Thursday, March 05, 2015

Here I am

Last Sunday's first reading of the testing of Abraham inspires me to be a little more like Abraham, especially this Lenten season.

Here is a man who has remained steadfast and true to God his entire life despite major setbacks. First, he endured the curse of a childless marriage. Then, just when he should be taking things easy and enjoying life, he is asked to pack up and go to a new land on a ridiculous promise of abundance: descendants as countless as the stars in the sky or the grains of sand on the seashore. But he goes.

He is finally blessed with one son, Isaac. Okay, so God appears to be making good on His promise. Just as he luxuriates in the blessings of fatherhood God does a number on him. Offer his son as a sacrifice back to God. So what happened to the countless descendants if Isaac dies? Both he and Sarah are well into their 90s, is another miracle birth probable?

I like how Abraham responded. Here I am. How often do I say that to God?  To present myself fully in one heart, mind and body; to be attentive, open and obedient.

What great effort did it cost Abraham to follow God's instructions to the T, yet he did so seemingly without flinching. Here I am. Ready to slit Isaac's throat even as his own heart must've been breaking. As the reflection from Laudate pronounced:

Abraham is the father of faith because he put his hope in the promises of God. Faith makes us taste in advance the light of God's glory when we shall see him face to face.

Through the eyes of faith Abraham recognized God and God's call on his life. He saw from afar not only what God intended for him, but for his descendants as well - an everlasting covenant of friendship and peace with the living God.

Abraham could see beyond his impending grievous loss, to see past his own humans wants and needs out of his deep love for God. He was willing to die to self in the present to be able to see God face to face in the future.

Even though I share the same conviction of eternal life as Abraham does, and a similar deep love and reverence for God, I am not sure I can be as biddable as he was. And yet, I do desire to have a faith as unshakeable as his was.

What do I need to do to nurture such a vigorous and lively faith? It took Abraham a lifetime of regular, constant prayer, and a life engaged actively in good works to attain his high level of faith. Out of his habitual obedience he could hear God's whispers clearly and say in a heartbeat: Here I am. I am yours.

I hope to make this Lent a springboard to aligning my will to God's as much as Abraham's was. This requires me to stay awake spiritually so that I can be as attentive as Abraham  was. The reflection from Laudate put it across best:

How much do we miss of God's glory and action because we are asleep spiritually?  There are many things which can keep our minds asleep to the things of God: Mental lethargy and the "unexamined life" can keep us from thinking things through and facing our doubts and questions. The life of ease can also hinder us from considering the challenging or disturbing demands of Christ.  Prejudice can make us blind to something new the Lord may have for us. Even sorrow can be a block until we can see past it to the glory of God. 

I thank God for the robust and constant faith of Abraham, a true inspiration during this season of Lent. Here I am, Lord. I am yours.

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