Giving thanks

The lead-up to Christmas has left me physically exhausted, a case of trying to do too many things/please too many people.

So it’s nice to be able to kick back and reflect on the year which has galloped by at breakneck speed.

My biggest accomplishment in 2008 was writing a 5,000-word paper on John Paul II’s Theology of the Body.

While I got a distinction for the paper and received tremendous affirmation from my good grade, true success lies in how I concretize the philosophy of the late pope in my life - something I suspect I will spend the rest of life doing, given its profundity and depth.

I consider 2008 a year well spent for I put my talents for teaching and writing to good use and I’d like to think that my industry bore good fruit.

In the process, I was blessed financially and I continue to be awed at God’s providence that has enabled me to pursue my desires, studying TOB in Melbourne being chief among them.

Relationships are the meat of existence and it was a year of feasting. I got to know my rellos in Melb (many radiant smiles and wet kisses from James and Hamish) and a visit from my Oz-based aunt made 2008 very special indeed.

My year-end gift came in the form of my cousin back from the UK to stay. We’ve kept in touch through the years but nothing beats face time and just sitting down to a meal together. Welcome home J., so glad you're home!

As for friends, good girl and guy friends, a tribute to all I know who have made my life sweeter, richer and helped me grow. You are all God’s gift to me and have enabled me to get through a truly manic year by blessing me with your love and making me feel pretty special.

If I were to characterize the year in one word, that word would be STRETCH. Intellectually, physically, psychologically, spiritually, in every way possible was I challenged to take it to the next level.

While I have never felt up to the task (like leading worship), I have not backed down and although results are less than perfect at times, I remind myself that sincerity makes up for under-par performance.

I am most grateful for the healing of my gastric problems, the amazingness of JP2, the ability to let go of past loves and a “think BIG” goal for the future.

I am least grateful for my lemon-sized fibroid, sprained, tight muscles and the extra padding of fat I’ve accumulated over the months.

I wish I have had more hours in the day, more discipline, more sleep and more will power.

I rejoice that I was so centred, so persevering, so hopeful and had so much to be grateful for.

Today, I am just glad that I have time to write and say thank you to the one who made all this possible.

Adventous action

I recently went in to see my SD and he asked me, "What does Christmas mean for you?" He had asked me the same question just at the start of Advent and was enquiring how I had been spending the weeks thus.

We had previously discussed the visitation and how Mary must've been encountering the darkest moments of her young life even as she uttered the words of the lovely Magnificat.

I had entered Advent in darkness myself for I had questions about my health (I feel like my body is in the worst state it's ever been due to abuse and neglect) and my fidelity to Jesus (I have not been writing lately but have instead sought the mind-numbing state of TV inertia).

I felt beset by my own weaknesses and human imperfections.

Despite the self-imposed darkness, there have been moments of light, insight and gratitude during this period of Advent as I have tried to keep in mind what SD had said about focusing on prayer and Scripture in attempting to decipher my own interpretation of Christmas.

During this latter meeting, I shared about how I felt challenged to do something this Christmas that was uncharacteristic for me and required quite a bit of psychic energy to muster the courage to carry through, he commented that this season of the liturgical calendar is a time for coming out of our comfort zones.

Just as Joseph and Mary had travelled far from home and family to Bethlehem, with Joseph probably having to stop on the way to seek work as a carpenter in order to finance their arduous journey, the couple would have found themselves far outside their comfort zones.

Alone, homeless, with a child on the way, what was supposed to be a joyous occasion with friends and relatives present to celebrate was instead a sojourn in a strange place marked by a singular lack of support.

And yet, because of their faith and acceptance of the situation, the willingness to be led by the Spirit, the eventual momentous occasion of the birth of Christ in a humble manger was witnessed and welcomed by lowly shepherds and their flocks, a celestial guiding light and and the otherworldly beauty of angels' voices.

The "coming" of the Lord does indeed happen in ways unimaginable and surprisingly joyous despite the strangeness of the situation.

One recurrent thought this Advent has been to let God be God and as I follow the dictates of my heart, led by the Spirit, I await the coming of the infant Jesus in taking the unusual action of coming out of my comfort zone to glorify Him in ways novel and creative.