Sunday, March 14, 2010

Life-giving choices

Recently it was Tiger Woods and now more recent and closer to home, Jack Neo. Men who previously had a squeaky clean, family man image, but have now revealed a side to their characters that is less than savoury.

Are they sorry? Of course, as they both stated publicly, but I wonder how much of the remorse comes from hurting a loved one, versus having been found out?

If they truly loved their wives and were committed to showing love in ways that conveyed spousal respect, then surely they would not have strayed in the first place?

Surely they would have better impulse control than a three-year-old and would be mature enough to know that there are consequences to actions?

Even Newton states in his third law of motion: Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.

What makes such people, especially of wealth, status and influence, think that they are impervious to laws (natural and man-made) that apply to every other human being?

Nothing, as Woods and now Neo, have found out, as have countless famous personalities and politicians who have trod the same road of sexual infidelity ahead of them.

However, we seem to live in a world where most of us rationalize our less than life-giving actions, thinking that as long as we don't get caught, or no one gets hurt, it's fine. Everything is cool.

Marry this attitude with an almost feral pursuit of pleasure and habitually giving in to the allure of instant gratification, and we are living with the consequences of an exponentially increasing number of broken marriages and homes, a rising number of addictions, and an ever-ballooning number of overweight people (read yesterday's The Straits Times report on obesity).

Let's get real. We all live in relationship with others and every decision we make impacts others, especially loved ones, whether directly or indirectly, immediately or eventually.

When we choose to be unfaithful, gorge our way to obesity and its attendant health problems, or engage in behaviour that is compulsive and extreme (be it shopping, drinking, gambling, gaming or working), we will, at some point, reap the negative effects of such behaviour, as will our family and friends, and ultimately society at large

Someone will get hurt. Someone will have to pay for it. Even if not patently obvious, if we sow in darkness, we will not reap fruit of goodness, righteousness and truth (Ephesians 5) in the long run.

Although we have the promise of eternal life, we are each given one life here on earth to live: to be loved and to love, to receive and to give, to be cared for and to care for, to weep and to laugh, and to make something of our lives. We get but one shot in life to make it work.

So we must decide on a value system and integrate this system in everything we do (even the bits we don't like), weaving in our own physical, emotional, spiritual and mental health in our efforts to make effective and enduring our choices and actions.

Don't waste time by being paralyzed by fear, sloth or apathy, or giving in to bitterness, unforgiveness, self-pity and fatalism. Instead, act out of love every single chance you get, and every single day.

Before you embark on an illicit liaison with someone you find attractive; before you indulge in a second helping of delicious artery-clogging fried food that compromises your health; before you allow work to keep you late in the office and stress you out so that you're a grouch at home; stop, think of where your priorities lie and do the loving thing. Not just for your loved ones, but for your own good as well.

As for me, I am finally taking responsibility for my health and going for my check-ups. I am also refraining from eating too much of foods that are not good for me, taking my supplements and exercising to get rid of extraneous weight.

Vanity thus far has not been a successful motivator, so perhaps love of family will be a better one.

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