I was gifted this morning with a dream that was so real that upon waking, I had to ask myself if she were still alive for it felt as if she was. The she is my late paternal grandmother, a woman who was an integral part of my formative years.
Mama was a woman who was at once charming, loving and slightly poisonous. She could be the most giving and nurturing person, a genuinely good woman, but her philosophy of divide and conquer brought a spirit of disunity into the family.
I was fortunate I was mostly able to sieve out the lies and half truths from the truths and navigate my way safely through her minefield of gibes, taunts and manipulative manoeuvrings.
Despite her flaws, deep as they were, I am proud and glad that she was my grandmother, for from her, I learned how to be nurturing, generous, kind, strong, courageous, loyal, practical, pragmatic and capable. I also learned to cook from her, and to appreciate what good food is (in my dream, we were eating a delicious lunch together).
Conversely, other lessons I drew from her include decisions I made at an early age not to be manipulative, mean and a total bxxxx for I hated it when she exhibited less than sterling qualities.
Unlike soap operas, there are no true archetypes in real life. We are a mix of good and bad, capable of being villainous and heroic at the same time.
As A said to me last Sunday, "Jesus still has a lot to work in me." We will always be works in progress, but the question is whether we recognize our flaws and weaknesses and are motivated to do something positive with them.
If we want to see change, then we need to open ourselves to being corrected and moulded by Jesus. To be teachable requires receptivity and in order to receive, we must first ask. So an inner movement of the heart is necessary.
Perseverance is also needed for the first step to change is always hardest and we may be tempted to give up. We must be humble enough to lean on Jesus and constantly seek His counsel and comfort.
As the Prophet Isaiah enumerates, He is our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. He is definitely my go to guy.
I may sound a little simplistic in advocating that one turns to supernatural means to change in ways that psychologists may say are nigh impossible, but with God, all things are truly possible.
Having received His graces, all I can say is change, real change, can be a daily reality. As long as we will what is good and we submit that will to His will, nature and nurture are not insurmountable.
How else can you explain drug addicts* who can go cold turkey with no withdrawal symptoms and then turn their backs on a life of crime?
I feel good I could take Mama out like I did in the past this morning for I do miss her. Reflecting further on my dream, I am reminded that in life, there is no turning back, and although I may be as flawed as Mama was, I can take where I come from and transform the mix that is uniquely me into something more good than bad (with a little help, of course).
* Read Jackie Pullinger's amazing story in Chasing the Dragon.
Mama was a woman who was at once charming, loving and slightly poisonous. She could be the most giving and nurturing person, a genuinely good woman, but her philosophy of divide and conquer brought a spirit of disunity into the family.
I was fortunate I was mostly able to sieve out the lies and half truths from the truths and navigate my way safely through her minefield of gibes, taunts and manipulative manoeuvrings.
Despite her flaws, deep as they were, I am proud and glad that she was my grandmother, for from her, I learned how to be nurturing, generous, kind, strong, courageous, loyal, practical, pragmatic and capable. I also learned to cook from her, and to appreciate what good food is (in my dream, we were eating a delicious lunch together).
Conversely, other lessons I drew from her include decisions I made at an early age not to be manipulative, mean and a total bxxxx for I hated it when she exhibited less than sterling qualities.
Unlike soap operas, there are no true archetypes in real life. We are a mix of good and bad, capable of being villainous and heroic at the same time.
As A said to me last Sunday, "Jesus still has a lot to work in me." We will always be works in progress, but the question is whether we recognize our flaws and weaknesses and are motivated to do something positive with them.
If we want to see change, then we need to open ourselves to being corrected and moulded by Jesus. To be teachable requires receptivity and in order to receive, we must first ask. So an inner movement of the heart is necessary.
Perseverance is also needed for the first step to change is always hardest and we may be tempted to give up. We must be humble enough to lean on Jesus and constantly seek His counsel and comfort.
As the Prophet Isaiah enumerates, He is our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. He is definitely my go to guy.
I may sound a little simplistic in advocating that one turns to supernatural means to change in ways that psychologists may say are nigh impossible, but with God, all things are truly possible.
Having received His graces, all I can say is change, real change, can be a daily reality. As long as we will what is good and we submit that will to His will, nature and nurture are not insurmountable.
How else can you explain drug addicts* who can go cold turkey with no withdrawal symptoms and then turn their backs on a life of crime?
I feel good I could take Mama out like I did in the past this morning for I do miss her. Reflecting further on my dream, I am reminded that in life, there is no turning back, and although I may be as flawed as Mama was, I can take where I come from and transform the mix that is uniquely me into something more good than bad (with a little help, of course).
* Read Jackie Pullinger's amazing story in Chasing the Dragon.
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