Yet another birthday with you
Celebrating in heaven
Without us
Who remain behind.
In Singlish speak:
Why like that?
Sharing my faith journey
Is always bittersweet
For you are so inextricably
Vitally a part of my story.
You were the one He sent
To bring me back to Him.
Mired in shame
You pulled me up
Showed me the Way
His true intent for me.
Continue to keep me
In your prayers
Send me a kiss and a hug
As I send you one today.
Love you my dearest coz!
Yesterday marked one year since my mother-in-law went home to the Lord. P and I visited her niche at Saints Peter and Paul, where she now rests alongside her husband, and we prayed for her soul, committing her to Jesus with a prayer of thanksgiving. We also remembered her with a memorial mass. While praying for her, I was vastly encouraged by an image of her sitting in a garden with my father-in-law chatting and laughing together. It was comforting to know that they are reunited and at peace. Yes, I do believe that she is in eternal life now.
I can't say I had the privilege of knowing her, for by the time P and I met, she had advanced dementia. At the same time, I do know her through her children. I can see she was a woman who valued manners, was kind and generous, and who held family close to her heart. In fact, family meant everything to her, and I can see she sacrificed everything for her family in her own way, for each of her children carry these strong values into their lives now.
P is a strong reflection of both his parents, and they live on very much in him; for who he is today, is due, in no small part, to their upbringing, guidance and influence. He is a man who loves much, because, his parents, individually, and collectively, are people who loved much. When my father-in-law passed on, she went into depression and was depressed for many years for she pined for him. By all accounts, he was an indulgent and loving spouse, besides being a caring and affectionate father. Perhaps she was not as adept as he was at parenthood, but she did her best, and that is all anyone can ask for.
Thank you, Mummy, for bringing P up to be such a good and decent human being, a gentle and sweet man, principled yet inclusive, with a big heart for the poor. Continue to pray for us and guide us here on earth, until we meet in heaven.
May 1 - The entire day was spent in Assisi, a beautiful hill town in central Umbria. We visited all the places associated with Saints Francis and Clare and learned how these two saints were so generous with God, giving up everything (both came from wealthy and/or noble backgrounds) to embrace poverty in a very radical way. Both their lives were filled with a deep love for Christ and the poor, and both changed the worlds they lived in incredible ways.
Perhaps this quote by Saint Francis says it best: Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.
It was inspiring to walk the places they inhabited and learn how a single person can add so much meaning and colour to life by being passionate and true to the Lord single-mindedly and single-heartedly.
The treat of the day was a visit to the tomb of Blessed Carlo Acutis, whose canonisation mass was postponed due to the death of Pope Francis. I am inspired by this young soon-to-be saint who has been hailed the patron saint of the Internet for this millenial created a website documenting Eucharistic miracles around the world, using technology to spread the gospel. He died at 15 from leukaemia in 2006. His love of video games, like any typical teenager, has made him relatable to young people; and his vibrant faith makes him great role model for young and old alike.
May 2 - Yet another saint who changed her world with a forthright wisdom centred on Christ was Saint Catherine of Siena. Because of her, the Pope, Gregory XI, moved from Avignon to Rome and changed the papacy for the better. Despite being illiterate she is celebrated as a Doctor of the Church for her teachings and letters (taken down by scribes) hold great spiritual merit. The Pope also sent her on many missions as his envoy.
I was happy to visit her again, a decade later, in the Basilica of San Domenico and ask for her intercession. We finished off the day in Siena with mass at the Basilica of San Francesco which is home to a Eucharistic miracle.
A couple of hundred of consecrated communion hosts that were stolen and three days later discovered discarded in an alms box of the Church of Santa Maria in Provenzano. The consecrated hosts have remained intact, no sign of decay, ever since the theft which took place in 1730.
After mass we had the opportunity to worship in adoration which was a wonderful chance to sit quietly at the feet of our Lord and just be. My Lord, and my God, you are truly alive today and forever.
May 3 - We spent the day in Padua and it was a chance for me to pay respects to Saint Anthony and see his incorrupt tongue and voice box. I first came in 2015 for Saint Anthony is very special to me in many ways personally. His is one of the shortest from death to canonisation which took place in less than a year. For his renown as a preacher led to countless conversions and there were many accounts of miracles of healing attributed to him when he was alive. May those who have lost their faith, through his intercession, find their way again.
The bonus at day’s end was a chance to visit the Basilica of Santa Giustina where the tombs of Saint Luke and Saint Matthias reside. One was an evangelist who wrote a gospel honouring Mother Mary in a special way, while the other was one of the first 12 apostles of Christ. It was quite mind-boggling for me for these men either knew Christ or those who knew Him, and they were among His initial followers.
May 4 - It was a day of relaxation in Venice where we visited the tomb of Saint Mark whose body was stolen by the Venetians from Alexandria where he died. Here the evangelist who wrote the first gospel is greatly revered by the Venetians.
It was equally great wandering around the city and discovering relics of other saints in random churches, and offering prayers for family and friends there.
I especially enjoyed sitting under the leaf-covered trellis in the Royal Gardens, breathing in the intoxicating scent of Japanese Cheesewood or Mock Orange (pittosporum tobira). It was a lovely day, sunny yet breezy cool. A perfect day to sit and stop a while with P, my heart.
May 5 - And so we have arrived at the last day of our pilgrimage, and we were blessed with mass in a chapel in the Basilica of Saint Anthony (as we were two days ago). It was a thanksgiving mass for a pilgrimage filled with spiritual abundance: inspiring homilies, time for prayer and worship, good weather, speedy road travel, moving queues and the camaraderie of fellow pilgrims.
I was greatly impressed with the driving skills of Michele, our driver from Rome to Venice, the knowledge of our local tour guides, and I savoured every gelato along the way. Many thanks to Ivan Lui from Faith Tours who kept us, his wandering flock, safe and sound, and to Father Michael Lim who is so evangelical about catechetics and has a deep love for Mother Mary. Both men inspire me with their zeal for God expressed in different ways.
Ivan, in his habitual gentle and gracious way, offered us this pearl before we got to the airport: We all have two lives, the second one begins when we realize we only have one.
As we journey home to Singapore, I am grateful to have had so many real experiences of Jesus and Mother Mary, and I hope I will not lose the zeal to persevere in doing what’s right with a joyful heart, even in difficult times, and to live with integrity as have had all the saints I encountered in these last two weeks.
April 29 - “Ask anything in prayer and it will be answered” is the legend behind praying in the Santuary of Saint Michael the Archangel at Monte San’Angelo, the oldest western shrine dedicated to the Archangel Michael. Bearing in mind the answer could also be no or later, I offered up prayer for family, friends, ministry and community members, people who were sick or recently departed.
Prayer is what Mother Mary always advocates whenever she appears, and especially prayers for the world at large, so it has been much of what we have done, be it travelling on the tour bus or visiting shrines and basilicas filled with relics.
Prayer can change the future, our futures, if we let it infuse our hearts and natures such that we allow ourselves to be grafted more strongly on our Lord, growing in His image and likeness. This has been a strong recurring theme on this pilgrimage surrounded as I am by the myriad examples of saints who prayed unceasingly and changed the worlds they lived in. I, too, can change the world I live in, through constant prayer and being more Christ-like in behaviour.
I felt incredibly blessed that same afternoon to celebrate mass in the place where the communion host and wine transformed into flesh and blood in Lanciano in the 8th century. This Eucharistic miracle confirmed by medical science is a real example of what Catholics believe in: transubstantiation. Every mass or Eucharistic celebration is an opportunity to receive the true body of Christ and be strengthened by His real presence, and as Father Michael Lim puts it: to fully allow ourselves to be loved by the Lord. Every mass is a communion between us and the Risen Lord, something it is easy to forget or take for granted.
April 30 - Loreto is the ‘Lourdes’ of Italy and it is home to the house of Mother Mary, where she grew up and where the Annunciation took place. It is a place of miracles for the house, minus its fourth wall, was purportedly moved from Jerusalem to its final resting place in Loreto by angels.
While sceptics may disagree, the truth that moves me is how she courageously said yes to being the ark of the covenant, to being the mother of the incarnated Christ. If only my yeses can equal her in generosity, gentle submission and robust faith. We were also blessed to be able to celebrate mass in the place where Pope Benedict XVI himself celebrated mass twice. Loreto is indeed a place where pilgrims can find a resting place filled with peace and God’s grace. I felt nourished richly.
April 23 - It took 18 hours to get to Rome. On the 21st, we heard that the Holy Father had passed away early Monday morning. As I prepared for the pilgrimage, I felt out of sorts, not quite myself, although a part of me was eager to be able to pay my respects to someone I held in great esteem and affection. Tears streamed down my face unbidden when I first read the news of his death. Such a mix of emotions: sorrow, gratitude, deep respect and love for a man who heroically ignored his own ailments to be the voice of encouragement on Easter Sunday, his last gift to the world.
April 27 - Forty-four of us are on the way to Rotondo which is a five and a half hour bus ride. The last four days in Rome were filled with grace upon blessing despite the hive of activity - passing through the Holy Door of each of the four major basilicas, praying as we ascended the 28 steps of the Holy Stairs, paying our last respects to the late Pope Francis in St Perer’s and a little bit of sightseeing in the Vatican Museum and the city of Rome. It was surreal to be in Rome to see the large numbers of people who had gathered intentionally and unintentionally to say goodbye to the Holy Father. What was most heartening was to see the huge number of youth who had gathered for the canonisation mass of Blessed Carlo Acutis. May they be blessed even though the mass has been postponed due to the funeral on the 26th.
April 28 - San Giovanni Rotondo is a destination purely to experience the holiness and life of Saint Padre Pio. It was nice to take a breath, to be able to contemplate how God has blessed me and P on this pilgrimage. As we did the Way of the Cross it became clear that my mission, our collective mission, is to grow in holiness within our own families by forgiving, and caring for those people whom God has placed in our lives and bonded us in a special way. The people I need to treat best, giving generously of my time and effort are my family. Am I doing it? Yes, but I can certainly do much better.
Yesterday marked 100 months of marriage and I initially had great plans to celebrate the occasion with a romantic dinner à deux.
However, as events transpired we ended up celebrating the birthdays of my daughter N (I invariably take out the step for I consider her the daughter of my heart) and grandson J. It was fitting for the procreative nature of marriage gives rise to the beautiful multiplication of numbers crossing generations within a single family. I consider myself extremely blessed to be able to participate so fully in family life in my late vocation of wife and mother.
Sarah laughed in disbelief when she heard the stranger’s prophetic message that she would have a child (Genesis, chapter 18). There is still an element of disbelief on my part that I, too, could be “fruitful”, but mostly I laugh with delight at how full my cup is with P and my instant family.
I would like to remember this special day, filled with very ordinary things that made it extraordinary.
I awakened to the sound of my grandson’s voice, after which I quickly went downstairs to make breakfast pancakes for the grandkids. Then I dropped C off for her netball lesson before coming home to sit with J as he did worksheets and we did some coordination exercises before N came to pick him up.
P and I went for a quick breakfast before I drove to church to join the meeting of all liturgical ministries participating in Holy Week as well as the lectors’ meeting that followed after.
When I got home, P and I had to go pick up J’s birthday cake which I had ordered earlier in the week. He wanted a Cookies n Cream (his fave) ice cream cake as he didn’t like cake cake.
We brought the cake home then got ready for pickle ball in the sweltering heat. It was an indoor court but. boy, did we sweat buckets.
After an hour of play we got home, showered , and soon it was time to go pick dinner up. It was raining by then but I prayed A’s good weather prayer and truly the rain lightened considerably when we had to cart the food to the car, and when we got home.
Then it was dinner time which was a lovely evening of good food and family bonding. I had made a tiramisu for N’s birthday cake (her fave), so there was the obligatory celebratory sugar overload.
P and I were both pooped after our long and busy day. But we ended it with our consecration prayer to Mary which we repeat every 12th of the month, invoking the memory of the day we first did our consecration to our Mother on our wedding day.
It is late, and I have to proclaim the Word at Palm Sunday mass in several hours’ time, so I shall end here. Thank you, Lord, for the last 100 months of blessings and I look forward to the next 100 with great anticipation and pleasure.
