have to ride out the battering winds and the fierce rains. When I am feeling most insecure and lost, ready to give up, here is where I must walk by faith, and not what I see through my myopic and distorted vision.
Father Anthony talked about what it means to walk by faith last Saturday. It requires a commitment to cut through the superficial, a lip service type of faith, and to truly act in love, driven by one's principles, not one's perceptions, which may be skewed and inaccurate.
It also requires openness, to go where the Lord leads even if it does not make immediate sense. What's more, there will always be valleys of darkness and tears to walk through, but we have to believe that 'the sun will come out tomorrow'. We have to trust in the impossible, and envision what others cannot see. The ability to trust supernaturally, with divine simplicity, helps us to cultivate the virtue of hope.
Thus when P and I bump heads, we both know that it's all part of the process, and all it requires is constant fine-tuning, without giving in to despair or pessimism. We should both trust that we both want the best for each other even when it may not seem that way frequently. And we must lean on God to help us see each other as He sees us, to gaze at each other with the clear, compassionate gaze of Jesus, seeing beyond our human limitations.
Knowing this, I am able to let go of any hurt or angst I feel that comes from the place of darkness within me, the place of inadequacy, unworthiness and crippling self-doubt. We can thus build our marriage from weakness to strength, brick by brick.
During sunset mass, Father Romeo used a story to illustrate how forgiveness should work - writing the bad in sand for impermanence, and the good in stone for posterity. I liked the tale and will adopt it in all my relationships, especially my marriage.
My best friend slapped me today.
I gasped in shock at the stinging pain
The brutality of his action.
Why did he slap me?
What did I do to deserve such unkindness,
Such sudden and murderous violence?
I mourn; weeping bitter tears
Inconsolable and utterly broken.
Things can never be the same.
I write this down in the sand
Willing the Father to blow healing
Grains of forgiveness across the desert
Soothing away the indentations I made
Until true understanding erases
Every vestige of pain from my heart.
We tango to the rhythm of His heartbeat.
In love. He makes all things new.
The future can only be better.
My best friend saved me today.
He pulled me out from the churning waters
Where I floundered, helpless and half dead,
Lungs on fire from futile efforts to stay alive.
Grab hold of my hand, stop struggling.
Trust me! I won't let you drown.
I am ever grateful, writing this on stone
Telling of his courage, his quiet heroism
Disregard for his personal safety
To lift me out of harm's way.
Now others can read and applaud,
From one generation to the next,
And be inspired by his everyday spirit
To glorify the One who first saved us,
Who walked in perfect harmony with the Father.
As long as I live I want to remember
The act of valour without which I would not be here.
My best friend is my best man, much like Jesus.
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