The most common response to celibacy is: What a waste! I just got that comment this afternoon from a friend whom I know wants me to be happy, bless you K.
This was not unlike the response of P whom I met last weekend and had asked if I had a boyfriend or a lover and then wanted to know why I did not have an active sex life when I said neither.
It amuses and exasperates me in turn when I meet people who decide that my happiness is predicated solely on pleasures of the flesh. Is it so tragic to be a single, attractive (their words, not mine) woman who is celibate both by choice and circumstance?
I know I am on my soapbox again but it amazes me how much people think of sex, or the lack thereof and make erroneous judgements based on that.
Pleasurable as sex is because it is something good that comes from God (that humans have expertly managed to subvert, prostitute and commoditize), it is really not the be all and end all of life nor the chief reason for its happiness and fulfilment.
Yes the Bible does say we are created not to be alone and that marriage is the vocation of most people. However, there is an alternative calling: to be celibate for the kingdom, in the words of my revered JPII.
It is to realize that the perfection of marriage can only be found in heaven and to make the decision to postpone the pleasures and joys of marriage until then for we are created first and foremost to be in nuptial union with God and celibacy is a way of living out and anticipating this heavenly marriage in the here and now.
The homework this week is to reflect on what kind of relationship I have with God. I like to think that I view Him not just as father, brother, friend, creator, saviour, provider, counsellor... but also as husband and lover.
With Christ as my bridegroom, I don't feel less of a woman just because I am not desired by the opposite sex for my identity as woman is not reliant on external validation but on this intimate and precious relationship I have with Him. Thus I don't struggle as much as many single, celibate women out there do, all thanks to His unconditional and generous love.
Single women in particular are prey to society's edict that a woman cannot be happy alone. She must needs find herself a mate for to be alone is akin to a life of abject loneliness and she must be sexually active to be complete. Ladies, that is the biggest crock so don't believe it. There are many ways to nirvana if you keep your eyes on Christ and Christ alone.
This was not unlike the response of P whom I met last weekend and had asked if I had a boyfriend or a lover and then wanted to know why I did not have an active sex life when I said neither.
It amuses and exasperates me in turn when I meet people who decide that my happiness is predicated solely on pleasures of the flesh. Is it so tragic to be a single, attractive (their words, not mine) woman who is celibate both by choice and circumstance?
I know I am on my soapbox again but it amazes me how much people think of sex, or the lack thereof and make erroneous judgements based on that.
Pleasurable as sex is because it is something good that comes from God (that humans have expertly managed to subvert, prostitute and commoditize), it is really not the be all and end all of life nor the chief reason for its happiness and fulfilment.
Yes the Bible does say we are created not to be alone and that marriage is the vocation of most people. However, there is an alternative calling: to be celibate for the kingdom, in the words of my revered JPII.
It is to realize that the perfection of marriage can only be found in heaven and to make the decision to postpone the pleasures and joys of marriage until then for we are created first and foremost to be in nuptial union with God and celibacy is a way of living out and anticipating this heavenly marriage in the here and now.
The homework this week is to reflect on what kind of relationship I have with God. I like to think that I view Him not just as father, brother, friend, creator, saviour, provider, counsellor... but also as husband and lover.
With Christ as my bridegroom, I don't feel less of a woman just because I am not desired by the opposite sex for my identity as woman is not reliant on external validation but on this intimate and precious relationship I have with Him. Thus I don't struggle as much as many single, celibate women out there do, all thanks to His unconditional and generous love.
Single women in particular are prey to society's edict that a woman cannot be happy alone. She must needs find herself a mate for to be alone is akin to a life of abject loneliness and she must be sexually active to be complete. Ladies, that is the biggest crock so don't believe it. There are many ways to nirvana if you keep your eyes on Christ and Christ alone.
As for my life, I only consider it a waste if I do not bring a smile to my mother's face every day, or help people around me feel better physically and emotionally.
And it is a fraudulent waste if I do not live true to who I am by orienting myself to God each day and allowing Him to use me as His hands and feet.
He is my shepherd and I shall not want.
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