Covenant community good

I spent Sunday with some of my fellow community brothers and sisters who will be taking their five-year covenant (I will be taking my five-year commitment) this coming Sunday, and it was a time of inspiration and drawing closer to one another. We shared our own personal journeys from the time we each took our first covenant to now. There is a common thread we see in our collective journeys: from not really knowing what covenant was all about when we first said yes to this particular community, to the sweetness of the first yes, the honeymoon period. This was followed by a period of disillusionment, of struggles and challenges, and finally coming to a place of clear-eyed decision on our next step.

The grace of saying yes initially was costly, measured over time, as we looked back on the past, but each one of us continues to say yes, knowing that life will always be uncertain, but the faithfulness of God never changes. God, who first loved us, and called us into covenant, God who upheld the covenant despite our many missteps and lack of faith through the years. He is the one each of us loves, and wants to affirm our faith and love for Him in this upcoming covenant-taking.

What was really evident was the internal chaos and pain caused by the departure of a couple mid-way through these last shared years together as a community. The loss made each one of us question our own covenant-taking, our faithfulness. The gravitas of the covenant was almost undermined, or was it truly? Certainly when “bad things” happen, whether it is to us personally, or caused by an event that impacts us so significantly, it causes us to pause and question our own responses. Faith is shaken, like it or not. But we must never forget to cling on to God’s promises during such times, when we find ourselves in despair or confusion, and pray through it all, asking for divine help to smoothen the path again, and bring clarity and light to the darkness.

Roadblocks are inevitable, and part of the course. We will experience conflict, misunderstanding and maybe even great hurt at times in community. Yet, because we said yes to community, we cannot walk away without first trying to reconcile, not just with others, but first of all, within ourselves, our relationship with God and our own inner equilibrium.

One great insight on Sunday was health, our own healthy psyches and bodies, as well as the health of our fellow brothers and sisters in community. We need to tend to our own selves first, growing in self-awareness, and wanting to change for the better. We need to adopt the discipline of a healthy lifestyle, tending to our physical, emotional and mental well-being so that this holds us in good stead as we then try to help our brothers and sisters come to that same state of health.

Of course we will never grow at the same speed, but, if we ourselves are in a state of health, we will be better able to hold the space for others, and help them achieve progress. By virtue of the covenant, we must not allow fragile egos to clash and burn relationships forever. We must always try and take a mature response to perceived hurts, forgiving the other immediately, presuming that as beloved brothers and sisters, we never set out to hurt the other intentionally, with malice in our thoughts, actions or words. Walk softly, hold all things lightly, and speak gently. And should we need help, we can rely on other brothers and sisters to help with conflict management.

E stressed a very important word – interdependence. For relationships to thrive and be healthy, we must understand the symbiosis of our community relationships and contribute actively, in a life-giving manner. The pains we take to know the other and connect with the other is key to nurturing healthy relationships. No man or woman is an island, so we each give our love, understanding, time, effort and talents to the table of community; and we each take from this table the love and empathy of others as seen in their time, effort and talents at various times. We know we can lean on the strengths of others as we, in turn, allow others to lean on us for strength. 

There is no mistake that we are in community with each other and we should welcome the learning moments of hurt, anger and conflict which can lead to building deeper bonds of love, but only if we each allow this to happen. Reconciliation is a beautiful thing that affirms all relationships and helps each of us grow spiritually, to become who He has created each of us to become. Let us also not forget all the good and joyous moments, allowing these to be the mortar between the bricks, especially when conflict comes along.  

I have also learned through the years to not take myself so seriously, to be able to laugh at myself and situations, to not sweat the small stuff. The Scripture that speaks deeply to me is from Matthew 7:5: You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour's eye. When I feel aggrieved or wronged, I sit with it, inviting Jesus in. As E pointed out, we need to touch the wounds of Jesus ourselves, in order that we can begin the healing process of conversion within ourselves.

Above all else, pray. Rely on the divine grace of the covenant to propel us towards life and joy, for that is exactly what God desires for each of us. So, this coming Sunday, I look forward to knowing, loving and serving Him in a very particular way, with a very specific group of people whom I call brothers and sisters. What power and joy there will be in saying yes wholeheartedly!