I was asked by N if I thought it was fine for her to befriend a married man whom she had gotten to know recently. I said no because from what she told me, he was attracted to her. Verboten.
N countered that all she wanted was someone to talk to for she had no friends and it wasn't romance she was after and maybe he was just a really nice guy who was not interested in her so wouldn't it be okay to be friends?
My only response to that was I wouldn't do it if I were you but it is your life and you must choose what you feel is best for you for what else can I say in the face of such determined rationalization?
N is lonely, I get it for I get lonely too, but I also know that the pain of walking away from something so appealing is definitely less catastrophic in the long run and will bring me inner peace, self-empowerment and even happiness.
Nothing is headier and more ego-boosting then meeting a decent-looking, seemingly nice bloke who is into you and goes out of his way to be sweet to you.
Nothing is more desirable when one is single and could do with some attentive TLC but some relationships are just not meant to be and if we listened to our inner voice of reason we know that to be true.
Loneliness does not excuse foolishness or foolhardiness.
What's even worse if we first step down the slippery slope of compromise, we will skitter off the road of truth until we tumble into confusion and lose our way completely.
So what's a girl to do if her heart yearns for love? Stay close to the source. Go mystic. Get an interior life.
It is that simple. Truths often are simple, it's just that as human beings, we tend to complicate our lives when we are lured by the bright lights of temptation.
If you google interior life, Wikipedia will tell you it's a life that seeks God in everything; you have a prayer life that is transformational because it is personal.
Getting to know Jesus up close and personal has truly been the most life-changing relationship in my life for it has allowed me to seek the way that has led to truth and life.
Of course once I discovered the truth, I had to live it out in order to internalize it. Jesus was my guide but He also gave me freedom of choice every step of the journey for He knew that the call to follow Him is not an easy one.
It has involved unpleasant decisions at times, sacrifice and even loss. Purging my life of lies and deception meant following the rules, many I resented and did not understand but hoped that would somehow lead me further to the truth.
When things got tough, I would pray WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) and the Spirit would lead me to God-inspired action.
As I entered the state of purification which unfortunately is not a one-off deal but one which requires constant effort, I developed the spiritual muscle of virtue. I gained wisdom, hope, love, courage, humility and a faith that sought understanding and achieved it.
From the purgative to the illuminative, it was like coming out of a squall to calm seas. As I lived truth more and more in my life, I could feel the goodness of Trinitarian love resonating in my veins and it felt wonderful for I began to struggle less and less as I began to become unconsciously competent at being a sexually honest woman.
Blessed John Paul II wrote Values are lights that illuminate our existence and, as we work on our lives, they shine ever more brightly on the horizon.* The values-turned-virtues I had gained helped light my way and continue to do so.
I was, and am, finally privy to the secrets of freedom and happiness for from the purgative and illuminative ways, I entered the unitive way, "when the soul experiences a special union with God"*.
The more I find God in everything and learn "to commune with him in and through all things"*, the more I experience the "depth and breadth and height"** of the love He has for me and the more He is revealed to me as "Father, Redeemer, and Spouse"*.
When I am lonely, hurt, upset or fearful, I know all I need do is to go inside and turn to Him. He will blow gently a loving and healing breath on my badly scraped knee and make it all better. Every time.
He is my man for all seasons for no other man compares to Him.
* From John Paul II's book Memory and Identity, quoted in the Prologue of Christopher West's Heaven's Song
** Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnet 43 How do I Love Thee
N countered that all she wanted was someone to talk to for she had no friends and it wasn't romance she was after and maybe he was just a really nice guy who was not interested in her so wouldn't it be okay to be friends?
My only response to that was I wouldn't do it if I were you but it is your life and you must choose what you feel is best for you for what else can I say in the face of such determined rationalization?
N is lonely, I get it for I get lonely too, but I also know that the pain of walking away from something so appealing is definitely less catastrophic in the long run and will bring me inner peace, self-empowerment and even happiness.
Nothing is headier and more ego-boosting then meeting a decent-looking, seemingly nice bloke who is into you and goes out of his way to be sweet to you.
Nothing is more desirable when one is single and could do with some attentive TLC but some relationships are just not meant to be and if we listened to our inner voice of reason we know that to be true.
Loneliness does not excuse foolishness or foolhardiness.
What's even worse if we first step down the slippery slope of compromise, we will skitter off the road of truth until we tumble into confusion and lose our way completely.
So what's a girl to do if her heart yearns for love? Stay close to the source. Go mystic. Get an interior life.
It is that simple. Truths often are simple, it's just that as human beings, we tend to complicate our lives when we are lured by the bright lights of temptation.
If you google interior life, Wikipedia will tell you it's a life that seeks God in everything; you have a prayer life that is transformational because it is personal.
Getting to know Jesus up close and personal has truly been the most life-changing relationship in my life for it has allowed me to seek the way that has led to truth and life.
Of course once I discovered the truth, I had to live it out in order to internalize it. Jesus was my guide but He also gave me freedom of choice every step of the journey for He knew that the call to follow Him is not an easy one.
It has involved unpleasant decisions at times, sacrifice and even loss. Purging my life of lies and deception meant following the rules, many I resented and did not understand but hoped that would somehow lead me further to the truth.
When things got tough, I would pray WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) and the Spirit would lead me to God-inspired action.
As I entered the state of purification which unfortunately is not a one-off deal but one which requires constant effort, I developed the spiritual muscle of virtue. I gained wisdom, hope, love, courage, humility and a faith that sought understanding and achieved it.
From the purgative to the illuminative, it was like coming out of a squall to calm seas. As I lived truth more and more in my life, I could feel the goodness of Trinitarian love resonating in my veins and it felt wonderful for I began to struggle less and less as I began to become unconsciously competent at being a sexually honest woman.
Blessed John Paul II wrote Values are lights that illuminate our existence and, as we work on our lives, they shine ever more brightly on the horizon.* The values-turned-virtues I had gained helped light my way and continue to do so.
I was, and am, finally privy to the secrets of freedom and happiness for from the purgative and illuminative ways, I entered the unitive way, "when the soul experiences a special union with God"*.
The more I find God in everything and learn "to commune with him in and through all things"*, the more I experience the "depth and breadth and height"** of the love He has for me and the more He is revealed to me as "Father, Redeemer, and Spouse"*.
When I am lonely, hurt, upset or fearful, I know all I need do is to go inside and turn to Him. He will blow gently a loving and healing breath on my badly scraped knee and make it all better. Every time.
He is my man for all seasons for no other man compares to Him.
* From John Paul II's book Memory and Identity, quoted in the Prologue of Christopher West's Heaven's Song
** Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnet 43 How do I Love Thee
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