Human beings are social by nature. This means that there is a given pattern of human design that we all feel called to fulfil; and which if we ignored would mean that a dimension of our humanity would remain undeveloped.*
Only in society, interacting closely with other people, can we fully develop as persons.
The first stratum of society we are all exposed to is our own families. Therefore our first training ground in learning to become human is within the family - as child, sibling, grandchild, niece or nephew, cousin, and even aunt or uncle in big, extended families.
As we enter school, we develop friendships with our peers and we find mentors in our teachers. And when we transition into adulthood, we become colleagues, employees, managers or employers - and citizens.
To complete the circle, we eventually become spouses and parents ourselves.
At every stage of our life, we can weave in and out of various social circles of our own choosing. And yet, we can never lose the familial relationships established in our childhood even if we deny their existence, finding them lacking and onerous.
I found this great quote by Father Granados, my TOB lecturer in Melbourne, that proposes JPII's TOB is, "not just about sexuality, but about the truth of love as the foundation of the person’s dignity and the meaning of reality; and about the family as the place where the person finds himself and his way towards happiness."
It is in our families that we learn how to be patient, kind, forgiving, honest, generous, caring and all the other qualities that define a person as good or a decent human being. It is where we first learn how to love.
Upon my return from studying abroad, I found living at home quite impossible for I was used to living my life without the restriction of obligation and the tension of family dynamics.
I was dismayed for I found myself regressing into this grouchy, crazy person when I thought I had become a fairly amiable and collected woman.
In learning how to live in the pressure cooker of dysfunctional and broken relationships, how to deal with hateful situations, I had to face up to my own flaws and deficiencies, resolve my own demons in order to fashion my own happiness within the parameters of the family structure.
Reality can bite, especially the reality of unhappy family situations and ridiculous relatives, but I wouldn't trade mine in for each one has helped lick me into shape: I am a better person because of them.
So if you want to grow spiritually and emotionally, you don't have to travel far. Just learn to love your family at close range and you will get there.
After all if we don't strive for harmony within our own backyards how can we hope to broker world peace?
* From course notes of the social justice module of Personal Compass.
Only in society, interacting closely with other people, can we fully develop as persons.
The first stratum of society we are all exposed to is our own families. Therefore our first training ground in learning to become human is within the family - as child, sibling, grandchild, niece or nephew, cousin, and even aunt or uncle in big, extended families.
As we enter school, we develop friendships with our peers and we find mentors in our teachers. And when we transition into adulthood, we become colleagues, employees, managers or employers - and citizens.
To complete the circle, we eventually become spouses and parents ourselves.
At every stage of our life, we can weave in and out of various social circles of our own choosing. And yet, we can never lose the familial relationships established in our childhood even if we deny their existence, finding them lacking and onerous.
I found this great quote by Father Granados, my TOB lecturer in Melbourne, that proposes JPII's TOB is, "not just about sexuality, but about the truth of love as the foundation of the person’s dignity and the meaning of reality; and about the family as the place where the person finds himself and his way towards happiness."
It is in our families that we learn how to be patient, kind, forgiving, honest, generous, caring and all the other qualities that define a person as good or a decent human being. It is where we first learn how to love.
Upon my return from studying abroad, I found living at home quite impossible for I was used to living my life without the restriction of obligation and the tension of family dynamics.
I was dismayed for I found myself regressing into this grouchy, crazy person when I thought I had become a fairly amiable and collected woman.
In learning how to live in the pressure cooker of dysfunctional and broken relationships, how to deal with hateful situations, I had to face up to my own flaws and deficiencies, resolve my own demons in order to fashion my own happiness within the parameters of the family structure.
Reality can bite, especially the reality of unhappy family situations and ridiculous relatives, but I wouldn't trade mine in for each one has helped lick me into shape: I am a better person because of them.
So if you want to grow spiritually and emotionally, you don't have to travel far. Just learn to love your family at close range and you will get there.
After all if we don't strive for harmony within our own backyards how can we hope to broker world peace?
* From course notes of the social justice module of Personal Compass.
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