Yesterday at mass Father Sam reminded us that we are mid-way through Lent and he asked us to reflect on how our Lenten season has been going thus far. Are we on track, or have we already deviated from what we set out to do at the beginning of Lent?
For this year, I only had one thought, and that was to be open to God speaking in my life, to listen and to respond in such a way I would come out of Lent more entrenched in God's love, and consequently be more able to act in ways that are truly His ways.I want to know exactly what to say and do at any moment in time so that integrated in thought, word and deed, my life becomes His light to the world. It is a lofty aspiration and calls for much divine grace. But this is precisely what Lent is all about, to return to Him so that I can be more and more like Him. The prescribed ways of prayer, fasting and giving alms have actually helped me.
Although I haven't been so religious about fasting from food, I have tried to maintain a fast from apathy. Given that I am constantly physically tired which makes me edgy and more self-centred as self-preservation mode kicks in very strongly, I wanted to come out of myself and be there for others. I would say I have been quite sensitive to the needs of others and in bringing His love to others. However, it also comes, at times, with a huge price.
Opening one's heart to God and others requires humility, the humility of a humble(d), contrite heart. It calls for the ability to see where I am wrong in my thinking and change my ways. It calls for me to come out of my comfort zone and stretch spiritually. It calls for me to recognize and acknowledge my own poverty, my limitations, weaknesses and sins, and to rely totally on Jesus to get me where I need to go so as to align myself completely with Him. Imago dei.
This upcoming Sunday's Gospel talks about how God has planted His law into our hearts and we no longer need people around us to teach us. A well-formed conscience is one of the gifts of loving and following Jesus. I would say I know pretty much immediately what is right and wrong, what I ought to do and what I ought not to do. However whether I do what I ought to do with good grace is another matter altogether.
During these last weeks I have had to struggle and wrestle with doing the right thing. I have had to come face to face with my poverty, my uncharitable thoughts and emotions, my meanness, and I have had to ask Jesus to purify them so that I can do the right thing exactly as a Pharisee would do it with precise and practical actions, and to do it with the right heart and motive, exactly how Jesus would do it purely out of love and compassion, and with great sensitivity. The purification process has largely been through my increased prayer life, where I have received insight and moral strength.
So Lent has been quite a tumultuous journey emotionally thus far. It has also been a great journey for I have seen changes in myself. I have been able to take on the words of others - even though I argue as if I am right, I do listen as if I am wrong - and applied the necessary humbling changes to self. What's been nice is that others have corroborated the changes. Encouraging.
So I celebrate my Lenten journey and I exult as yesterday's psalm exhorts me to do. God is good and He made me to be like Him, good. In the coming days I will continue to open my heart to Him and let Him mould me as He wills.
For this year, I only had one thought, and that was to be open to God speaking in my life, to listen and to respond in such a way I would come out of Lent more entrenched in God's love, and consequently be more able to act in ways that are truly His ways.I want to know exactly what to say and do at any moment in time so that integrated in thought, word and deed, my life becomes His light to the world. It is a lofty aspiration and calls for much divine grace. But this is precisely what Lent is all about, to return to Him so that I can be more and more like Him. The prescribed ways of prayer, fasting and giving alms have actually helped me.
Although I haven't been so religious about fasting from food, I have tried to maintain a fast from apathy. Given that I am constantly physically tired which makes me edgy and more self-centred as self-preservation mode kicks in very strongly, I wanted to come out of myself and be there for others. I would say I have been quite sensitive to the needs of others and in bringing His love to others. However, it also comes, at times, with a huge price.
Opening one's heart to God and others requires humility, the humility of a humble(d), contrite heart. It calls for the ability to see where I am wrong in my thinking and change my ways. It calls for me to come out of my comfort zone and stretch spiritually. It calls for me to recognize and acknowledge my own poverty, my limitations, weaknesses and sins, and to rely totally on Jesus to get me where I need to go so as to align myself completely with Him. Imago dei.
This upcoming Sunday's Gospel talks about how God has planted His law into our hearts and we no longer need people around us to teach us. A well-formed conscience is one of the gifts of loving and following Jesus. I would say I know pretty much immediately what is right and wrong, what I ought to do and what I ought not to do. However whether I do what I ought to do with good grace is another matter altogether.
During these last weeks I have had to struggle and wrestle with doing the right thing. I have had to come face to face with my poverty, my uncharitable thoughts and emotions, my meanness, and I have had to ask Jesus to purify them so that I can do the right thing exactly as a Pharisee would do it with precise and practical actions, and to do it with the right heart and motive, exactly how Jesus would do it purely out of love and compassion, and with great sensitivity. The purification process has largely been through my increased prayer life, where I have received insight and moral strength.
So Lent has been quite a tumultuous journey emotionally thus far. It has also been a great journey for I have seen changes in myself. I have been able to take on the words of others - even though I argue as if I am right, I do listen as if I am wrong - and applied the necessary humbling changes to self. What's been nice is that others have corroborated the changes. Encouraging.
So I celebrate my Lenten journey and I exult as yesterday's psalm exhorts me to do. God is good and He made me to be like Him, good. In the coming days I will continue to open my heart to Him and let Him mould me as He wills.
No comments:
Post a Comment