Gifts of mystery

I cannot believe how incredibly fast the days have flown by. We are almost at the end of the Easter season.

It has truly been a season of new life for me - new ways of looking at and living out life which have presented real challenge lately.

For I found that I was spending more time feeling guilty about the things I had not been able to accomplish, things that I had wanted to do but had not physically or mentally been up to carrying out.

There are so many things on my to-do list, which seems to be growing longer faster than there are items scratched out from it.

I feel so out of control - one big disorganized mess and I am driving myself crazy, spiralling downward into complete chaos.

In the meantime, my body is protesting against my compulsive need to do everything, be everywhere at the same time and be all things to all people.

And so I have recently declared a sanity check and decided that I need to love myself a little more and affirm myself for being a good person. Go easy on myself.

Thus I have begun to look at the things I have accomplished, and which are usually dismissed as part and parcel of the daily grind of life and hence overlooked and unremarked.

Like how I cooked a delicious dinner tonight for Mum, my friend B. and myself and we had a good time. Everyone enjoyed the meal. The soup was rich in flavour, the mussel salad refreshingly piquant and the ginger chicken with mushroom was yummy.

So what if I didn't manage to mop the floor as I intended to today. I did sweep the floor. Yes, that deserves special mention.

During today's mass, Fr. Romeo remarked that we were given two gifts by God - one was love and the other was the Holy Spirit.

Love, not in the dreamy, romance novel kind of way, but a sacrificial act of love, and one that unleashes a redemptive force.

Just as Jesus' love for us was strong, concrete and dear, so too do we make His presence real in our lives when we act out of love.

The other gift that lives and moves deep within us is the Paraclete or the Holy Spirit. It vivifies and animates us, guiding us to engage others and life through action.

If we are Spirit-led, then we will receive the gifts and fruit of the Spirit, chief among which are wisdom, faithfulness, joy and peace, all great things to have.

Fr. Romeo called these two gifts mysterious for much as we try to wrap our brains around them, we can never understand them fully. We can only receive and appreciate, and in turn, give back.

If I rely on these two gifts, and the other gifts I have received as an individual to act in life, then I am good to go.

Go do what I can, on a daily basis, thanking the Creator for all things completed successfully and all things left unaccomplished.