God is in the detail

I managed to pass my Pilates practical exam yesterday and I am over the beautiful haze-enhanced moon (we have been having a haze problem in Southeast Asia). I was initially berating myself for forgetting a couple of things (unforgivable to me) but my mother put it into perspective for me with a simple Be satisfied! She was right, of course, given that I have been panicked and jittery this last month and practically had a meltdown early afternoon before my exam.

It's not that I cannot teach but having to remember exercise flowcharts are the worst thing on earth for the unstructured me who also happens to suffer from perimenopausal brain cloud.

How was I going to plan and teach a holistic programme specifically designed for a "client" I will meet for the first time, using these charts and also keep track of the requisite number of exercises I had to teach on seven pieces of equipment, using multiple props?

As recent as last Friday's practice session, I thought I was doomed. When I complained to J that the devil was in the detail, she corrected me by saying God is in the detail.

With that she reminded me that any task worth doing is one that requires single-minded devotion. It also highlighted to me how God has literally taken care of me these last weeks, down to the most minute detail.

First, I had enough work the previous month so that my skeletal work schedule this month did not adversely affect my bank account. Then He took care of my study schedule by providing me with time to study: clients just disappeared on vacation and for any number of reasons, all of which I happily accepted.

He found me a study mate, sent me a bunch of cheerleaders and even provided a place to practise in peace. Then He sent me personal messages of encouragement through the Divine Office and the lectionary daily.

Most significant has been my ability not to give in to a real and deep despair and give up completely. I have been assailed with immense fear every day for the last month. A spirit of overpowering negativity has shrouded this entire endeavour.

However, I have refused to give in to it and have instead left it all on the Lord's doorstep as I pressed on grimly with the task at hand. I prayed through the self-doubt, the apprehension, and even the nightmares that portended failure.

I have been buoyed by the prayers of all my friends and relatives as I shamelessly asked them all to pray for me. I thank all of them for every prayer has helped me through this crazy period.

That my memory kicked in at the right times is nothing short of miraculous. That my programming was sound (earning praise even) is due in no small part to the wisdom of the Spirit (I wisely put thought into devising one after mass on Sunday).

I feel like a classic case of biblical hyperbole where women beyond childbearing years were blessed with children as Elizabeth who bore Saint John the Baptist was, whose Nativity we incidentally celebrated yesterday.

The reading from Jeremiah was especially for me:

In the days of King Josiah, the word of the LORD came to me, saying:

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I dedicated you,
a prophet to the nations I appointed you.

“Ah, Lord GOD!” I said,
“I know not how to speak; I am too young.”
But the LORD answered me,
Say not, “I am too young.”
To whomever I send you, you shall go;
whatever I command you, you shall speak.
Have no fear before them,
because I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD.

Then the LORD extended his hand and touched my mouth, saying,

See, I place my words in your mouth!

That was, for me, a benediction and kept me from a massive pre-exam anxiety attack. There was so much adrenaline in my system that I developed a tension headache post-exam and could not sleep last night despite downing beer, that was how consumed by fear I was.

I now have my theory paper to sit for this coming Sunday and while it is another test of my memory, it is not as formidable as the practical. I will continue to do my part these remaining days and I want to praise God for His planning.

C'est vrai, le bon Dieu est dans le detail!

Loving in the now

Travelling on the train yesterday, I overheard a group of young teenaged boys talking about what they gave their fathers for Father’s Day and I was mildly amused.

"He likes coffee, so anything coffee-related is good."  "My dad likes chocolate so I got him some." "Mine likes to smoke so I got him cigarettes." Hmmm...

While I did go visit my father in the columbarium to wish him and thank him, and tell him I missed him, I don’t believe in just setting aside one day in the year to be grateful to my parents, for it should be an everyday affair when it comes to honouring and showing gratitude to parents, living and deceased.

I am a student of the ordinary, of quotidian rhythms that can get tiresome for it is easy to impress with the big gestures: spend lavishly in gift-giving and go out to a fancy restaurant for a meal.

What is not so easy is to give time and constant effort to caring for loved ones, especially when so many other things seem more important.

Saint Paul said this to the Corinthians:

Behold, now is a very acceptable time
behold, now is the day of salvation.
We cause no one to stumble in anything,
in order that no fault may be found with our ministry;
on the contrary, in everything we commend ourselves
as ministers of God, through much endurance,
in afflictions, hardships, constraints,
beatings, imprisonments, riots,
labors, vigils, fasts;
by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness,
in the Holy Spirit, in unfeigned love, in truthful speech,
in the power of God;
with weapons of righteousness at the right and at the left;
through glory and dishonor, insult and praise.

Based on the above advice, living in the here and now is paramount: to live purely, wisely, patiently and kindly in the present, regardless of one’s circumstances.

Saint Thérèse  of Lisieux believed in The Little Way, in showing commitment even in the most mundane of tasks, and acting lovingly to all she met on a daily basis (even those who were not loving towards her). She was a humble, young woman who understood how to live out the now with an attentive mindfulness of God’s abundant love.  

In a day, there are many opportunities to show those around us that we care, especially our parents who are often forgotten when more pressing matters require our immediate attention.  

Now that Father’s Day and Mother’s Day have passed, let us not forget that every day can be a day for thanking our parents in little ways that can mean a lot.

Do it now.  

Change for the good

I was gifted this morning with a dream that was so real that upon waking, I had to ask myself if she were still alive for it felt as if she was. The she is my late paternal grandmother, a woman who was an integral part of my formative years.

Mama was a woman who was at once charming, loving and slightly poisonous. She could be the most giving and nurturing person, a genuinely good woman, but her philosophy of divide and conquer brought a spirit of disunity into the family.

I was fortunate I was mostly able to sieve out the lies and half truths from the truths and navigate my way safely through her minefield of gibes, taunts and manipulative manoeuvrings.

Despite her flaws, deep as they were, I am proud and glad that she was my grandmother, for from her, I learned how to be nurturing, generous, kind, strong, courageous, loyal, practical, pragmatic and capable. I also learned to cook from her, and to appreciate what good food is (in my dream, we were eating a delicious lunch together).

Conversely, other lessons I drew from her include decisions I made at an early age not to be manipulative, mean and a total bxxxx for I hated it when she exhibited less than sterling qualities.

Unlike soap operas, there are no true archetypes in real life. We are a mix of good and bad, capable of being villainous and heroic at the same time.

As A said to me last Sunday, "Jesus still has a lot to work in me." We will always be works in progress, but the question is whether we recognize our flaws and weaknesses and are motivated to do something positive with them.

If we want to see change, then we need to open ourselves to being corrected and moulded by Jesus. To be teachable requires receptivity and in order to receive, we must first ask. So an inner movement of the heart is necessary.

Perseverance is also needed for the first step to change is always hardest and we may be tempted to give up. We must be humble enough to lean on Jesus and constantly seek His counsel and comfort.

As the Prophet Isaiah enumerates, He is our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. He is definitely my go to guy.

I may sound a little simplistic in advocating that one turns to supernatural means to change in ways that psychologists may say are nigh impossible, but with God, all things are truly possible.

Having received His graces, all I can say is change, real change, can be a daily reality. As long as we will what is good and we submit that will to His will, nature and nurture are not insurmountable.

How else can you explain drug addicts* who can go cold turkey with no withdrawal symptoms and then turn their backs on a life of crime?

I feel good I could take Mama out like I did in the past this morning for I do miss her. Reflecting further on my dream, I am reminded that in life, there is no turning back, and although I may be as flawed as Mama was, I can take where I come from and transform the mix that is uniquely me into something more good than bad (with a little help, of course).

* Read Jackie Pullinger's amazing story in Chasing the Dragon.

Editing the past

While searching for an important document, I stumbled across a package of love letters and keepsakes from a past relationship. Two things surprised me. One was the powerful surge of emotion that flooded me such that my heart literally ached for the past, the me and him in happier times.

The other was that I had forgotten how meticulously I had documented the progress of the relationship, through journalling and our correspondence through the years. Being sentimental to the nth degree, I had saved everything.

The ginger flower he picked and tucked into my hair, the perfect pine cone we found on a forest walk together, the fun drawings we created one night at dinner, silly little things that meant a great deal to me then, linked as they were to memories of tender moments in time. 

I cannot deny feeling a little bereft, and yet, I have no regrets walking away from something that was no longer working as both of us wanted different things in life. I wanted marriage and he, ultimately, did not. It was the wisest choice and yet the wisest choice is often never the easiest choice.

We are still friends with much affection for each other for in our walk to discover if marriage was for us, I had sought to do what God willed, so when it became clear that this was not the man chosen by God for me, it was a no-brainer to say goodbye. Extremely painful, but it was all very civilized.

Marriage is something I wonder about academically from time to time but as today’s reflection by Don Schwager pointed out, the marriage decision is not something we should take into our own hands. Rather we should “seek the kingdom of God rather than a mate”, we should “seek to spend ourselves in His service and in trust allow Him to bring our future spouse into our lives in His time."

This is something I believe in wholeheartedly hence I am grateful that I am not beset with fears of being single the rest of my life. Neither do I seek out the company of men in desperation, and try to be someone I am not in order to get me a man.

Of course there are times it would be real nice to be cuddled by a pair of masculine arms, but I do not want for love, or laughter, or joy, in my current state of life.

Plus there are much worse things than being single even if the world decries chaste singlehood as unnatural and tragic.

Better single than stuck in an abusive or co-dependent relationship. Better chaste than riddled with an incurable sexually transmitted disease. Better alone than lonely or bored in a relationship.  

As for the past, it is time for me to let it go completely. I am no longer that needy, scared and confused woman who did not know exactly what she wanted in life. I have Jesus to thank for that and I am ever grateful. 

 

 

Corpus Christi musings

I am encouraged that we had a global Holy Hour of prayer today to celebrate the Feast of Corpus Christi, although I was too tired to join in. We could all do with more prayer, especially for our youth.

In a brief chat this evening with one of my godsons, it is clear that he is less than enchanted with Catholicism. And in a recent conversation with one of the junior lectors in my parish, she questioned why the Church was so unaccepting of homosexuals when the new commandment given to us by Jesus is to love others. (I had to go into my love the sinner, hate the act spiel.)

Where and how do I begin to explain to young people these very questions I asked myself when I was their age? Even as I attempted to respond to their questions, I could only end by inviting them to discover the truths for themselves, as I have done so, and to pray that they will not be satisfied with superficial answers as they each seek for truth in their young lives.

One of the news stories I found alarming last week was the one of a 25 year old father who stuck his six week old daughter into a freezer for an hour so that he could sleep, leaving her to freeze for an hour with a broken arm and leg.

What was frightening was not just the act itself, but that he did not think he did anything wrong at all. She would not stop crying and he was tired. Was it that he could not see anything inherently wrong in that act, or was it just a case of not being able to admit to an enormous mistake?

It is hard for young people who are weaned on the dogma of moral relativism to reconcile the absolutes of Church dogma, especially when it goes head to head with what is perceived as personal freedom in society today with regards to issues like premarital sex, contraception, abortion, divorce homosexuality, same sex marriage and surrogate pregnancy.

All that the Church teaches about these issues goes back to one fundamental truth that teaches respect for the dignity of every human person based on natural law. Unfortunately the truth about the dignity of the human person is often obscured by the pursuit of personal happiness that breeds behaviour that is more self-serving than giving.

Therefore the truth does not seem very appetizing or palatable. In fact, objective truth can be hard and unyielding. But if one persists in trying to understand it, instead of just walking away, its inner beauty and wisdom will be revealed. It takes a consistent commitment to the truth over time, and our own lived experiences to unfold.

But when we choose to subjectify and rationalize truth that it is not difficult to arrive at truths the young father in Tacoma, Washington did: his personal comfort was of utmost importance and therefore justified an act of cruelty.

Perhaps he did not intend to leave his baby in there for an hour, perhaps he only wanted to punish her bad behaviour for a moment, but no matter how you cut it, the objective truth is that one does not treat an infant in such a selfish and thoughtless manner.

In his homily celebrating Corpus Christi, Pope Francis spoke about a solidarity that comes from trusting the Lord with our humble abilities by sharing and giving them to others, for it is only if we go beyond ourselves will we experience the miracle of multiplication of the five loaves and two fish in our lives, "that our lives will be fecund, will bear fruit". He reminded us:

Jesus speaks in silence in the mystery of the Eucharist and each time reminds us that following him means coming out of ourselves and making our life not our own, but a gift to him and to the others...The Eucharist is the sacrament of communion, which brings us out from individualism to live together our journey in His footsteps, our faith in Him.

So when we avail ourselves of this sacrament of communion, we will experience "the “solidarity of God” with man, a solidarity that never runs out, a solidarity that never ceases to amaze us". He added:

The Lord in the Eucharist makes us follow His path, that of service, of sharing, of giving – and what little we have, what little we are, if shared, becomes wealth, because the power of God, which is that of love, descends into our poverty to transform it.

As I celebrate the truth and beauty of God's love, I give thanks for the breaking of Christ's body as bread for me today. May this truth of His self-giving love touch the world and touch the hearts of the young people around me. I can only pray that it does.

Discipleship, communion and sharing. Let us pray that participation in the Eucharist move us always to follow the Lord every day, to be instruments of communion, to share with Him and with our neighbor who we are. Then our lives will be truly fruitful. Amen.    

Battling our demons

Knuckling down to study for my exam (yes, this time I am finally going to take it having set an exam date of June 20) has been an uphill battle.

First excuse (a valid one) was work, and the inability to find the time and energy to hit the books. Then I was just unable to focus, being easily distracted, under the weather... I grew increasingly frustrated with myself and was beginning to feel the weight of the looming exam date.

So I began praying in earnest, and specifically, for diligence, focus and perseverance. Knowing my weaknesses, and knowing that I cannot do it alone has been key. In asking for help through prayer, I have been able to surmount the road blocks of sloth and lack of time (my schedule has magically cleared). Prayer has become my secret weapon in my exam prep.

Now, why, you may ask, did I not begin sooner? I guess I thought I could do it on my own. For I thought that an awareness of my weaknesses/bad habits was sufficient to fight against them. I have to admit I also thought it kinda lame to ask God for help in studying, like some wimpy kid.

Ah yes, we have hit upon my personal demons, the ones that tell me I am worthless, not worthy of being loved (or helped) and just not good enough for anything. I can never be perfect, being so unremarkably mediocre, so why try? They just floor me and leave me snivelling in the dust, too defeated to get up and try again. I go into a foetal freeze and stay there.

As I told E earlier this week, words I should seriously consider myself, God does not require us to be perfect, we just have to be sincere (a humble, contrite heart you will not spurn) and try our best. And that is perfection enough for God, for His power is made perfect in our weakness.

If we stumble and fall, that is all par for the course. Thomas Edison rightly said, "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to try just one more time." Thus we should simply get up and start walking forward.

I came across another great quote, by Robert Louis Stevenson:

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.

We are so conditioned to measure success in real, material terms, that when tangible results are lacking, we think we have failed, and we give up, abandoning course. We forget that success in God's eyes requires just one thing: it requires heart. Purity of heart. Veracity of heart.

Today's reading from Romans, chapter five, says it all for me:

"...we can boast about our sufferings. These sufferings bring patience, as we know, and patience brings perseverance, and perseverance brings hope, and this hope is not deceptive, because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts by the Holy Spirit which has been given us."

What we find lacking in ourselves, what we most seek in life can be found in God's love - this is the truth of our Trinitarian God*. Out of love, He gave us His Son, and the Holy Spirit. So with the help of our Father, Son and Holy Spirit, all demons can be vanquished.

Pray for help. And as A, a bold prayer warrior, would advise, be specific. Now back to studying.

* Today we celebrate the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity.

Pentecostal leanings

If someone were to ask me how do I know for sure that God exists, I would say I know God exists not just because I feel it in my bones, but because of this living relationship I have with His Advocate, the Holy Spirit.

This gift of faith is not merely a gift I received in Baptism because my parents loved me enough to want me to be a child of God; it is also a gift I have chosen to unwrap and utilize, thereby growing it with each passing day.

I do this by living in God's presence with heart, mind and spirit constantly, by being obedient to the movement of His Spirit who lives within me.

Obedience is tough for once we reach adulthood, we prize independence to the fatal exclusion of humility and receptivity. We fail to realize that true independence comes from knowing and doing the Father's will.

Odd as that may sound, when we decide to do things His way, we are freed from our fears, shortcomings and dysfunctions for we operate from a place that is actually most true to ourselves and has the greatest integrity. It is also the seat of our deepest desire and where the Holy Spirit reigns. 

Through the Spirit, we are given the wisdom to know what is right, the courage, compassion and generosity to do what is right and the fortitude to see our actions through, despite failure, discouragement and even persecution.

Such strong alignment with God's Spirit requires a careful cultivation of a relationship not unlike that of a spouse or a BFF. I am glad that in spite of my woefully minimal prayer life currently, I can claim a fairly decent relationship still.  

This Pentecost has been an extra special one, for apart from celebrating the birthday of the Church, I rejoiced in how central a figure the Holy Spirit has been in my life and consequently, how much I am loving my life and what I do for I truly feel I am precisely where I should be, following His lead.

I asked for a renewal of my spiritual gifts, as well as a couple of new ones (A reminded me to ask for the spiritual gifts I sought the night before), and I felt that I would be granted what I had asked for. 

As we* gathered for a luncheon celebration and to pray for each other this Pentecost, the Spirit spoke strongly to each of us, giving us an indication of what lies in store for each of us. It was a wonderful afternoon of feasting and sharing lives.     

The cherry on the cake were the multiple celebrations yesterday: Singapore's new Archbishop Monsignor William Goh, the 10th anniversary of ICPE Mission Singapore and the 11th anniversary of ICPE Mission's Pontifical Recognition. Plus today, we celebrate the arrival of C and M's gorgeous baby girl, Anna, who is a child that has been "set aside for God".

As we move back into Ordinary Time, let us not forget our Pentecostal beginnings and pay homage to it every day. Live life in the Spirit.

* Friends of ICPE Mission Singapore, Institute for World Evangelisation. We are a group of Catholics who are journeying to become a community of Companions, lay missionaries who are doing God's work wherever we are situated in life. 

God

This was a writing exercise we did last Friday:

What would I say to someone I love, who doesn't know God the way I do? How would I share my faith? What would I say to make this person understand the depth and breadth of my love for Christ and why I follow him? Words are insufficient to describe the ineffability, mystery and majesty of God. Yet, words are all I have.

He is the reason my life is decadently rich

For he makes me roll with laughter,

Sigh softly in wonder and purr with contentment.

With him, life is a journey of unplanned surprises,

Sometimes scary, even fiendishly difficult,

But no one said believing would be a breeze,

Or how incredibly awesome it can be.

If they did, I would not have listened anyway.

 

I am a child again when he winks at me,

Vibrating with excitement and glee.

We ride the surf and swoop like eagles

In azure skies lit with sunbeams gold.

In his arms I feel beautiful, good and strong,

I can even change the world: create an Eden

Humming with new life and fecund hope,

Where no one is ever hungry, lonely or afraid.

 

He's my best friend, my mentor, my paladin.

That rare mix of tender parent and consummate lover.

Call me blessed among women for I am that,

As that pearl of love is forever mine.

Its luminous glow untouched by time or circumstance,

Anointed as it was with sacrificial blood.

Together we traipse, hearts and minds in union,

He is my Lord and my God, most beloved.

The write stuff

The W2W Ministry is covering spiritual gifts this Easter season and we talked about spiritual writing last Friday.

Writing, be it prose, poetry or songs, can be a spiritual practice, especially when we do it to praise and glorify the one who endowed us with this facility for written language in the first place. 

We just have to look at the Bible as an example of the written word that is profound, beautiful, inspiring, challenging and most of all, an intimate love story of humanity's relationship with God.

Although the Bible, a collection of 73 books, was written by a number of writers through various ages for different  communities, they were all inspired by the Divine. The Bible therefore is considered the Word of God.

Taking inspiration from the Divine, we can, likewise, write our own psalms, laments, letters and songs. We can write to communicate to others just who is God in our, and their, lives, and in sharing our inner thoughts, we may perhaps touch others and become instruments that transform lives.

So not all of us are called to be writers. And yet, we can each still write. If we are serious about growing in our faith journey, then keeping a spiritual journal will allow us to see more clearly how God is working in our life, what are our desires, named and yet to be discovered, and whether we are staying true to our values. Spiritual journalling can also help us map our personal growth and reveal to us our weaknesses and fears.

My journal is my place of refuge, where I can be truly myself in front of God. When I write, I can pour out my woes, my shame and my gratitude to Him. My journal becomes my voice of truth to myself just as it is my messy, sometimes incoherent but heartfelt love letter to God.

While there is no right way to journal, I like to use the readings of the day as my starting point in my reflection time and see how Scripture speaks to me in a personal way on any given day.

Faith is not just theology, doctrine or principles that guide one's life, faith is first and foremost, an intimate relationship with God, God who is living and who engages with us all the time.

Journalling through Scripture, I get to dialogue with God even as I get to know Him and His ways more and more. It also prevents my journalling from becoming one long, boring monologue.

One other way I like to journal is to write down all the things I am grateful (and not so grateful) for in a day as it allows me to see the miracles of the day and where God was actually standing by my side. Plus this also helps me stay grateful and practise the art of gratitude.

When I feel moody or down, I use the Feel it, Own it and Express it to see why I am feeling a particular way and to dig a little deeper to see what could be the underlying cause so that I have a better understanding of myself as I take it into prayer. It sure beats psychoanalysis.

How often should one journal? If not every day, then at least once a week, although, I find that a week is too long to remember everything that has happened to me.

Journals are like Pensieves in Harry Potter's world, where we can review our memories and thus be able to "spot patterns and links". If we do not write down our epiphanies, our moments, we lose the ability to review them and thus lose the opportunity to mine the past to enrich our present and future.

Mostly, we lose the chance to know how good God has been to us as the memory fades and the moment gets forgotten. So if you do not want to forget it, write it down.

Body good

I have been abusing my body with insufficient sleep and a general lack of care due to work and pure indulgence, and it has been biting back. Seriously.
 
Here I was, wondering how a friend could be pre-diabetic and not take full and immediate action to reverse this potentially serious condition when she still could, when I was equally guilty of gross neglect.
 
What is it that drives people to feed our bodies with junk, treat our bodies shabbily with no exercise and very little sleep, then pump our bodies with loads of chemicals to relieve us of the symptoms that actually tell us all is not well within?
 
Convenience and stress are the twin evils of modern living. We often take the path of least resistance to obtaining "good" health it by popping pills.
 
We go on fad diets to lose weight and we are content to lose the mobility of our limbs as long as we look good - who cares how we feel inside?
 
Even pain does not motivate a change for there is always a pill to handle the pain.
 
Fortunately, vanity and an abhorrence of medication are my aides. Hence, I have begun to be more selective with what I put in my body. I even sleep earlier and I have begun to exercise regularly.
 
It is not as if taking care of my health is rocket science, but finding the willpower to do the necessary is often the biggest obstacle. It took feeling like a 102 before I decided to be more responsible for me and my body.
 

In the Catechism of the Catholic Church, it states: 

The human body shares in the dignity of "the image of God": it is a human body precisely because it is animated by a spiritual soul, and it is the whole human person that is intended to become, in the body of Christ, a temple of the Spirit.

Man, though made of body and soul, is a unity. Through his very bodily condition he sums up in himself the elements of the material world. Through him they are thus brought to their highest perfection and can raise their voice in praise freely given to the Creator. For this reason man may not despise his bodily life. Rather he is obliged to regard his body as good and to hold it in honor since God has created it and will raise it up on the last day.

My body and my soul are one, inseparable. If I wish to praise and reverence God to the best of my ability, then I am obliged to honour my body and keep it in the pink of health.

 

Time to stretch and get ready for bed.

Living out Easter

I find the Eastertide readings difficult. Although they speak of burgeoning faith among individuals and communities, as well as miracle upon miracle, there is great persecution and many new believers are put to death for their faith in the resurrected Lord.

And yet, despite the grimness of the readings, they speak of joy even in the face of death: the joy of an intimate encounter with Christ, the grace of living and moving in the Spirit, and the hope of eternal life that sustains us in the midst of suffering.

The shock waves from the two bombs that went off during the Boston Marathon almost two weeks ago are still reverberating around the world. As I grieve for those wounded so heinously by the two pressure cooker bombs that exploded metal pellets and nails into the surrounding crowd killing and permanently maiming them, I also pray that this act of hatred does not ripple into hate crimes and acts of retaliation against family members of the bombers, and people of who share their ethnicity, culture or religion.

Instead of allowing anger to destroy or divide us, we must construct a new way of life, one that recognizes our shared humanity and breaks downs fences of prejudice and fear in order for us to dialogue and find a common ground where we can share our collective lives.

Violence on the scale of the Boston Marathon bombings hurts not just those who were present, friends and families of those injured or killed, the friends, family and community of the Tsarnaev brothers, but it is a hurt perpetrated against the city of Boston, the North American continent and indeed, the whole world.

Such violence changes all of us. We become more fearful, more inward looking, and more mistrustful, judgemental against people who are different, not like us. Hatred has just received a huge power boost, keeping it alive in the world. This is a grievous crime against humanity.

The only way forward is to live out the Easter message of forgiveness as lived out by Christ's early disciples (much like Stephen who forgave those who were stoning him to death). To combat hate, we each need to be messengers of transformation through peaceful and loving means.

Instead of merely hunting down the roots of dissidence and eradicating them, we need to seek ways to ensure every young person on the planet grows up with a sound moral compass to guide him or her through life. The surviving suspect is just 19, we need to ask ourselves what motivates a 19 year old to commit such horrific violence?

We need to reach out to our youth, the marginalized, the disenfranchised and the abused, and look for ways to integrate them into society, to hear and acknowledge them, giving dignity to them.

What about our children? Born and unborn, they are the most vulnerable and the greatest at risk group, victims of adult selfishness, perversion and neglect. Abortions born out of irresponsibility. Online child predators, molesters and rapists (of five year olds no less, truly abominable). Parents who exploit their own children, objectifying them for selfish purposes (think child beauty pageants).

Do we care if our children, our youth, know the difference between right and wrong? Do we worry that they are so filled with hurt, anger, hate or indifference, not knowing how to love, how to be kind and generous?

We should, for they will be running the world one day when we are old and feeble. If we wish to leave behind a worthwhile legacy for our children, we must invest in their emotional and spiritual welfare. We must help them become men and women of integrity and hope.

Every adult needs to teach every child we meet the virtues of honour, honesty, generosity, diligence, patience, tolerance, compassion, courage, self-control and humility. We need to give them faith and hope in humanity by teaching them to be fully human, to love one another as Christ has loved us as it preaches in today's Gospel passage.

We can each start, leading by example. Be more patient with people who are old, slow or seemingly stupid.

Be more forgiving of those who are brusquely rude, insult or wrong you, and just generally push all the wrong buttons.

Be more empathetic towards those you dislike and even find hateful. 

Be more hospitable to strangers. 

Be more giving, kind and compassionate to those who need understanding or help.

Be more honest in your dealings with others instead of only seeking to score one for the home team.   

Going one step further, do you take the Gospel message of service seriously, even when you know you are going to be repaid poorly, ridiculed and even discriminated against? Or do you hug all that you have been given, focusing instead on building your own little stronghold of like-minded clones?

Every human being deserves to be loved and accepted, to be able to grow in freedom to be the man and woman he or she was created to be. When circumstances do not foster loving affirmation, when families are fragmented and no longer safe, nurturing and enlightening environments for youth to develop, we are all in danger of becoming narcissistic, voracious takers who thrive on malice, darkness and lust.

We become less and less human in our self-imposed isolation as we live in worlds of alternative realities. Without moral bearings, we easily become bombers, serial killers, Sandy Hook-like shooters who mow down the most innocent of beings.

As we approach the end of the Easter season, we are reminded that this world we live in can be a new creation, one as intended by God, despite the darkness that surrounds us.

So even if we are persecuted for living out what we believe to be true, good and beautiful as Christians, we should still forge ahead for Christ is always with us, and the promise of a new heaven and a new earth is ours.

And even if the world clamours for blood to bring about justice, we must ask for a different manner of justice, one that tempers it with mercy and love.

Let us cultivate the spiritual gifts that have been given to us in baptism and confirmation and be more apostolic, prophetic, evangelistic so that we can bring to world healing, mercy, wisdom, knowledge, encouragement, faith, and most of all, miracles.

Good has triumphed over evil in the miracle of Christ's resurrection, thus good can triumph over evils such as the Boston Marathon bombing.

Let us each make it our duty to effect miracles that celebrate the Easter spirit. 

Live Easter. 

Joining the race

I had lunch with D yesterday and we were talking about whether it was better to be a disciple of Christ earlier or later in life.

She shared that making the decision to follow Jesus early on in life was tough. Keeping the faith was no easy thing and as Paul exhorts in Timothy, it is a race, a marathon, we are running. We may flag but we cannot stop running this good race, arduous and excruciating as it may become at certain segments of the run.

I completely agree with her about discipleship being a touch calling. It does get exhausting, being good, doing the right and better thing all the time, especially when we are surrounded by people who do not, and we have to defend our choices at times.

If only we can play hooky on certain days and be "normal", even though the state of normal may not exactly be the best or most judicious choice. In theory, playing hooky looks attractive but in practice, I am always left feeling a little empty while doing the right thing always makes me feel better even if it was a fight getting there

So here is where life-giving communities, constant prayer and receiving the Sacraments regularly are vital.

The sense of belonging and camaraderie in our communities help us realize that we are not alone in our struggles, and that we have a pool of cheerleaders to give us moral support and help us grow in our spiritual walk.

Together with the supernatural support we avail ourselves of, the race becomes one that is not only endorphin driven and pleasurable, but it also makes us stronger.

Some people think that it is better to delay coming back to God. That one should enjoy the pleasures of the world before one makes that deathbed choice to say please forgive me now because I want to come back to you and therefore get to experience eternal life, a have your cake and eat it situation. They could not be further from the truth.

Apart from the fact they may not get a chance to make that last minute decision, the longer and further they stay away from God, the more they allow sin to permeate their lives.

No one starts out willing to be bad, and as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. You may think you can change at will, but after a while, your will is no longer yours to command and worse, you may no longer be able to differentiate between good and bad choices as time goes by.

I actually bemoan the fact that I began the race much later in life and that I had wasted so many years before I got to know Jesus and love Him in a way that has changed my life radically.

All those years seeking for love and happiness when it was within my reach at all times, if I had but taken hold of the Lord's outstretched hand. All those years of misguided efforts that brought so much pain and deep loneliness.

Yes, as D pointed out, living a life made up of hedonistic choices, had its moments of immense pleasure and joy, but it also involved furloughs in massive depression and bouts of low self-worth.

There was an emptiness within that nothing could fill: partying, drinking and lust-driven activities were but quick fixes that left you craving for more.

Freedom is gone when one is a slave to one's addictions and the dictates of one's restless and fearful heart.

Thus I am very grateful and glad to be a follower of Christ, albeit a late one, for I would not exchange the peace I have since discovered and claimed for anything in the world. I know who I am and there is a sense of clear purpose to my life that centres me and makes my life achingly beautiful.

I choose God and His ways for being good feels really good. Plus, I enjoy the moral simplicity and freedom I have, and an inner tranquillity that even bad times cannot destroy. Best of all, I feel much loved, every single day.

No, life is not perfect, there are moments of great struggle still, but the good outweighs the bad. And when I get discouraged, I know that if I keep my eyes on Him, all will be well. As Azariah prayed in the furnace (in the book of Daniel):

Bring to fruition the quest of those who follow you,
for those who trust in you can never be confounded.
And now we follow you with all our heart
and we revere you and seek your face.

And this is how we finish the race, whether we join in early or late.