Child-like

Every year I like to try my hand at something new to get out of my comfort zone and this year, it is to be a Catechesis of the Good Shepherd (CGS) catechist. The first session of the year began today for the three-six year olds in the atrium this afternoon and it was all a little daunting for it was unfamiliar territory.

There were 13 children of mixed ages with two newcomers, while a number of them were siblings. I felt grossly unqualified to be there for I did not know all the works in the atrium. And for the ones I did know, I am not sure I could present them adequately for last year's training is now all a blur.

I caught myself doing and saying things I should not be saying (so much for Anne and Mary's training), but as Cecilia reminded us, children are very forgiving, plus they would not know if we did not do very well. Thank goodness for that.

What struck me as I sat observing was how trusting and open young children can be. They truly believe in the goodness of the adults around them and were able to ask for help quite freely. I felt quite privileged to have that level of trust directed at me when it is completely unearned.

How liberating it must be to trust in the goodness of people around you. How great it must be to be spontaneous and transparent. How secure it must be to know you are loved and that everyone treats you well. Why can't adults live the same way? Well, to a certain extent, they can, if they trust in God as a child does, as these bunch of three - six year olds trusted me and the other adults in the atrium

Today I found myself doing something that the world would view as foolish, literally turning a client away because she first began group classes with another instructor. However, because I fully trust in providence, I am not worried at the outcome. Yes, it would be nice to have a new client and earn more, but I trust that God will take care of me as He has done in the past and even as recent as this week, so if it is meant to be, she will be my regular client. So I do what I feel is right and just in life and I entrust God with the rest.

Just a couple of days ago I was trying to explain to baby bro that I do not seek to be good Christian just because I do not want to go to hell, but because I have experienced the goodness of God's love, and so I constantly strive to reciprocate the love I have received so lavishly.

The other perks in seeking to do His will in all things and adhering to a certain way of life is actually freedom from fear that leads to irrational action and potential sin.

I am not afraid that I do not have financial security as the world defines security, and because I am unafraid, I am doing what I love and I am free from financial worry. Plus, I am not tempted to cheat, lie or misrepresent myself in any way, just to earn an extra buck.

Then there is also the freedom to be like a child, fearless, confident and full of joy. God's approval is the only thing I seek in life. It matters to me whether I make Him happy for I know that if I succeed in doing so, then I am, at the same time, making myself and others around me happy. I can harness the simple joy of a child.

So I look forward to learning how to be more child-like in the coming year for I had a very good day today in the atrium.

C made me day when she turned to me and thrust a drawing in my hand saying this is for you, after she had been ignoring everyone in the atrium.

Now how did she know I liked the colour purple and rainbows (the girl has rainbow-coloured hair)? Uncanny.
 

Living epiphanically

Epiphany - I just love the word. It's melodiously beautiful and it conjures up triumph and celebration, Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture,  just from the sound of it.

In the Christian context, Epiphany is a feast worthy of great merry-making for in seeking and following the star, we, like the Magi, have arrived at the manger and discovered the good news of God made man in a tiny, rosy-cheeked baby.

It can, if we let it, be a revelation of such impact that our world is no longer the same.

Pope Benedict XVI says the deep desire of the Magi to leave everything and begin the journey towards God is precisely the mystery of God's call and the mystery of vocation.

Thus in undertaking the journey "toward the kingship of God Himself", we ourselves can experience the joy and hope of this eventual discovery, kneeling in adoration as we lay our gifts at His feet.

He goes on to add: "The secret of holiness is friendship with Christ and faithful obedience to His will."

What is obedience to His will? What are the gifts that we can lay at His feet?

Pope Paul VI delineates it as "...simplicity of life, the spirit of prayer, charity towards all, especially towards the lowly and the poor, obedience and humility..." and that "...Without this mark of holiness, our word will have difficulty in touching the heart of modern man. It risks being vain and sterile."

We seem to live in a world that is morally bankrupt. The brutal gang rape in India last month that resulted in the death of a young woman is unthinkable to me, and yet, it happened.

How can a group of men treat another sentient being with such unspeakable violence and think it fine? It boggles my mind, and yet, this is my, our, reality.

Do I despair? Or simply dull my senses into a state of indifference? What can I do for I am but one voice.

All it took was one solitary star to lead the Magi. So all I have to do is to strive for holiness, to obediently carry out His will in faith, and let the light of our friendship shine a light in the darkness.

With Christ and Christ alone, can I do great things. With Him living in my heart, holding me by the hand, can I aspire to live in a world without violence but one filled with hope, love and joy.

My resolution this new year has nothing to do with personal goals but I would like to bring light to the world in a way that is not vain and sterile, nor in vain.

I would like to be able to lead others to the joyful discovery of the child Jesus in the manger who is fully human yet undeniably royal, and divine.

Therefore the feast of Epiphany is not just one day or a season in liturgical times, but a feast I seek to celebrate every day.

I want to live epiphanically. For He is here, among us, and we can see, hear and touch Him, if we but try.