Speaking the truth

Last Friday I was invited to dinner by the Men to Men Ministry. I had not met the group before so I looked forward to getting to know them. I had a great time - it was a fun evening of good food, wine and conversation and I was struck by their easy camaraderie and their commitment to their ministry.

So what’s the secret? I think part of the reason why the men are so strongly committed is due, in part, to the leadership. They joked about how if they skipped too many meetings, they would be invited to a private breakfast tete a tete with Edwyn who leads the group.

We live in a world ruled by political correctness, where often we refrain from “correcting” a wrong, because we are so concerned about infringing the rights of others and offending them. More so if we are Christian. It’s not the done thing. We must make nice all the time. Accept people for who they are.

Yes, we must love the sinner, but we need not accept the sin. We forget that Jesus overturned the tables of the money lenders in the temple. That He was never afraid of telling the truth, motivated by His deep love for humanity.

Although we are adults and should know the difference between right and wrong, we do sometimes need the encouragement and support of our loved ones to steer us back onto the right path, especially if we veer off. That’s where family and friends who love us come in.

I am especially grateful for the forthrightness of E., who has been one of my spiritual guides these past years. She has never been afraid of telling it like it is, unpalatable as her words may have been to my ears at the time. Invariably I would follow her advice (after wrestling with it for a while) for I knew she was motivated by a spirit of love, and wisdom.

So what if she came across like a heavy-handed parent at times? I knew she was right, even if at the time I didn’t fully understand why, for I respected her authority – an authority that came from her sustained, intimate relationship with the Trinity. I am glad, in retrospect, that I allowed her words to guide me for I have gained much, despite "losing" much initially.

There are certain truths in the world we cannot sugar-coat in relativism. Black is black and will never be white even if we argue till we are blue in the face about it. So it's important not to be afraid of treading on toes in the effort to live His way, His truth and His life.

As St. Paul would say, “Never grow tired of doing what is right.” Speak the truth in love.