In Theology of the Body, marriage is used as the icon that best exemplifies the kind of love God has for us and created us to experience in union with Him.
A love that is free, total, faithful and fruitful.
The idea of marital love is hard for many of us to grasp, especially those of us who are not in that state of life.
In the current W2W group of 14 women, only two are married. So how can the rest of us live out TOB?
Some of us have found it hard going in accepting this icon and applying TOB to our lives for our understanding of love and marriage is shaped very much by culture and tradition.
I initially thought that if I am not married I will not be able to live out the God-meaning of my body fully, that I am only able to be a self-donating gift to another in marriage.
While the example of marriage is supposed to best describe the strength and purity of love we are each called to receive and give, it does not mean that being single, I am unable to fulfil or experience this type of love.
It does not mean that I am doomed to an existence of loneliness and sexual frustration if I remain on my own.
What I have had to do in order to crack the conundrum of the spousal meaning of my body as a single woman is to understand the vocation of marriage differently.
That I am first called to an intimate, spousal relationship with the living God. To live out that free, total, faithful and fruitful relationship that Jesus Himself had with His Father.
It has meant flying in the face of popular thinking (not easy), that a woman needs a man to be delivered of loneliness and that it is better to be in a bad relationship than no relationship at all. Or being single is a sad and lonely existence.
Why else do women stick out abusive and dead-end relationships for years? Or value relationships with men who are not good for them?
I must admit I do fall into the trap of sometimes wanting the perfect Hollywood ending of woman gets hero and sails off into the sunset in his arms, but I know it's just a romanticized depiction of love that is more wishful than realistic.
Plus I have experienced the fruits of a close relationship with Jesus and it's been awesome.
I know I am deeply loved as a woman and that has built my self-confidence and given me a sound sense of identity.
My life has meaning because I am utilizing my gifts in ways that bring me great satisfaction and joy.
There is the coherence of truth and the beauty of integration in who I am.
All this because I've allowed myself to be loved and respected as the bride and sister of the Bridegroom in Song of Songs.
It is hard to surmount the cultural mores of society to embrace the true dignity of our identity as man or woman, as we were each uniquely created, but JPII's wisdom has helped me recognize it increasingly.
TOB may not be an easy message to internalize but once it happens, love follows and it all makes perfect sense.
A love that is free, total, faithful and fruitful.
The idea of marital love is hard for many of us to grasp, especially those of us who are not in that state of life.
In the current W2W group of 14 women, only two are married. So how can the rest of us live out TOB?
Some of us have found it hard going in accepting this icon and applying TOB to our lives for our understanding of love and marriage is shaped very much by culture and tradition.
I initially thought that if I am not married I will not be able to live out the God-meaning of my body fully, that I am only able to be a self-donating gift to another in marriage.
While the example of marriage is supposed to best describe the strength and purity of love we are each called to receive and give, it does not mean that being single, I am unable to fulfil or experience this type of love.
It does not mean that I am doomed to an existence of loneliness and sexual frustration if I remain on my own.
What I have had to do in order to crack the conundrum of the spousal meaning of my body as a single woman is to understand the vocation of marriage differently.
That I am first called to an intimate, spousal relationship with the living God. To live out that free, total, faithful and fruitful relationship that Jesus Himself had with His Father.
It has meant flying in the face of popular thinking (not easy), that a woman needs a man to be delivered of loneliness and that it is better to be in a bad relationship than no relationship at all. Or being single is a sad and lonely existence.
Why else do women stick out abusive and dead-end relationships for years? Or value relationships with men who are not good for them?
I must admit I do fall into the trap of sometimes wanting the perfect Hollywood ending of woman gets hero and sails off into the sunset in his arms, but I know it's just a romanticized depiction of love that is more wishful than realistic.
Plus I have experienced the fruits of a close relationship with Jesus and it's been awesome.
I know I am deeply loved as a woman and that has built my self-confidence and given me a sound sense of identity.
My life has meaning because I am utilizing my gifts in ways that bring me great satisfaction and joy.
There is the coherence of truth and the beauty of integration in who I am.
All this because I've allowed myself to be loved and respected as the bride and sister of the Bridegroom in Song of Songs.
It is hard to surmount the cultural mores of society to embrace the true dignity of our identity as man or woman, as we were each uniquely created, but JPII's wisdom has helped me recognize it increasingly.
TOB may not be an easy message to internalize but once it happens, love follows and it all makes perfect sense.
Love and marriage can be mine today and I do not have to wait by my window, waiting for my prince to come.
He is already here.
He is already here.
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