Last week was a little stressful for P and I were discussing retirement. I am incredibly bad with anything to do with financial planning so I just don’t do it as far as I possibly can, until he nudges me. Last Monday, he nudged, and I immediately developed a bad tension headache, followed by a couple of sleepless nights. Since then, we have had several heart to heart conversations and I now understand him a little better, as he does me. I understand his need to be forward thinking financially, and I truly appreciate his decisions that will ensure both of us will be comfortable in retirement.
As it turns out, I did do some sort of financial planning in my younger days so I am doing better than he or I initially thought. But I love him all the more for it, for all he has done to date, for the nudge, and for our eventual retirement. Having a spouse who loves me and takes such good care of me is huge. I feel blessed, as I did the day we got married.
Again, I am amazed at how the Father has provided for me through P. I have been relying on the providence of the God since 2003 and I am well aware He sent P into my life to enrich my life in so many ways. While financial security is nice, and I am not downplaying the importance of it, it is, for me, merely the icing on the marriage cake. The cake itself is a partner in life who loves and respects me as I do him, and who seeks my joy as much as I do his.
Our marriage was ordained by God and by saying yes all those years ago, both P and I are co-creators with the Almighty Himself in our lives as individuals, and as a couple. Yes we have different jobs and responsibilities through the day, but in the evening we come together as a couple to worship the One who loved us first. We honour Him in prayer and we are nourished by His Word as we make space for Him in our marriage.
I am reminded of what I saw in the adoration room just before I met P for our fateful first date. As I sat with Jesus, I saw, cast on the wall, a shadow of the monstrance and it looked like a couple locked in an embrace, and right in the middle of that embrace was Jesus. I remember thinking then, hmmm, what does this mean, a relationship with this person with whom I am going on a blind date? Surely not, I am just being silly...
This image has been a mainstay through my marriage, for a number of weeks later, I saw the same thing in a separate adoration room. It was a pointed reminder that even in marriage, Christ must be in the centre of our lives, just as He was for me when I was single. It must always be Jesus first, followed by those He has put in my life. Centred as such as I am on Him, I have no doubt He will take care of me, and P, the rest of our days. I trust in His loving providence. Jesus, I trust in you.
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