It is New Year's Eve and I am home with a bum knee. All the physical setbacks I have faced this year have been a little frustrating and I feel the weight of my years (and fat) deep in my bones.
And yet, I end the year on an emotional high for I have written the children's book I have had gestating inside of me since February. It has taken 10 months but I am glad I could gift it to Jesus this Christmas, albeit a couple of days late.
I seem to be late for Christmas in other ways as well. The commercial blitz of Christmas consumerism has left me slightly disoriented for it is the antithesis of what Christmas is all about.
Plus the hustle and bustle of December has given me little time to reflect, which always results in my inability to connect well with people, myself, and Jesus.
Whenever I get busy with Martha-like doing, there is no bandwidth to be with people in a way that feeds both them and me. I end up physically whacked and spiritually empty.
Thus my Christmas spirit was lacking and lagging until I celebrated Midnight Mass which made me realize that He is born to be with us not just 2,000 years ago, but today, as I live and breathe. He is alive today.
The miracles that touched the crowds who followed Him continue to touch us, to touch me, today. He gives me sight. He heals me of my infirmities. He feeds me and keeps me in clover as well.
So why do I falter and stumble? Why do I not experience the joy I feel at Christmas all the time?
Why do I not always trust in the living Word, the true light that shines in the darkness as John describes the living Lord?
For me, it all comes down to the distraction of living in this world where busyness gets the better of me, and things not being within my control all the time. Like my knee that decided to bail on me for no apparent reason.
I am in pain. I am grouchy and tired. I lose heart. I get insecure. I feel ineffectual.
I realize I will never perfect the balance but there will be moments when I am living beatifically. Like now. Because I acted out my yes. Because I put aside my personal reservations and went with the flow of my heart's desire.
So all I have to keep doing is to lay my "heart-earned" gifts at His feet in humble adoration. In silence. In stillness.
Christmas may have come late this year but it is here to stay and can be mine throughout the year.
Venite adoremus
And yet, I end the year on an emotional high for I have written the children's book I have had gestating inside of me since February. It has taken 10 months but I am glad I could gift it to Jesus this Christmas, albeit a couple of days late.
I seem to be late for Christmas in other ways as well. The commercial blitz of Christmas consumerism has left me slightly disoriented for it is the antithesis of what Christmas is all about.
Plus the hustle and bustle of December has given me little time to reflect, which always results in my inability to connect well with people, myself, and Jesus.
Whenever I get busy with Martha-like doing, there is no bandwidth to be with people in a way that feeds both them and me. I end up physically whacked and spiritually empty.
Thus my Christmas spirit was lacking and lagging until I celebrated Midnight Mass which made me realize that He is born to be with us not just 2,000 years ago, but today, as I live and breathe. He is alive today.
The miracles that touched the crowds who followed Him continue to touch us, to touch me, today. He gives me sight. He heals me of my infirmities. He feeds me and keeps me in clover as well.
So why do I falter and stumble? Why do I not experience the joy I feel at Christmas all the time?
Why do I not always trust in the living Word, the true light that shines in the darkness as John describes the living Lord?
For me, it all comes down to the distraction of living in this world where busyness gets the better of me, and things not being within my control all the time. Like my knee that decided to bail on me for no apparent reason.
I am in pain. I am grouchy and tired. I lose heart. I get insecure. I feel ineffectual.
I realize I will never perfect the balance but there will be moments when I am living beatifically. Like now. Because I acted out my yes. Because I put aside my personal reservations and went with the flow of my heart's desire.
So all I have to keep doing is to lay my "heart-earned" gifts at His feet in humble adoration. In silence. In stillness.
No one, whether shepherd or wise man, can approach God here below except by kneeling before the manger at Bethlehem and adoring him hidden in the weakness of a new-born child.
- Catechism of the Catholic Church, 563
Christmas may have come late this year but it is here to stay and can be mine throughout the year.
Venite adoremus
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