Wednesday, July 04, 2018

Levelling up

I am still reflecting on words that E gave me when she prayed with me this birthday, new wine skins and deep calling unto deep. It certainly ties in with what spoke to me at the mass I attended on my birthday. During that mass, all I could experience was a deep sense of gratitude for what has been given to me, and how, despite the radical transformation my life had taken, I was still able to hold my head above the water and swim, which, to me, is a great achievement. All kudos to Jesus and Mother Mary whom I lean on every day to know the way I should walk, and to do it with wisdom and grace.

Marriage has been my great spiritual adventure, my new mission fields, and these last 12 months have called forth from me a greater capacity for love, patience, forgiveness, wisdom and compassion through a carefully cultivated intimate relationship with the Lord. I am grateful I have not bombed too disastrously and I have had such tremendous fun living wholeheartedly, purposefully.

Life is all about living out the promises God has made with me, and working hard at carrying out the plans He has to prosper me to hopefully, eventually, reap good fruit. It is about transforming belief into faith (thank you, Archie, for today’s homily* and how we should be putting our faith into practice in all areas of our lives). How do I, in my waking hours, make the life-giving, selfless and oft difficult choices that speak of Jesus consistently and tellingly to everyone around me? How do I exude the joy of the Gospel like the seductive scent of jasmine wafting on a cool evening breeze?

Where is my heart, my honour, my priorities in life? They all rest in the generous heart of Father God. If I believe in the Father who loved the world so much that He gave us His only Son to die on the cross so that we may be redeemed, then I must be able to give up my own life, nailing it to the cross in order to live the resurrected life of Easter. I must be the haemorrhagic woman who claimed healing by boldly touching the cloak of Jesus, and then courageously admitting her act in order to receive unimagined new life. I must be the little girl who gets up and walks about when I hear the voice of Jesus calling me from my sleep of death.

Talitha kum! Awake to wine skins, new depths. Frankly, this scares me. I am physically quite run down, tired and aching all the time. Where do I have the energy to do more, Lord? Can’t I just keep on doing what I am doing now that I have attained a new level of competence and reached a comfort level of sorts? And yet, His Spirit moves me, like Philip who was whisked away to places where he was needed, again and again. I must still go where He wants to lead me. I need to level up. Now that the new wine is in, it needs to be stored in new wine skins. I need to dig deeper, and challenge myself further. Refine my self and find a new attitude of humble and irrepressible  hope. This is the Christian ethos - as disciples we move constantly to align our wills with the Father’s will in order to spread the Good News that love, self-sacrificing love, conquers all.

So what do I want in this new year, a question E posed me. I think I would like to ask for the gift of joy, to be able to laugh at myself and to make light of my own load first, then to be able to make the people around me smile and laugh, to refresh weary hearts, to soothe the fearful, calm the angry, ease lonely souls, liberate the burdened, and simply enable God’s healing of the brokenness that lies within the hearts of others. Yes, joy will definitely be handy in these coming days, weeks and months.

* https://www.catholic.sg/04-july-2018-wednesday-13th-week-ordinary-time/ 

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