Saturday, February 15, 2014

Of mice and monkeys

Last weekend I was invited to TR's home for steamboat and it was great CNY fun. MP upped the conviviality factor by doubling up as the lohei mui (the lass who preps the yusheng salad for all), expertly reading from her Blackberry, and the jiu mei (alcohol maid) dispensing the wine freely.

TR put on a spread of the freshest seafood, vegetables and condiments to satisfy even the pickiest palate. The dessert spread included fruit, ice cream and a gorgeous red velvet cake baked by M.

Apart from the excellent eats, TR provided the entertainment as well. Conversant with the Chinese zodiac, she answered questions on the different animals and their traits, going round the dinner table.

As TR touched on the character strengths and flaws of each animal and its compatibility with other animals, the common thread we each found was that most of our families are composed of animals who purportedly do not get along.

I smiled inwardly at the wisdom of God. For where else do we learn to be human? Unfortunately, most of us tend to avoid the difficult relationships in our families, and years of baggage make reconciliation all that much harder.

We even find it impossible, to honour the spirit of the reunion dinner and subsequent CNY meals, where everyone sits at one table to "eat rice" companionably and joyously as one family.

When I reflect on the many traditions of the CNY festivities, it is not just about good fortune, prosperity, health, success and abundance in the new year. The Chinese New Year is also a time for gathering, renewing bonds, demonstrating filial piety, and of getting rid of the old and putting on the new - not just the material, but one's aspirations and desires.

It is about harmony, centred mainly on family harmony. It is about respecting your elders, getting along with your siblings and doting on your children. This harmony also extends to the wider circle of friends and acquaintances. Red packets with money are dispensed not just to children and singles, but to thank those who serve you in the year, wishing them well. (This includes and is not restricted to the garbage collectors and the road sweepers.)

Getting back to the dinner conversation, TR shared that her parents took pains to ensure she would not grow into the less desirable characteristics of her zodiac animal. Her parents did what good parents do; mould their children's characters so that they become adults who are giving, respectful, hardworking and humble. TR is all that, so her parents did good. Love you, TR, for all that you are.

As the CNY celebrations finally draw to a close, I give thanks for my family, the whole menagerie, who keep me grounded, and I thank TR for giving me new insight into my relations so that I can understand them a little better, liking and loving them a little more. 

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