Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Community

E who is hugely independent was sharing how loneliness can be a hard pill to swallow; like how she recently found dining alone in a  restaurant awkward and dreary. I can empathize for I agree that dining should be a social event where both the body and soul are fed.

My response to E's woes was community for she had identified that relationships were integral to a fulfilled life and a frequent anodyne to loneliness. It is not enough that we have friends but we all need a community (or two) to help anchor us and see us through the thick and thin of life.

Friendships are formed when people find common ground, similar tastes or interests that bind them in relationships. However, friendships can be loosely or tightly bound, depending on the dispositions of the parties involved and can dissolve quite easily. There is no formal commitment, only an understanding that is left to the emotional whims of individuals and the vagaries of circumstance.

Spiritual communities, however, are a little like families. There is implicit (and explicit, in the case of covenanted communities) commitment and each member has a responsibility to love and care for the rest of the community, contributing life.

Jean Vanier in Becoming Human defines communion (so necessary in community), as mutual trust and mutual belonging, as mutual vulnerability and openness one to the other. He goes on to describe the experience of communion as liberation for both, as both parties are "allowed to be themselves, where both are called to grow in greater freedom and openness to others and to the universe".

Mutual acceptance is what binds a community and when the group's common denominator is their love for Christ, this desire to glorify Him will (hopefully) subsume individual differences and be a unifying force that drives and grows a community. Along the way, real friendships are formed among members of the community.

While it would be naive to expect every member of a community or family to get on like a house on fire, we can choose to love unconditionally as Christ loves us. To consider each other as a child of Christ and accord the necessary respect and courtesies: to be patient, kind and loving with one another, and to forgive when forgiveness is called for.

The community that has sustained and helped me grow most these last eight years is the Woman to Woman Ministry. We are women from all walks and states of life who come together weekly to grow in our knowledge of self and Christ so as to be empowered and to live in freedom; and in turn, we can then empower others, building a civilization of love whatever we do, wherever we are.

Every week, I look forward to seeing my sisters, to celebrate our mutual love and joy for Jesus. I am always awed by their testimonies of how much God loves each one of us in different ways. Their collective goodness feeds me spiritually and I am given the necessary encouragement to keep Jesus by my side the next seven days until we next meet.

I am also less alone in the world knowing that I matter to people, good people who love me and bless me every day through prayer. And should I need spiritual support, it is there in abundance.

Another community that is close to my heart is the ICPE Philippines' community whom I encouraged E to visit for here is a lay community that has got it right. Placing Christ at the centre of everything they do, they are able to be powerful hands and feet of Christ in reaching out to the disadvantaged and marginalized in Tagaytay and Montalban.

Peter Kreeft describes joy, which we all seek in the depths of our heart, as more than happiness for it is not merely found in the body as pleasure is, nor is it merely found in the mind and feelings as happiness is, but joy is deep in the heart, the spirit, the centre of the self and the way to it is sanctity, loving God with your whole heart and your neighbour as yourself.

Whenever I visit the ICPE Philippines community, I am struck by how tangible God's love is and how palpable a presence the Holy Spirit has. Most of all, I am struck by the joy each one of these missionaries expresses not just when they are ministering to others but also in the way they live together as community. I am always inspired to be a better person when I am able to live in community with them.

Of course one can still experience loneliness within community, within family and even within marriage, for loneliness is a condition that escapes no human on earth. As Jean Vanier puts it, "Loneliness is part of being human, because there is nothing in existence that can completely fulfil the needs of the human heart."

Expect to feel lonely in life, but also expect that it can be a force for good for loneliness, as Vanier finds, "can become a source for creative energy, the energy that drives us down new paths to create new things or to seek more truth and justice in the world."

E, aside from all the great things you are doing to bless others with your gifts, I hope you find a new path that is lit with the joys of communion, with Christ and with others. In community.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Finding God

In last Sunday's homily, Father Arro reminded us not to be impatient, like the disciples who followed Jesus were initially. Impatience is practically endemic among urbanites for we are used to a fast pace of life that settles only for instant answers at a push of a button.

It was uncanny for I was just thinking about my own impatience the previous evening. Patience has never been my strong suit and it is to my regret that I have missed opportunities of grace due to my manic, task-oriented ways.

Because of impatience I have been rudely brusque, grouchy, stressed out, ungracious and inconsiderate. I morph into a robot focused on getting something done with disregard for others' feelings.

What's more, I am constantly on edge, unable to fully enjoy the present with the clock ticking inside my brain urging me on to the next destination on my list. I mark time instead of making time. There is scant opportunity to breathe and get lost in a moment of sublime grace.

As Father Arro pointed out, humans take time to grow physically, emotionally and spiritually. Life is a process, a journey, not a destination or a means to an end. Even Jesus took 30 years of preparation time before He began His ministry. We should, likewise, respect the process, our own personal life journey.

Although I know the key to working on my impatience and other personal shortcomings is to allow the Father to be my constant companion through every season, every day of my life, it is so easy to get caught up in the hamster wheel of life and jettison the painstaking cultivation of a God-centred disposition. Along with that goes the ability to wait patiently on God's time and I begin to go my own way, relying on my own will.

Whenever I choose to chuck God aside and dine on fast food of instant gratification and self-centred desires, life soon loses its flavour, it becomes meaningless, and sloth takes over inside of me. I lose the ability to find God in all things.

To find God in all things is at the core of Ignatian spirituality. Such sensitivity and exquisite awareness requires a mind and heart set on rhythms that operate on a different plane. Mindfulness - it's a much touted therapy today, but for many Christians, it is a way of life that helps us attain holiness.

Saint Ignatius knew that and his consciousness examen* helps yield an interior life that is resoundingly rich and independent of what happens in real life. The examen is a way for us to relive the day looking at it through God's eyes and to base our decisions on that inspired reality, free of our own prejudices, fears and weaknesses.

As Margaret Silf writes in Landmarks, transformation requires a radial journey inside to discover the truth or godseed. This radical change can only come with patience and constantly making time for the examen, for God, throughout the day. This is the heart of discernment. To know exactly what He wills.

It is only when I continually seek for God in my life that I am able to quell the impatience and let time unfurl as it will, enabling blossoms of grace to add fragrance and colour to my days.

When you find you are just racing through the day to get things done, do try and take a moment to stop, breathe, smile and say, "Thank you, Lord, I see you, Lord." In that moment, whatever you are doing will pale in significance to the moment that you meet Jesus face to face. In that moment, time will stand still.

Make time and you will find truth and life through God.


Saturday, June 09, 2012

Faith story

We are doing Margaret Silf's Landmarks this year and the book is like an old friend we are re-visiting. In one of the initial exercises we are encouraged to examine our river of life or our own faith story. To trace our inner journey through the outer events of our life and to be able to see how God touches our life, through people and events.

The ability to shed hope on the circumstances of our life, both good and bad, is possible when we allow the light of God's love to touch our heart. For it is only when we open our heart and trust in His love that we are able to transcend all the evil in our life and make the transformative leap into forging a future filled with inner peace and joy.

This is my faith story.














I
When you sat in silent empathy as I shared
My broken dreams and shameful past
I was fearful my sins were too many
and too sordid to be forgiven
I could not forgive myself mainly
For my monumental stupidity
That was repeated endlessly
But you did not judge.
Emanating instead waves of healing love
Enfolding me in a chrysalis of womb-like warmth.
As I saw that first chink of light breaking through
My self-imposed tomb, I was floored
By the miracle of the metamorphosis I was undergoing.
I now have wings, I can fly!
All because you placed your undying faith in me.

II
I am deeply thankful for all
That has ever happened in my life
Every loss, every suffering,
every indignity, every abuse,
For gratitude allows me to advance beyond
My instinct to remain stuck in anger and despair,
Chained to the bitter past, a cripple for life.
Gratitude keeps me humble, 
Makes me glad to be alive
To exact the best revenge of forgiveness
Absolution of those who have sinned against me
And even caused me to sin unknowingly.
Lately, happiness has been my reward,
As I regain the original innocence of my youth
The joyous wonder of my sacramental self.

III
There were eleven teams of oxen ahead
Ploughing straight for True North
I pause, out of fear, for I am not sure
If I have the gumption to go where they are.
Each furrow is formed in buckets of sweat and tears
Plus a heart filled with ultra steadfast courage.
To be a prophet one has to have
A hide thick enough to withstand
All forms of calumny and persecution fierce.
If they can do it, against daunting odds, perhaps I can, too.
As I stand on the shoulders of giants,
The communion of saints, dead and alive,
People who staked their lives on a Triune rock foundation,
I will glorify the One who was, is now and ever shall be
Eleven teams of oxen plod sturdily on
Beacons of hope and inspiration
Bringing love and renewing the faith of the world
Let me go where they go, journey in their footsteps,
Shod in the gospel of peace and truth.

Sunday, June 03, 2012

Just because...

Last evening I went for a walk with M in MacRitchie Reservoir Park before we were joined by J, N and A and went for dinner. We ended up altering dinner plans spontaneously and had a great time chilling and hanging out together.

When I said I would get dinner A asked, "What's the occasion?", I replied, "Nothing," but on hindsight I should have said just because... I felt like celebrating life and love, or perhaps it was the sight of the iridescent cloud or partial rainbow M and I both caught on our walk. It was an awesome sight!

A echoed B's words last Tuesday when I bought B a bunch of cream and blush pink gerberas. In fact, B searched around hard for an occasion to suit the gift. Hmmm...

Is there an occasion? Actually there is: life and love, or in a word, God. I so much enjoyed the spontaneous gifts that God sent me in Amsterdam that I want those around me to experience the pleasure of unexpected gifts as I did.

Increasingly I feel the transience of life as I get older and I grasp the import of almost every moment in my waking hours. This acute mindfulness, enhanced by my vacation in Amsterdam where time expanded to be filled with so much is something I wish to keep and so I endeavour to impregnate each conscious moment with meaning. To make every second count.

Last Friday A shared that she was again at a peak point in her life, a period of happiness and contentment that she never thought would be repeated in her life. Like her, I feel I am in that zone right now.

It's not that we are both on permanent vacation "shaking legs"*, nor are we impervious to insecurity, pain, dark moments or rude people, but I think we both have a sense of purpose in what we do and we try to be creative and faithful in accomplishing our mission every day.

A large part of that mission is to make the world a better place. It sounds vague but it isn't, especially if we open our hearts and minds to the opportunities that each day brings. Wherever we are on our own personal journeys in life, we each have the power to change lives and make a difference.

The ability to know what we have to do and to have the power to achieve it comes first and foremost from our relationship with Jesus. Living in His Spirit, the paraclete (Greek for comforter, advocate, helper and teacher); and following in His footsteps.

This evening Father Romeo quoted Meister Eckhart on the Holy Trinity seeing as it is Trinity Sunday, and I thought it was a vivid and beautiful  way of describing the relationship:

Do you want to know what goes on in the heart of the Trinity?
I will tell you.
In the heart of the Trinity the Father laughs and gives birth to the Son.
The Son laughs back at the Father and gives birth to the Spirit
The whole Trinity laughs and gives birth to us.


When God laughs at the soul and the soul laughs back at God, the persons of the Trinity are begotten.
When the Father laughs at the Son and the Son laughs back at the Father, that laughter gives pleasure,
that pleasure gives joy, that joy gives love, and that is the Holy Spirit.



This explains the joie de vivre I feel so aptly and it impels me to do as Mother Teresa did her whole life, which is to do small things with great love.

Be it buying dinner, or flowers, or doing what I need to do now, housecleaning, a not-so-favourite but necessary task, I do it for the pleasure of seeing someone I love smile.

Try it. Do something nice for someone today and if they ask why, tell them just because...

* Singlish for idling