Is it just me or do temptations sing sweet, seductive tunes that are hard to ignore during the Lenten season? I find myself like Saint Paul - extremely contrary.
When it comes to prayer time, I get distracted incredibly fast or I drag my feet. Even though when I actually go inward and stand before God, transformation does take place. My unwilling heart uncovers the hidden desire I had inside to seek God and let Him touch me and fill me with joy. I am then given the necessary nourishment to weather the vicissitudes of the days to come. It is all good. So ask me why I can't pray more readily or eagerly?
On days of fasting, food suddenly seems all the more appealing and my tummy rumbles louder than it does on days when I am too busy to eat (and by default, am fasting). I struggle to define what constitutes true fasting, putting all my energies into counting the number of grains of rice I eat and pondering whether eggs count as meat or not.
I even delight in the fact that I may be losing some weight - always a desired thing. Thus the spirit of the fast is so easily lost, as is the opportunity to unite my efforts with my brothers and sisters in the world who are starving by circumstance and not choice.
It is tough to keep the wholesome, unadulterated flavour of my Lenten efforts authentic. The answer to maintaining authenticity, as we all know, is interiority. A desert experience. Father Raniero Cantalamessa writes in his first Lenten homily:
Inwardness is the way to an authentic life. There is so much talk today of authenticity and it is made the criterion of success or lack thereof in life. However, where is authenticity for a Christian? When is it that a person is truly himself? Only when he has God as his measure.
So what keeps me from being grounded and real? It is the d word. As Father C writes:
Today also, the whole effort of the devil is to divert man from the purpose for which he is in the world, which is to know, love and serve God in this life to enjoy him later in the next; to distract him. But Satan is astute; he does not appear as a person with horns and the smell of sulfur. It would be too easy to recognize him. He makes use of good things leading them to excess, absolutizing them and making them idols. Money is a good thing, as is pleasure, sex, eating, drinking. However, if they become the most important thing in life, they are no longer means but become destructive for the soul and often also for the body.
The presence of evil in the world is something we do face. Our inclination to concupiscence is alive and kicking. But because Christ conquered the devil, we have nothing to fear. I may struggle with temptation in my Lenten journey, but I can and will persist for I know Lent can be a season of great beauty and fulfilment.
Father C's homily is not just an invitation to sobriety**, but to go into the desert, as Jesus did. To go down into my own heart, to renew my contact with God, because “Truth dwells in the interior man.” Truth that is not only "the secret of happiness and of peace in this life" but is about love.
What does one in love desire more than to be alone, in intimacy, with the person loved? God is in love with us and he wants us to be in love with him. Speaking of his people as of a bride, God says: “I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her” (Hosea 2:16). We know what the effect is of being in love: all things and all other persons withdraw, are placed in the background. There is a presence that fills everything and renders all the rest “secondary.” It does not isolate from others, rather it renders one more attentive and disposed to others. Oh if we men and women of the Church would discover how close to us, within our reach, is the happiness and the peace that we seek in this world!
So the desert is not a place of desolation but a place of living intimacy. Lent can be much more than deprivation or stern discipline, it can be a time of courtship and delight, of tender love.
Jesus awaits us in the desert: let us not leave him alone during this time.
* http://www.zenit.org/en/articles/father-cantalamessa-s-1st-lent-homily-2014
** As defined by Father C, sobriety is to willingly deprive oneself from little and great comforts, of what is useless, and sometimes also damaging to one’s health. This fasting is solidarity with the poverty of so many.
When it comes to prayer time, I get distracted incredibly fast or I drag my feet. Even though when I actually go inward and stand before God, transformation does take place. My unwilling heart uncovers the hidden desire I had inside to seek God and let Him touch me and fill me with joy. I am then given the necessary nourishment to weather the vicissitudes of the days to come. It is all good. So ask me why I can't pray more readily or eagerly?
On days of fasting, food suddenly seems all the more appealing and my tummy rumbles louder than it does on days when I am too busy to eat (and by default, am fasting). I struggle to define what constitutes true fasting, putting all my energies into counting the number of grains of rice I eat and pondering whether eggs count as meat or not.
I even delight in the fact that I may be losing some weight - always a desired thing. Thus the spirit of the fast is so easily lost, as is the opportunity to unite my efforts with my brothers and sisters in the world who are starving by circumstance and not choice.
It is tough to keep the wholesome, unadulterated flavour of my Lenten efforts authentic. The answer to maintaining authenticity, as we all know, is interiority. A desert experience. Father Raniero Cantalamessa writes in his first Lenten homily:
Inwardness is the way to an authentic life. There is so much talk today of authenticity and it is made the criterion of success or lack thereof in life. However, where is authenticity for a Christian? When is it that a person is truly himself? Only when he has God as his measure.
So what keeps me from being grounded and real? It is the d word. As Father C writes:
Today also, the whole effort of the devil is to divert man from the purpose for which he is in the world, which is to know, love and serve God in this life to enjoy him later in the next; to distract him. But Satan is astute; he does not appear as a person with horns and the smell of sulfur. It would be too easy to recognize him. He makes use of good things leading them to excess, absolutizing them and making them idols. Money is a good thing, as is pleasure, sex, eating, drinking. However, if they become the most important thing in life, they are no longer means but become destructive for the soul and often also for the body.
The presence of evil in the world is something we do face. Our inclination to concupiscence is alive and kicking. But because Christ conquered the devil, we have nothing to fear. I may struggle with temptation in my Lenten journey, but I can and will persist for I know Lent can be a season of great beauty and fulfilment.
Father C's homily is not just an invitation to sobriety**, but to go into the desert, as Jesus did. To go down into my own heart, to renew my contact with God, because “Truth dwells in the interior man.” Truth that is not only "the secret of happiness and of peace in this life" but is about love.
What does one in love desire more than to be alone, in intimacy, with the person loved? God is in love with us and he wants us to be in love with him. Speaking of his people as of a bride, God says: “I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her” (Hosea 2:16). We know what the effect is of being in love: all things and all other persons withdraw, are placed in the background. There is a presence that fills everything and renders all the rest “secondary.” It does not isolate from others, rather it renders one more attentive and disposed to others. Oh if we men and women of the Church would discover how close to us, within our reach, is the happiness and the peace that we seek in this world!
So the desert is not a place of desolation but a place of living intimacy. Lent can be much more than deprivation or stern discipline, it can be a time of courtship and delight, of tender love.
Jesus awaits us in the desert: let us not leave him alone during this time.
* http://www.zenit.org/en/articles/father-cantalamessa-s-1st-lent-homily-2014
** As defined by Father C, sobriety is to willingly deprive oneself from little and great comforts, of what is useless, and sometimes also damaging to one’s health. This fasting is solidarity with the poverty of so many.
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