Sometimes I ponder how much I would give up, how far I would go to defend my love for Jesus. Would I be able to give up my life if called upon to do so? Or would I wimp out and deny His name, like Peter did, not once, but thrice.
Even now, in a social setting of "believers" and "non-believers", I let "blasphemous" remarks go, forgoing the risk of being labelled Jesus freak or, heaven forbid, totally uncool.
"Don't rock the boat. Don't make everyone uncomfortable." I rationalise my limp responses or silence. "If I give an honest opinion, I will come across as a narrow-minded Christian and turn people off Christianity, so it's better to let it slide."
Please show me how I can change the world when I lack the requisite courage to bear witness in the world? Especially since I am so comfortable remaining within the enclave of like-minded people.
Instead of demarcating the world into "them and us", to really be like Jesus, I must go forth and sit with "sinners". Break bread with them. Get to know them and to love them. Accept them for who they are. Recognize the seed of goodness within each person I meet and hopefully, by reflecting the love of Jesus, make the seed grow through each encounter.
I've been reading about the recent slaying of Fr. Ragheed Aziz Ganni and three deacons, shot and killed in Mosul, Iraq, last Sunday after Mass. Fr. Ragheed chose to return to his home country in 2003 upon completion of his studies in Rome, knowing he was going back, literally, to a war zone, and an eventual death sentence.
The description of severe and constant persecution, the real fear of dying for one's faith every single day is just mind-boggling to me - who sits in air-conditioned comfort when I attend mass, secure in the knowledge I am safe from violence. No bullets whizzing through church windows or celebrating mass in bombed-out ruins.
Out of love for his people, Fr. Ragheed made the ultimate sacrifice. I find his courage, strength and tireless zeal inspiring. And I pray that this sacrifice will not spawn more hatred and violence, but will instead spur each of us to follow his example of fidelity and bring the message of hope and love to all we meet. Every single day.
"Today I have died to self." Words he uttered to a good friend on the day of his ordination.
May I be given a small measure of the grace given to Fr. Ragheed to die to self and live in Christ, Christ who died for us so willingly out of love. A sacrifice I remember at every Eucharistic celebration, and in particular today, when I tasted His life-giving blood in the wine.
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