It has been a very challenging season these past six months. Not only for me, but for the people around me, people I know and some I love. For it has been a season of great change, mostly of loss, be it loss of health, loss of financial security, loss of equilibrium, loss of family unity or loss of a loved one.
It has made for emotionally charged moments, deep grief, agonizing pain, great stress and dark, rainy days, some of it my own, some of it in felt empathy with others.
Through all this I have been asking how is life questioning me? What do challenges tell me about myself in the way I react to them? How do I see myself? And, how do I see God in the ensuing chaos and drama?
Attending the retreat, Who am I?, with Bea and Derek Chong last weekend, I was reminded again of how self-awareness is key to leading my life unbowed by difficulties, unafraid to continue dreaming, then going forward boldly to attain my dreams.
What alters the way I dream and perceive life (I am still more negative than positive, drats) are blockages such as apathy, guilt, failure, self-hatred, self-pity, insecurity, inferiority, depression and sadness, these prevent me from maximizing my own potential, from being great.
I can lose track of who I am and what I really want out of life. I can also shrink from making myself known to others, for fear of being judged and found lacking, and ultimately rejected.
Therefore I can shy away from connecting with others, isolating myself, and often end up believing the distortions and lies my fears spin, until I get lost in a web of shame and self-hatred that imprisons and suffocates me.
It is all too easy to get sucked down into a whirlpool of negativity when strong winds shake the foundations of my being and I no longer see God as the loving Father I know He is, and I fail to see myself as He sees me, beloved.
Derek shared a way* that we can use to overcome our own blockages, especially when things are not all hunky-dory:
1) Examine an event that has happened recently and identify the emotion(s) that arose from this. How do you feel?
2) In the case of an undesired event and negative feelings, look for a similar event that may have happened in your past. Who was God to you then and has this event dictated how you behave now?
3) If necessary, give yourself space to grieve and question God. Let Him enter into that situation and bring healing. Who is God to you now? How do you feel? Do you know it is not real if you experience a God who is not loving, caring, merciful and compassionate?
4) Who are you to God? What would God say to you? What is the truth of who you are that God is dying to reveal to you, just as Jesus died to share this truth?
5) Take all this into prayer, thanking God in your own way. Take time to celebrate your insights.
6) It is also good to record your insights in a journal, and share your revelations with people you trust. When you share your struggles, you realize that they are not as big as you thought they were and this injects needed perspective.
Fundamentally, we all want to be known to others. This validates us in a very profound manner for God Himself, whom we are made in the image and likeness of, wants to be known to us. Every day He waits for us to get to know Him more and in so doing, to know ourselves more as well.
I cannot change my history, the circumstances of my life and the wrong choices I have made. I cannot prevent change, loss or suffering from touching my life, nor should I, for life will be fluid and even messy when I choose to participate fully in it, this includes immersing myself in the lives of the people around me, and in the causes that speak to my heart.
Loss is part of life and the more I engage with others, the higher the probability and frequency of loss. This may mean more tears and more pain, commiserating with others and getting directly involved in their lives, but I will not desist.
As I discovered last weekend, this need to see others happy and healthy, assisting them to become the best that they can be, is part of who I am, and I believe, part of who we all are as human beings.
* Using this to identify good things in our lives and how we feel helps us connect with God and concretize His goodness in our lives. It helps us give thanks appropriately - always a good thing.
It has made for emotionally charged moments, deep grief, agonizing pain, great stress and dark, rainy days, some of it my own, some of it in felt empathy with others.
Through all this I have been asking how is life questioning me? What do challenges tell me about myself in the way I react to them? How do I see myself? And, how do I see God in the ensuing chaos and drama?
Attending the retreat, Who am I?, with Bea and Derek Chong last weekend, I was reminded again of how self-awareness is key to leading my life unbowed by difficulties, unafraid to continue dreaming, then going forward boldly to attain my dreams.
What alters the way I dream and perceive life (I am still more negative than positive, drats) are blockages such as apathy, guilt, failure, self-hatred, self-pity, insecurity, inferiority, depression and sadness, these prevent me from maximizing my own potential, from being great.
I can lose track of who I am and what I really want out of life. I can also shrink from making myself known to others, for fear of being judged and found lacking, and ultimately rejected.
Therefore I can shy away from connecting with others, isolating myself, and often end up believing the distortions and lies my fears spin, until I get lost in a web of shame and self-hatred that imprisons and suffocates me.
It is all too easy to get sucked down into a whirlpool of negativity when strong winds shake the foundations of my being and I no longer see God as the loving Father I know He is, and I fail to see myself as He sees me, beloved.
Derek shared a way* that we can use to overcome our own blockages, especially when things are not all hunky-dory:
1) Examine an event that has happened recently and identify the emotion(s) that arose from this. How do you feel?
2) In the case of an undesired event and negative feelings, look for a similar event that may have happened in your past. Who was God to you then and has this event dictated how you behave now?
3) If necessary, give yourself space to grieve and question God. Let Him enter into that situation and bring healing. Who is God to you now? How do you feel? Do you know it is not real if you experience a God who is not loving, caring, merciful and compassionate?
4) Who are you to God? What would God say to you? What is the truth of who you are that God is dying to reveal to you, just as Jesus died to share this truth?
5) Take all this into prayer, thanking God in your own way. Take time to celebrate your insights.
6) It is also good to record your insights in a journal, and share your revelations with people you trust. When you share your struggles, you realize that they are not as big as you thought they were and this injects needed perspective.
Fundamentally, we all want to be known to others. This validates us in a very profound manner for God Himself, whom we are made in the image and likeness of, wants to be known to us. Every day He waits for us to get to know Him more and in so doing, to know ourselves more as well.
I cannot change my history, the circumstances of my life and the wrong choices I have made. I cannot prevent change, loss or suffering from touching my life, nor should I, for life will be fluid and even messy when I choose to participate fully in it, this includes immersing myself in the lives of the people around me, and in the causes that speak to my heart.
Loss is part of life and the more I engage with others, the higher the probability and frequency of loss. This may mean more tears and more pain, commiserating with others and getting directly involved in their lives, but I will not desist.
As I discovered last weekend, this need to see others happy and healthy, assisting them to become the best that they can be, is part of who I am, and I believe, part of who we all are as human beings.
* Using this to identify good things in our lives and how we feel helps us connect with God and concretize His goodness in our lives. It helps us give thanks appropriately - always a good thing.
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