This frustrates me greatly for it put a brake on my bid this year to get some cardio work into my exercise programme, besides creating tense, overworked muscles on the entire left side of my body.
Then I finally went for all my check-ups and discovered that my fibroid has grown quite a bit in the last 15 months and an operation is highly recommended and in-your-face imminent.
I really didn't need the check-up to tell me that for I could sense the changes in my body and I knew something was not quite right. Although, the check-up does confirm what is the next step for me and it forces me to act.
This Holy Week past was made more meaningful for me as I catalogued my crosses and my losses, identifying with Christ's Passion, every painful step of the way from Gethsemane to Golgotha.
The over-riding message I got from living through the Stations of the Cross was that Jesus loves me beyond all my sins.
That no matter how far I have deviated from the path I was meant to take and no matter how irretrievable are both the time and opportunity lost to wrong choices in my life, Christ's never-changing, infinite and eternal love is not only sufficient but transformational.
Redemption is always close at hand; if we choose it.
As I acknowledged the pain of my losses, the pain of my frustrations, the pain of letting go of the past, the pain of my shortcomings and physical limitations, and the pain of my all too human nature, I was able to walk, stripped of all pretense, from darkness into light.
My bleak and unadorned grief gave way to naked, unadulterated joy as the power of the resurrection became real and relevant in my life this Easter morning.
While the coming weeks may not prove easy for me, I will hold fast to this joy that welled up, unbidden, from deep within and remember that Christ died and rose again for me - so all is not lost, even when it may seem that way.
He lives again. Today and every day.
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