Voyage of hope

Baby bro called two weeks ago and we had a lovely long chat. As always, the conversation was an exchange of diverse and varied ideas as we shared our lives for we are such different people, travelling on such disparate paths.

It is our love for each other, a bond forged in childhood, which keeps our hearts open, struggling to understand at times, but mostly succeeding in demonstrating a love accepting of each other's opinions, beliefs and foibles.

My brother knows I love him deeply and I only desire to see him happy and fulfilled, becoming the man he was created to be: a good man who can rock this world. (Don't get me wrong, bro, I know you are doing good, but you were created to do spectacular things.)

So when we connect, as big sister, I like to challenge him to grow and to be a better man while he challenges me to be less insular, self-righteous or hidebound.

When I first established a living relationship with Jesus, I was passionate about "doing the right thing" and becoming a model Christian to show my love for Him.

On fire, I wanted everyone to experience what I had, that God's love is amazing and the highest of highs.

I was dismayed, especially when people I love, made choices that brought them further away from that experience or alienated themselves from the experience of enjoying God as loving Father.

I have since learnt that God's timing is perfect. His way is best and it is not for me to insist on what I think is right or best. Yes, it's that old Messianic/Pharisaic complex.

During my Seven Fountains retreat, I meditated on John 21:1-14 and it reminded me that, like the disciples who were in the boat, we are all making our way to Christ on the shore, whether we immediately recognize Him, then sit back to contemplate Him quietly; whether we jump into the water like Peter and swim toward Him with urgent excitement; or whether we make sure we secure our great catch before rowing to shore to meet Him.

It happened to be All Souls' Day that day and I was reflecting on life after death and what happened to the souls in purgatory. As if Fr. David read my thoughts, his homily answered my questions.

No one really knows what will happen when we die but it is clear that Jesus came to save everyone. Christianity is an all-inclusive religion, whether we believe implicitly or explicitly. So perhaps we will all eventually make our way back to Him, leaving hell and purgatory empty, cold places.

That said, this aspect of God's love and mercy does not give us license to dally or go with a less loving, selfish choice (most of us will not choose evil) just because we feel the world has more to offer us than God.

As we enter the season of Advent today, we are reminded by the readings to have hope but to also stay awake for we do not know when the end will come and we will be held accountable for what we did with our lives on earth.

Rather than focus on possible dire consequences, I like to focus on what choosing God and His ways means in the here and now (putting aside the issue of eternal life) for delay means denying ourselves the multiple blessings of an active and practised faith.

I honestly do not care if I go to heaven or hell. What I care about is cultivating this precious love relationship I have with Jesus.

This may involve choices that are difficult and seemingly foolish by today's standards.

It will certainly guarantee persecution, even from those we love.

And, we may possibly not see the rewards in this life.

So why do it?

Because true love is not easy to find and having found it, I am not about to throw it away. I am willing to sacrifice much for this relationship. Paradoxically, I have found that the more I give up, the more I gain as Jesus had pointed out to the rich young man who sought the key to eternal life.

Fr. Ignatius reminded me recently that Christians are called to be signs of contradiction in the world today. So we must not be afraid to speak up for love and truth as Jesus did, and to live it. To change the world by changing who we are, first of all.

My cousin A. says we cannot defy the "scourge of our forefathers" and we are unable to effect change. She forgets that all things are possible with God.

If we are clear about what is our mission in life, we can move mountains and change the landscape (internally and externally) if, like Jesus, we are in tune with the Father and His ways by keeping the communication lines wide open all the time.

As I give thanks for family and friends who are travelling with me on the boat of life, I pray that each one of us will experience the hope surrounding the birth of Emmanuel, God with us, in special and unique ways, and be the Christ child to those around us.