Saying yes to discipleship

Ever since I used the beautiful spathodea blooms I found on the grounds of the Bangalore retreat centre to represent God in a collage of my life story, I have always regarded a sighting of these gorgeous orangey red flowers of the African Tulip Tree, its more common moniker, as a sign from God, that He is close by and very present in my life.

Last night I dreamt that I found a giant spathodea blossom and I was thrilled at my unusual find and taking photographs of it to record the special moment. I forgot my dream until I spotted an orange flower on my way to the studio this morning and it triggered my memory.

I was greatly encouraged for I was about to give a talk in the afternoon and I was nervous. The subject was broad, discipleship, and I was unsure that what I had prepared was relevant and inspiring. 

When C first asked me if I would do it, my first instinct was to say no. Why me? Who would want to listen to me ramble on? Why put myself through an ordeal where I was most likely to make a fool of myself? Plus I would need to research and write my speech from scratch. Eeeks, where to start, what to say, can I find time to prep for it... I was in a panic.

But any opportunity to testify to God's love for me is something I cannot turn down for my relationship with the Lord is one I am most grateful for and it is something I am glad to be able to celebrate publicly. Plus, it's not about me or my issues, but it's all about God. For Him, I can be bold even if I personally am not. 

I am happy that it went fairly well and that it's over! Onward to the next mountain top.

What is my take away from this experience? I was able to see that I have grown, which is nice. I have also enjoyed looking back on my journey for it has been a joy ride like no other, full of twists and turns, that have made it scary exciting. 

But most of all, I have been reminded that if I keep myself open to new experiences and I rely totally on Jesus to be my guide, He will reward me with surprises and blessings, and I do so love both surprises and blessings thus it was an invitation I could not resist.

Saying yes is never easy and it comes with a price tag, but Lord, it is sweet.