Beloved always

We left Fatima last Saturday after spending two and a half days there on our own. It was a much needed rest and spiritual break where I could just be with Jesus and His mother, and focus on the message of Fatima - of repentance and prayer.  

Every morning P and I  traced the path Francisco, Jacinta and Lucia took every day from their homes in Aljustrel to Cova da Iria, where they pastured their sheep (and it marks the site of the last apparition and the miracle of the spinning sun).

We did the Stations of the Cross surrounded by groves of olive trees and along the way we stopped by Loca do Anjo where the angel of peace appeared to the three children twice. 

We also stopped by Valinhos where Our Lady appeared to them a fourth time on 19 August 1917. 

In Aljustrel itself, a small hamlet, we visited the houses where the three children lived and also the well where the angel of Portugal appeared to them.

And, of course, we went for mass in the Chaoel of Apparitions daily, prayed in the new and old minor basilicas, and visited the sanctuary museums.

The highlight for me was being able to participate in the candlelit procession within the sanctuary complex nightly with thousands of other believers.  It is during such moments where I truly felt that prayer transforms the world and I was part of this intercessory effort.

After the last mass before our departure (I gatecrashed a group of Indonesian pilgrims having private mass) as the English mass didn’t materialise as scheduled) I felt my heart sing, full of joy and peace. My spiritual cup was full. I felt blessed and loved by the Lord and His mother. 

No matter what life throws at me, I know that these experiences of deep intimacy and grace will be with me forever, like how I know, in a very real way, I am His beloved daughter till I die, and beyond. 

Return to Fatima

We are back in Fatima after our short and unsatisfactory first visit a couple of years ago. 

This time we arrived yesterday at mid-day and we could immerse ourselves in prayer with  mass, praying the rosary twice and finishing it off with the nightly candlelit procession in the square. We of course took time to visit the sights around the shrine, the religious art and artefacts, the highlight being the crown which holds the bullet removed from Saint John Paul II after the attempted assassination. 

Although I pray the rosary on my own every day, I have to say these communal rosaries are a source of light and blessing on their own. The sight of thousands of candles lifted higher in unison as we sang Ave Maria brings me hope for a better tomorrow and a confidence that we, humans, can fix our own messes if we lift our hearts in prayer. 

I am grateful for this time of grace, and I look forward to the next two days as P and I attempt to walk closer with Jesus and Mary in this sacred space.

Bringing God into the world

You bring God into the world through prayer - that was the simple yet profound pearl of wisdom my SD offered me last Friday when I visited him. 

We were catching up on life as usual, and I was sharing on how I facilitated a session on allowing God to guide us to the neophytes and parishioners during a recent retreat at Blessed Sacrament Church. 

Discernment has been something I have been preoccupied with ever since I experienced conversion twenty-two years ago and I have experimented with all forms of prayer, going through seasons of richness and dryness along the way. One thing, however, has remained constant in my life, and that is the desire to do His will in all things. 

Prayer is the only way, really. Not that the Spirit doesn’t guide us when we are on the move and in the midst of life’s busyness. The moment we say to Him my life is yours, I want to do Your will, then He honours it by guiding and protecting us, every waking moment (and even as we sleep).

Of course this fiat must come with a certain disposition of heart, that we remain open and obedient, and that we lead lives nourished spiritually by the Word of God, the sacraments and the traditions of the Church DAILY. We must be pure in mind and heart, avoiding sin at every turn. 

This is the first part of bringing God into the world through prayer, where we first allow ourselves to be transformed through our worship. The second part involves our active participation, where we live and breathe the holiness of the Trinity in our words and actions. 

This latter part is where the rubber meets the road, and we must make every effort to ensure we are on the right track (pardon the pun) - to be holy, as Jesus was, to be fully engaged in the lives of others, bringing healing peace and joy. 

My talk took inspiration from Nicky Gumbel’s Alpha course, as well as Peter Kreeft’s article on discernment. What I found most useful was this from Kreeft*: 

All God's signs should line up, by a kind of trigonometry. There are at least seven such signs: (1) Scripture, (2) church teaching, (3) human reason (which God created), (4) the appropriate situation, or circumstances (which he controls by his providence), (5) conscience, our innate sense of right and wrong, (6) our individual personal bent or desire or instincts, and (7) prayer. Test your choice by holding it up before God's face. If one of these seven voices says no, don't do it. If none say no, do it.

This cocktail of spiritual and conventional wisdom, stirred by the Holy Spirit through prayer and right Christian living helps bring clarity and sound action. Kreeft’s pragmatic approach really speaks to me. Know what God wants, know what Jesus would do, then do what I want (taking into consideration who I am and where I am currently), guided firmly by the Holy Spirit.

Certainly we will make mistakes along the way, and we may not always attain the desired level of clarity, or worse, we may be finding it hard going along a previously discerned path and get disheartened, and yet, in all this, if God is our True North, then He will always bring us back onto the “right” route. 

I must say I am always amazed by God’s ingenuity at problem-solving, and I am always grateful for how He provides so abundantly through the people He has put into my life, and how He responds so tenderly to me and my needs, big and small. 

* https://www.peterkreeft.com/topics/discernment.htm