Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Joining the race

I had lunch with D yesterday and we were talking about whether it was better to be a disciple of Christ earlier or later in life.

She shared that making the decision to follow Jesus early on in life was tough. Keeping the faith was no easy thing and as Paul exhorts in Timothy, it is a race, a marathon, we are running. We may flag but we cannot stop running this good race, arduous and excruciating as it may become at certain segments of the run.

I completely agree with her about discipleship being a touch calling. It does get exhausting, being good, doing the right and better thing all the time, especially when we are surrounded by people who do not, and we have to defend our choices at times.

If only we can play hooky on certain days and be "normal", even though the state of normal may not exactly be the best or most judicious choice. In theory, playing hooky looks attractive but in practice, I am always left feeling a little empty while doing the right thing always makes me feel better even if it was a fight getting there

So here is where life-giving communities, constant prayer and receiving the Sacraments regularly are vital.

The sense of belonging and camaraderie in our communities help us realize that we are not alone in our struggles, and that we have a pool of cheerleaders to give us moral support and help us grow in our spiritual walk.

Together with the supernatural support we avail ourselves of, the race becomes one that is not only endorphin driven and pleasurable, but it also makes us stronger.

Some people think that it is better to delay coming back to God. That one should enjoy the pleasures of the world before one makes that deathbed choice to say please forgive me now because I want to come back to you and therefore get to experience eternal life, a have your cake and eat it situation. They could not be further from the truth.

Apart from the fact they may not get a chance to make that last minute decision, the longer and further they stay away from God, the more they allow sin to permeate their lives.

No one starts out willing to be bad, and as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You may think you can change at will, but after a while, your will is no longer yours to command and worse, you may no longer be able to differentiate between good and bad choices as time goes by.

I actually bemoan the fact that I began the race much later in life and that I had wasted so many years before I got to know Jesus and love Him in a way that has changed my life radically.

All those years seeking for love and happiness when it was within my reach at all times, if I had but taken hold of the Lord's outstretched hand. All those years of misguided efforts that brought so much pain and deep loneliness.

Yes, as D pointed out, living a life made up of hedonistic choices, had its moments of immense pleasure and joy, but it also involved furloughs in massive depression and bouts of low self-worth.

There was an emptiness within that nothing could fill: partying, drinking and lust-driven activities were but quick fixes that left you craving for more.

Freedom is gone when one is a slave to one's addictions and the dictates of one's restless and fearful heart.

Thus I am very grateful and glad to be a follower of Christ, albeit a late one, for I would not exchange the peace I have since discovered and claimed for anything in the world. I know who I am and there is a sense of clear purpose to my life that centres me and makes my life achingly beautiful.

I choose God and His ways for being good feels really good. Plus, I enjoy the moral simplicity and freedom I have, and an inner tranquillity that even bad times cannot destroy. Best of all, I feel much loved, every single day.

No, life is not perfect, there are moments of great struggle still, but the good outweighs the bad. And when I get discouraged, I know that if I keep my eyes on Him, all will be well. As Azariah prayed in the furnace (in the book of Daniel):

Bring to fruition the quest of those who follow you,
for those who trust in you can never be confounded.
And now we follow you with all our heart
and we revere you and seek your face.

And this is how we finish the race, whether we join in early or late.

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