These past few weeks I realized just how much power words can hold. I have always understood this but did not actually think that words spoken to me when I was a young girl would still impact me today.
The negative comments, jeers, taunts and labels, the lies that were thrown at me still reside within me, frozen in time, buzzing with life and holding sway over my self-esteem and my psyche.
So no matter how confident I am now, as an adult, in certain situations, I still react like that young girl who was uncomfortable in her own skin because she believed the negative messages told to her, and that made her feel like she was lacking, a misfit.
I remain reserved and guarded in my awkwardness, and in the language of Boundaries, I tend not to let the good in, even as I have been quite adept at keeping the bad out (while allowing the bad inside to set up house, so it seems).
Hanging onto the past is no way to live, especially if it impedes growth and freedom in the present.
Did Jesus not say “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”?
It was therefore no coincidence that I got a chance to go for a weekend retreat at the Major Seminary early April. What was duty and obligation on my part turned out to be a blessing as I had the opportunity to revisit my past and reflect on how I wanted my present to unfold.
As I rested in the silence spaces of my consciousness, I could feel my heart burning within me, like the two disciples who met and conversed with Jesus on the road to Emmaus.
At the same time I felt “foolish” and “slow of heart”, like the disciples, for not realizing earlier what was within my grasp all along and what I needed to do to move ahead.
I am thankful that God is faithful and He never gives up on me. Instead He keeps sending people in my life to serve as prophets, to remind me of who I am and what He desires for me.
Likewise the Fully Alive Experience last weekend as well as the Theology of the Body programme running currently in St. Teresa's every Tuesday evening have kept me alert to His presence and made effecting change easier.
This Easter has emerged as a season for me to let go even more of the past that still resonates in my body so that I can live the Easter promise with resounding integrity.
May truth always prevail.
The negative comments, jeers, taunts and labels, the lies that were thrown at me still reside within me, frozen in time, buzzing with life and holding sway over my self-esteem and my psyche.
So no matter how confident I am now, as an adult, in certain situations, I still react like that young girl who was uncomfortable in her own skin because she believed the negative messages told to her, and that made her feel like she was lacking, a misfit.
I remain reserved and guarded in my awkwardness, and in the language of Boundaries, I tend not to let the good in, even as I have been quite adept at keeping the bad out (while allowing the bad inside to set up house, so it seems).
Hanging onto the past is no way to live, especially if it impedes growth and freedom in the present.
Did Jesus not say “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full”?
It was therefore no coincidence that I got a chance to go for a weekend retreat at the Major Seminary early April. What was duty and obligation on my part turned out to be a blessing as I had the opportunity to revisit my past and reflect on how I wanted my present to unfold.
As I rested in the silence spaces of my consciousness, I could feel my heart burning within me, like the two disciples who met and conversed with Jesus on the road to Emmaus.
At the same time I felt “foolish” and “slow of heart”, like the disciples, for not realizing earlier what was within my grasp all along and what I needed to do to move ahead.
I am thankful that God is faithful and He never gives up on me. Instead He keeps sending people in my life to serve as prophets, to remind me of who I am and what He desires for me.
Likewise the Fully Alive Experience last weekend as well as the Theology of the Body programme running currently in St. Teresa's every Tuesday evening have kept me alert to His presence and made effecting change easier.
This Easter has emerged as a season for me to let go even more of the past that still resonates in my body so that I can live the Easter promise with resounding integrity.
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