The miracle of new life

Nuzzling quietly in loving arms

Not long after J was born, when I gazed upon his face - the little button of a nose, the delicate curved lines of closed eyes, spiked with prickles of eyelashes, the determined chin so reminiscent of P's adult chin, and those exquisitely shaped tiny ears - I was overcome by the miracle of his little being.

Every baby is a living miracle, proof of all that's good and holy in the world. It's no wonder that all the adults around him go goo goo ga ga and we all dance to his rhythms, syncopated by his cries of hunger, poopy discomfort and cranky exhaustion. We stand and look in loving awe at his sleeping form, marvelling at how his little chest rises and falls with each breath he takes. We inhale his impossibly sweet baby scent and caress his tender soft skin with wonder.

It has been over a month since his arrival and his personality has emerged even at this tender age, while his cuteness quotient rises exponentially over time. Currently he responds to conversation with coos, gurgles and smiles.

This precious baby will one day grow up to be a man, a good man, I hope, one close to God's heart and who walks in His ways (I can only pray). It is with the greatest pleasure that I will witness his development through the years.

It dismays and saddens me that abortion has become acceptable, even legalized (dear Ireland, what were you thinking) which means new generations of women will grow up thinking of abortion as a right, an entitlement, instead of what it really is, murder, pure and simple.

We live in a culture of death where the rights of defenceless children (every foetus carried to full term is a child who will grow up into an adult) are superseded by the desires of their parents.

Certainly I agree each woman or man should have their sense of dignity respected, and we should each defend our personal freedom and space. However, every pregnant woman automatically becomes a guardian, an advocate for the one who has no voice (yet), and who relies on her to bring him or her to the next threshold of life at childbirth. Unseen and unheard does not equal to a relinquishment of human rights.

In a perfect world, there is no violence, there is no rape. Lust does not muddy the waters and we understand that love means wanting the better of the other. Hence there is a right understanding of procreation and how it is so deeply connected to marriage, a lifetime commitment.

Despite the fact that people fixate only on the physical pleasure sexual intercourse can bring, sexual intercourse has an intrinsic sanctity and mystery. It is, first and foremost, an act of love, unitive in nature, sometimes procreative. It is an act that is designed to bring us closer to God, strange as it may seem. Much as the world engages in it to satisfy lustful appetites solely, sex goes beyond just sex, and pregnancies go beyond unwanted and mourned over accidents.

Every pregnancy is inherently a celebration of life, the heralding of new life. Every foetus is a child who relies on his or her mother to care for him or her in the womb till he or she is ready to go it alone (albeit still requiring much love and care as babies cannot look after themselves).

We can rationalize away all we want but abortion is never a viable option and this includes the use of any form of contraception which are all abortifacient in nature. If we say we believe in Jesus Christ, then we must act accordingly, and that means to walk through the narrow gate and eschew abortion and all contraceptives apart from Natural Family Planning. Promote and celebrate life in all its stages, especially life in the foetal stage. 

Minding your Ps and Is

During a lunch with I some time back, we discovered that what she learned in Christian faith formation was not unlike my own experience with my community, Institute for World Evangelisation ICPE Mission.

She had learned a great way to remember it: Identity, Intimacy and Inheritance.

Identity. If we know who we are and where we come from, then we will most probably know where we want to go. I know I am a beloved child of God and I am a wonderful creation, an awesome woman who can undertake the impossible, much like Mother Mary.

Even if the way forward is as clear as mud, I am still able to trust in the goodness of God's plan and let Jesus lead me step by step down obscure byways and unknown highways. Even though I may feel completely lost at times, there is also a sense of freedom when I let Him guide me, especially in those moments.

Self-knowledge and self-awareness also help me. Because I know my weaknesses, I can avoid temptation and my very own personality pitfalls. I can play to my strengths more powerfully. I struggle less with self-hate and my own perceived failures with the humbling self-acceptance that comes from knowing myself and acknowledging my limitations.

Intimacy. If I were to wake up to a world that does not recognise the existence of God, I could not and would not concur. I was the hated, wounded woman at the well whom Jesus spoke to and in that encounter, I received not only His precious validation and affirmation, but an invitation to a new way of life. I accepted and our relationship has grown through the years into the most significant and vital one in my life. It is in Him that my restless heart can rest, that my deepest hurts are erased, and my joy knows no bounds.

In embracing the Christian life as prescribed by the Bible, Tradition and the Magisterium of the Roman Catholic Church, I have come to know, love and serve God which brings incredible meaning to my life. Jesus is my all in all for He spurs me on to greater goodness, to deeper purpose, and walking side by side with the Risen Lord, I am spiritually and emotionally fulfilled. The Holy Spirit, my Advocate, is my closest companion and I cannot envision life without Him, or His love and gentle wisdom.

Sure, intimacy with someone who is not tangible may prove challenging, but seek and you will find. Seek Him by being faithful, prayerful, obedient and amiable. That doesn't mean you don't wrestle with Him at times, or question Him. It's important to dialogue with Jesus even as you follow in His footsteps closely, serving others, anointed only with the oil of gladness and clothed in a garment of praise (Isaiah 61:3). You will experience ineffable peace and a mystical lightness of being - it is priceless and beyond all human comprehension.

Inheritance. If we only knew what the Father had in store for us, plans to prosper us*, we would claim our inheritance straightaway, without hesitation. I see my belovedness and my giftedness as my inheritance. These were etched indelibly in the very core of my being when He knit me in my mother's womb. I was loved into existence by the Father, and out of that love, He created me, a talented individual, to bring something to this world that only I can. When I just am, and when I serve Him to the best of my abilities, I am using my inheritance to bless others. Being exactly where God placed me, and fulfilling the mission entrusted to me situates me right in the Kingdom of Heaven. There is much grace in that even if it can get to be an unrelenting slog at times.

When the going gets tough I remind myself that I am, we are all destined for bigger things. As 1 Peter 2:9 declares: But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God's special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

This is my inheritance: to be a light-bearer, leading others in this world into eternal life where we will all reside together in His Kingdom in perfect harmony.

Along with the three Is, there should be three Ps: Perspective, Priorities and Passion.

Perspective. Glass half-full or half-empty? A true believer will always be able to see an overflowing glass even in the darkness because being Christian means taking the very long view of eternal life. Time is measured not so much as chronos, in a linear fashion, but as kairos, relying on God's timing. Thus, mortality takes on a different complexion when the reality of Christ's salvific grace points us towards heaven. We can be big picture people, able to sift out what's unimportant, and be grateful for what is. Even hardship, loss and betrayal will not defeat us for hope based on the love of God springs eternal.

I would say that keeping my eyes trained on Jesus helps me  stay grounded, have a secure handle on my life and let go of what impedes my own growth. No matter what situations I find myself in, I do not have to lose my cool or my sense of dignity, and I can still choose to act as Jesus would, rather than react in primal fear. So when things get too overwhelming or I get very negative, I submit to His vision and more often than not, I stop sweating the small stuff and quickly regain much-needed perspective. We are all born to be God-eyed optimists so strive hard to be one.

Priorities. Among the many choices and paths we can take, what drives our decisions are our priorities. Before embarking on something new, counting the cost within the parameters set by our priorities is necessary. We cannot have everything. Something's gotta give. Sacrifices have to be made. It can get complicated. A great way to simplify life when things get a little muddled is to simply make Christ my priority. What follows is I then orientate my life towards Him and I live by His principles, and voila, clarity. All life's knotty issues can be solved, or at least resolved.

By no means is it easy to live out our priorities for it takes courage and constancy. Often, I have to subsume personal comfort and preferences, and be led as Saint Peter was, to go where I do not want to go, but when I act selflessly, I find I  receive much more than I could ever have imagined in return. It is like the multiplication of loaves. When I share my five loaves and two fish, Jesus multiplies it such that I get to partake of much more while having the pleasure of sharing such abundance with others as well. It is a win-win situation.

Passion. My SD recently said to me you have to be a passionate lover. We were, of course, talking about marriage, but I feel, it applies to life in general. By passionate he means not only scads of enthusiasm and interest in someone, getting to know everything one can about the other's life, just as Jesus was passionate about getting to know every individual He met intimately, but it is also about making an informed decision to give of myself unstintingly and fearlessly, wisdom and love poured into every gesture of love. To die to self and be bread broken for others, just as Christ was. That is passion in its extreme best.

Here, Saint Ignatius's prayer of generosity resonates with me every day, especially the following lines:

to give and not count the cost; 
to fight and not to heed the wounds;
to toil and not to seek for rest;
to labour and not to ask for reward,

Besides having a heart that gives, a listening, pondering heart (praying the rosary every day helps me get there) that oils the wheels of understanding and empathy is also necessary. SD counselled me to listen with all my senses. And when I fail to understand something or someone, here is where I need to go beyond my limited human understanding, and rely on the supernatural to guide me.

So here we are on the Feast Day of Corpus Christi, a feast that celebrates the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. I am ever grateful for the gift of Christ's Passion, plus His Holy Body and Blood which I can partake of and draw strength from. He is the one who always helps me regain perspective, right my priorities, and sustain my passion through every season in life. May I always get intimate with Him to know who I am and how I should spend my inheritance with wise profligacy.

* Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.