In praise of fathers

Yesterday was my deceased father's birthday. Remembering his birthday makes me miss him sorely. He was such an imperfect man, and yet, in his gross imperfections, he was the perfect father, for he loved me and my siblings dearly, and would have given up his life for any of us without a moment's thought.

The older I get, the more I appreciate the man he was and the one he aspired to be. I find myself aligning with his values, for he chose to emulate my grandfather for the most part, who was a good and upright man.

Despite the fact my grandfather himself lacked a father, he was guided by the Father of us all. A sickly baby when he was born to a mother recently widowed with three other sons to care for, he was left on the doorstep of a convent, consigned to God, so to speak. He was taken in, baptized and survived. When his mother heard he was alive, she came back for him, pledging to bring him up in the Catholic faith. And that was how my grandfather grew up to be a God-fearing man who fathered seven children of his own, of which Dad was the eldest.

As his father taught him, my father taught me right from wrong. I am very much guided, especially in difficult situations, by what he would have done. Although, I am so much like him at times that it scares me, for he was highly critical being perfectionistic, autocratic, hot-tempered and impatient - he could be a royal pain.

I thank God for the gift of my father for without him in my life I would not have learned many things, chief among which is how to be a woman of substance and style. His greatest gifts to me were my baptism, my vibrant Catholic faith, and the education I received at his hands which was both catholic and enriching:

I learned to always seek the truth and to strive unceasingly to be better person.

I learned to embrace pain and suffering like a champion, without a whimper; to be strong, independent and brave. Whining is for wimps. Regrets are for fools. Make a decision and run with it, don't waffle.

Through him I learned how to appreciate the finer things in life, but also how to live simply, savouring the beauty of simplicity.

Money, power, fame and status are inconsequential for all men and women are created equal and respect is due to all in equal measure. The only person worthy of worship is God, no one else. He would have shaken his head in disbelief at the extent the world adulates money, power, fame and status now.

Perhaps one of the most valuable life lessons my father taught me is to walk only to the beat of God's drum: to be true to who I am (as God created me), standing by my beliefs even if they are unpopular.

Because of him I do not care what others think of me for my happiness and actions do not hinge on the approbation of others. The approval of my Father in heaven is all that matters. This was a lesson he learned from his own father, who, in turn, learned it from his Father. It is a vintage truth I appreciate more fully, the older I get, and the more I learn from Father God. 

Thank you, Daddy, for all you have taught me and given me, for helping me become a real woman, proud of and comfortable in her femininity. And thank you Abba, Father, for in your infinite wisdom you gave me a father who taught me well.

I thank and praise all fathers who love their children and teach them well.