While reflecting on what were my deepest desires, I came across one I've sort of placed in a box and shelved for it is hard to make relevant in my single state of life: the desire for marriage and motherhood.
This desire is one I grapple with most, in terms of understanding and living out. I vacillate between frozen cluelessness and relying completely on God to unravel the mystery; to not lean on my human understanding but on His alone.
I was inspired last week by a speech Pope Benedict XVI made where he said every person is created "so that he may enter into dialogue with the Infinite," and "the aching desire for this dialogue remains in man, like a signature imprinted with fire in his soul and body by the Creator himself."
Pope Ben noted that this longing is not only in the human soul, but "even every fiber of my flesh is made to find its peace, its fulfillment in God. And this tension cannot be erased from man’s heart: even when he rejects or denies God, the thirst for the infinite that abides in man does not disappear."
I find what he says to be true and I also see my desire for marriage and motherhood as inextricably tied up with this yearning for the Infinite, the need to be in deep communion and intimacy with God.
Therefore if I live my life as vocation, gathering up all the desires of my heart placed within me by God, and offering them up as an act of faith, trusting that "God has" my "happiness at heart", then I am able to expand my vision and view my deepest desire as extremely relevant in my journey.
I need only to say and act out my yes to make this desire lodged deep within a living reality, one that touches the minds and hearts of those I meet.
Pope Ben put it best.
Everything... every relationship, every joy, as well as every difficulty, finds its ultimate meaning in being an opportunity for a relationship with the Infinite, a voice of God that continually calls to us and invites us to lift our gaze, to find the complete fulfillment of our humanity in belonging to Him.
I may never get married and I most definitely will not bear a child, but I can take this desire for marriage and motherhood and instead of living tragically with unconsummated desires, I can live with the gratitude and joy of a woman so loved that she cannot help but radiate this love to the world.
And there are days I think I succeed very well in making this desire tangible. Especially when I follow Mary's lead, the impossible can but come to fruition.
This desire is one I grapple with most, in terms of understanding and living out. I vacillate between frozen cluelessness and relying completely on God to unravel the mystery; to not lean on my human understanding but on His alone.
I was inspired last week by a speech Pope Benedict XVI made where he said every person is created "so that he may enter into dialogue with the Infinite," and "the aching desire for this dialogue remains in man, like a signature imprinted with fire in his soul and body by the Creator himself."
Pope Ben noted that this longing is not only in the human soul, but "even every fiber of my flesh is made to find its peace, its fulfillment in God. And this tension cannot be erased from man’s heart: even when he rejects or denies God, the thirst for the infinite that abides in man does not disappear."
I find what he says to be true and I also see my desire for marriage and motherhood as inextricably tied up with this yearning for the Infinite, the need to be in deep communion and intimacy with God.
Therefore if I live my life as vocation, gathering up all the desires of my heart placed within me by God, and offering them up as an act of faith, trusting that "God has" my "happiness at heart", then I am able to expand my vision and view my deepest desire as extremely relevant in my journey.
I need only to say and act out my yes to make this desire lodged deep within a living reality, one that touches the minds and hearts of those I meet.
Pope Ben put it best.
Everything... every relationship, every joy, as well as every difficulty, finds its ultimate meaning in being an opportunity for a relationship with the Infinite, a voice of God that continually calls to us and invites us to lift our gaze, to find the complete fulfillment of our humanity in belonging to Him.
I may never get married and I most definitely will not bear a child, but I can take this desire for marriage and motherhood and instead of living tragically with unconsummated desires, I can live with the gratitude and joy of a woman so loved that she cannot help but radiate this love to the world.
And there are days I think I succeed very well in making this desire tangible. Especially when I follow Mary's lead, the impossible can but come to fruition.
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