Child's play

Ever since J was a toddler, I have read to him storybooks and I have told him stories, especially on the way to school, to engage his attention constructively. I use the drive time to teach him practically anything - about the world we live in, virtues, life skills, vocabulary, or just to fire his imagination and sense of wonder. Woven inside these stories is simply one message – to affirm him that he is loved, and therefore I always have time for him.

Later when it was both him and his sister C, I would do the same if they requested stories. Sadly the way to school was too brief, in the last year, to really do justice to stories. So now it is usually on weekend outings, when the drive time is 20 minutes or more, that stories are requested.    

Just last week, on one such trip, J experienced a breakthrough, and I was again reminded that there is such great power in story-telling. The story I told both of them was not new, it was about perseverance, and the courage to try, and try again, despite failure, but this time around, it really resonated with J.

A couple of other things stood out for me as well. Chiefly, never underestimate the power of prayer and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit. J is currently going through a stage where he lacks self-confidence and due to that, he sometimes refuses to keep at an activity until he attains mastery over it. What’s more, he tends to refuse to believe in his achievements and rejects compliments. I have been wrecking my brains on how to help him and it is only through the Spirit that I was given the words to speak, and for him to receive those words with an open heart and be transformed.

Secondly, every moment is a teaching opportunity, whether it is about imparting new knowledge, or simply to communicate love, in such a way that the receiver has a felt experience of it. For when someone knows they are loved, they trust the person who loves them, and they are open in that relationship of love and trust to receive new things, even discipline.

My grandchildren know I love them, not so much because I tell them I love them, but more so in my actions. I make time for them. I do things for them like making pancakes for breakfast. I give them the gift of my presence when I am with them, and I show them that I delight in them. We have fun together, and we laugh together.

Joy is a necessary ingredient for growth. Without joy, the lesson is not as effective as we may have wished. That was what also came to me in J’s recent breakthrough. It began as a designated fun day so we got to ride cable cars with different pokemons decorating each cable car. We went on rides, played games, and we ate food they both liked, finishing off with ice cream, J’s favourite food in all the world - his ice cream face is one of unadulterated joy. So he was having a good day, and he was primed for the afternoon, after his nap. He expected more fun and he got it. When I told that story about perseverance on the car ride to River Wonders, he was ready to hear it, and to make it his own, which he did the very next day. May he continue to retain this kernel of self-believe in more challenging days to come. I think I can, I think I can…I can do it!

At yesterday’s community meeting, D reminded us that being a missionary disciple requires a holistic approach in which we not only receive, but we give. There is no linear progression and we have to be open to how these roles are interchangeable and complementary. He highlighted three roles we all need to grow in, in order that we can love God in a way that keeps us excited and enthusiastic in how we serve, until the day we go home to Him. How we keep the passion going in our relationship with God is vital.

CHILD: As children of God, sons and daughters, we have to experience ourselves as beloved, precious and delightful. We engage in play, exploration, enjoyment, observation and in just being who we are. At this level, we trust in the Father, we accept our own identities and we are secure in who we are. However, we cannot remain as needy, narcissistic younglings, only opening our mouths demandingly to receive all the time. We need to channel the child in us to change the world with child-like glee.

DISCIPLE: A disciple is one who is a follower, student, novice or apprentice and there is great emphasis on learning, discovering, imitating, training, experimenting and assimilating. The qualities of being teachable, obedient, open, humble, patient and persevering hold us in good stead here. For there is always some gift or talent to hone, to make us ready to serve well. Although a fundamental mindset to have, we must not remain stuck in this mode only, if not we will never exercise our true purpose on earth – what we are actually created to do, and, consequently, to find meaning and self-fulfillment in life.

STEWARD: Here if where our mission takes place. We give back as a mentor, leader, guide, teacher, evangelist, shepherd or apostle. We serve the Lord with all our heart, soul, mind and strength by sharing, imparting and pastoring. We love our neighbours as ourselves. This is huge. If we only focus on this aspect, we will very quickly get burned out. Or we may even lose our way by serving not in the way He wants us to serve, but only by my own strength and mind. Spiritual dryness is a constant.    

Like J, I need days where I luxuriate in fun. Like a child, I play, I laugh, and I sing. I depend on the Father in a way that shows I trust Him and all His plans for me which are pure love. I commit everything into His hands, and I am free to just be, nothing more, nothing less. I let Him love me in a way that I can experience joy and deep inner peace. I stop being an adult who uses logic, and I tune in to the mystery of His love, which is always so much more than I could ever envision. By so doing, I prime myself to be better at the roles of disciple and steward.

Life is not all fun and games. It can present challenges. Growth can be painful. Loss and decay (ageing and sickness) are all part and parcel of life. Death is real, but so is life. So every moment of our lives, there is something to glean, to learn from, and then to give back: to make lemonade out of the lemons, and then to give the lemonade away, for free, so that others may be refreshed and rejuvenated.

Just as teaching J can be rewarding and frustrating all at once, I learn so much from both he and C when I engage with them. I get in touch with my limitations and my weaknesses, as I do my strengths and divine-inspired inner beauty. We are all complex beings and we should honour our own complexities by taking the time to know and understand them, and to decide what we want to do with them.

The Shema Moses gave in Deuteronomy 6:4-9 seems fitting whether I nurture the child, disciple or steward me:

Hear, O Israel: The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Lord, let me spend each day remembering what I learn each day, as a child, and disciple, in order that I can be a better steward today.