Finding Jesus in Lent

My love, my life I've given, to One who is divine,
For His great love is boundless,
It has captured all of mine.
He is my my Lord and Saviour, the Son of God made man.
He said to me, "Come follow Me,"
The Son of God made man.
Hearing His voice, I made my choice,
The Son of God made man.

Few people know the secret that when one's love is pure,
The peace and joy that Christ gives
Are beyond all dreams for sure.
No greater love than His then,
in all the world I'll find,
He is my King, everything,
The Son Of God made man,
King He shall be eternally,
The Son of God made man
The King of Glory, the Son of God made man.

For some reason, the very old hymn above keeps playing in my head lately. Quite appropriate, really, for somehow, the invitation to me this Lenten season is to follow Jesus in a more radical manner: to sell everything I have, take up my cross and follow Him.

I have been reading all kinds of reflections and tips on how to make this Lenten season a more enriching one and the message really is not one of privation as suggested by the ideas of repentance, fasting, praying and alms-giving. Rather, it is about a call to return to what is essential: a dynamic, loving relationship with the Father and His Son, by meditating on the life of Jesus, and following Him as closely as His disciples did when He walked the earth.

To repent is to turn back, to rediscover what we have forgotten or have taken for granted, this gift of love from the Father who stayed the hand of Abraham from killing his son Isaac, and yet turned around and offered his own son as a sacrifice to save us. Then there is Jesus, who is our advocate and mediator to the Father and the Father's saving grace. He leads us to His Father in the best way possible.

Besides being our champion, Jesus also leads by example. He never put a foot wrong for He was so attuned to the Father's will and He was able to carry out His Father's ministry of love perfectly. Jesus was able to accomplish all this only because prayer, fasting, and giving to the poor were very much a part of his life. He was the supreme servant leader.

Thus if we are serious about rejuvenating our faith life during Lent, the practices of Jesus come highly recommended for these are the spaces we can create within our inner worlds, inviting Him to enter and move us in His Spirit.

Naturally there are many caveats about fasting. Whatever we decide to fast from, besides the traditional form, we need to ensure we are fasting the "right" way, that is, for the right reasons. Our intent must be pure. If we decide on a traditional fast from food, it should not be our annual bid to lose unwanted weight. Neither is Lent meant to kick-start a self-improvement project, not that that is a bad thing in itself.

One of the tips I read mentioned not placing too much emphasis on any one thing we give up. Ah yes, don't get too caught up by my own goodness and become overly rigid so that I can't see the forest for the trees. Plus, I must keep trying to top any previous act of goodness, not just settling for good enough.

As prescribed by Blessed Mother Teresa, give until it hurts. So whatever I fast from, if it points me back to Jesus without me getting too self-congratulatory about it, then I have succeeded in becoming a little more Christ-like than usual, especially if others benefit or find my behaviour edifying. I find there is a quiet joy in offering up the hunger pangs of a fast when interceding for someone for it lends weight to my prayer.

We all know we must pray. Constantly. But like anything that is good for you, it can be perceived as a chore. Never mind that I can see the merits of it, and even testify to the awesomeness of having moved mountains through prayer, it is still a struggle for me to make time for it every day, even though I know it grounds me and helps me make good decisions.

Today's Gospel helps give me added purpose to keep on praying for the only way I can love my enemies is through prayer. As Father Thomas shared prayer helps to purify my vision so that I am able to see God in my enemies (or merely people who rub me the wrong way) Thus, I am able to view them as brothers and sisters in Christ, even those who persecute me.

Given my current low energy levels, my first inclination is to ignore everyone in need and tend to myself only. Lent gives me the much needed kick in the pants to come out of myself and offer daily the gift of presence: listening to others' stories with openness and interest when I am feeling most apathetic, and asking Jesus what should I do when I feel the urge to respond.

I thank Mother Church for the opportunity to come back to the fundamentals of my faith, to inspire me to keep the fire burning, and to say to Jesus thank you for dying for me. I say yes to the peace and joy that only you, my Lord, can give. I will follow you.

Questioning marriage

How did you become part of my story?
We walked in such different circles
Though alike in hearts and minds 
Of love of the Lord and His dear Mother
I still find it incomprehensibly awesome 
So deeply grateful for His divine graces.
What do you think marriage holds for us?
The seeds to love Him more dearly, clearly,
While, for me, it's to follow Him more nearly 
Through, with, and in you, today and every day.
Beloved of the Father, and each other
We can change lives, move hearts together.
Who knew we could have so much power
To glorify God's story of salvation?
By living ardently our marriage vows 
Sanctified in a mutual assent to Cana.
When do we know we do His will?
We die to live in His image and likeness.
Our songs of freedom, songs of joy
touch the weary, imprisoned and sick
No one is neglected, the hungry are fed.
Where will we go in this lifetime?
We cannot know, but yet, we trust
His ways are suitably sufficient.
Like Juan Diego, we simply obey,
Allow winter roses to tickle our senses.
Why pay the price; so bravely say yes?
Only the heart of the Mother knows
If we follow her lead, we, too, will be blessed.

Living the questions

During my recent day of recollection with the liturgical ministries of Blessed Sacrament Church, Brother Dominic came with many questions for us to reflect on so that we can each work on transforming our ministry into community. He quoted Rainer Maria Rilke on living with the questions in our life rather then pushing them aside:

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

Brother Dominic encouraged us to sit with the questions in our life, to reflect constantly on why we do the things we do in our quest for answers in our life. If we do not know the questions, then the answers may not mean much either to ourselves or others, and we risk being jaded and burnt out, especially during the times when we don't seem to be making much headway.

He reminded all present that there is a universal call to holiness which we exercise and grow only when we live it out actively in ministry, serving others as bread broken, blessed and shared. Because ministry is collaborative and communal by nature, we have to dialogue face to face and work hand in hand together. The one who gives, receives, as the one who receives also gives. This dynamism of service is most strongly evinced in the sharing of lives, the telling of our own personal stories.

Brother Dominic also encouraged us to see our brokenness as as starting point for the light of Christ to enter and fill us even as it heals us, and to then allow ourselves to reflect that same light to others, bringing relief. It is mostly through our suffering that we learn to be more compassionate and less competitive. He stressed that compassion does not come naturally and we require spiritual strength to view the world in a more fraternal and Christ-like manner.  When we reach out and share through our brokenness, this encourages and gives hope to those around us.

My lesson from this weekend is that I should continue to live the questions as richly and reflectively as I did before I got married.

When I look back at the last 13 years of single life, I had to  live out the many questions of my vocation of marriage and motherhood in creative and unique ways. What I draw from those years is that all things are indeed possible with God, and there is deep satisfaction in being obedient to the Father and willing to go His way, for He will lead you down paths you would not otherwise choose. Consequently I developed a vibrant and Abrahamic kind of faith.

Having now experienced just over a year of marriage, I find myself living the questions of my vocation with increased intensity. There is a whole spectrum of questions, and I have to lean on Jesus more than ever. Plus, Mother Mary helps me with a feminine perspective on dealing with life. Those 13 years pale in comparison to the complexities that I am faced with today. However, the blessings are manifold.

The second reading of last Sunday's Liturgy of the Word, 1 Corinthians 7:32-37, spoke strongly to me: how a married woman must concern herself with things of the world and devote her time to her husband. Marriage necessitates a change in how I go about serving the Lord. I need to love the Lord by being pleasing to my husband and the children, and yet, I cannot allow marriage to be a distraction that draws me away from Jesus. Questions are needed to ensure I do not fall into the trap of the latter. Only wisdom of divine nature can assist me in treading the fine line of ministry within and without my marriage, just as the Spirit will guide me to ultimately be pleasing to my Father in heaven.

Whatever our vocation and the vicissitudes of that vocation, there is just one simple guideline that predicates love of neighbour, and that is to love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength and with all your mind. If I live out the hows, wheres, whats, whens and whys in close reference to Jesus, then living the questions becomes an altogether simpler yet more profound experience.

Celebrating a life well lived

It has happened yet again, someone I love has in the space of just over a day disappeared from this earth. Yes, life is fragile, time is finite, death is inevitable and all that, but when death wields an unexpected stroke, it leaves me slightly numb. We were just planning a visit in March to Melaka to see her and Mum's other relatives and friends, but now, Mum and I are in Melaka to attend the funeral tomorrow morning.

The only consolation is Aunty I did not suffer much. She had a fall last Thursday around lunchtime, hitting her head on the floor. There was bleeding in the brain, and despite efforts to move her to a hospital in KL for treatment, she passed on Friday evening.

 Aunty I is close in age to my mother and they grew up as playmates during the Japanese Occupation along with a bunch of other cousins. She is the only one who could relate a story of my mother as a playful girl chasing a screaming Aunty I around the garden with an earthworm lodged between her fingers. If you met my mother you could never imagine she had it in her to be mischievous. But then again, Aunty I would have been a great victim for she had a sunny and forgiving nature, and had a loud scream.

When talking to Aunty I, my mother became loquacious and animated. We've had some great times over the years, me listening to them chatter and laugh over the stories she would relate to us. Aunty I was insouciantly cheerful and had a huge store of funny stories to tell us. I will miss her infectious laugh and laid-back bonhomie. She was a true Melakan nonya who welcomed us with warm hospitality and easy smiles, always wanting to feed us.

Tonight as I listened to relatives and friends pay tribute to her, I am reminded that Aunty I was a woman of great faith, simple and strong. She was constantly praying for others and I am sure she blessed me with prayer over the years as well.

As Pastor Sam said it's not so important how one died (seeing as how her death was so sudden), but rather it is good to ask how one lived? Aunty I lived a full life for she touched many people's lives and brought many to Jesus, especially her own family members. She was sweet, kind, generous and humble as she laboured tirelessly in the Lord's vineyard, winning hearts for Him through prayer.

While I am sad I will never hear her laugh again, I rejoice that she is now with Jesus, a just reward for always placing Him first in her heart and life. It was a good way to go, quick with a modicum of suffering - she was definitely favoured by God. I celebrate her irrepressible spirit and unyielding faith with a wish to be even a quarter of the prayer warrior she was. Then I would move mountains like she has.

Till we meet again, dear Aunty I, may eternal rest and perpetual light be yours.

Sitting next to Aunty I in happier times

Seven words for the new year

It is officially 2018! P and I welcomed in the new year by attending late night mass on New Year's Eve, giving thanks for the 12 months before, and also for Mary, Mother of God. Would that we both have half her courage and love for the Father and her Son, then the year ahead will be one filled with great things as we both magnify the Lord in all we do in the new year.

What do I wish for in 2018? That I will spend more time in contemplation. If 2017 is any indicator of how life is, it will not slow down. Apart for that, I am bringing across what was good for me in 2017 to the new year:

Breathe. No matter how stressful the situation, I can control how I deal with it even though I cannot control the situation itself. Being uptight and grouchy will not help me, or those around me. Release the tension. Breathe in and breathe out the name of Jesus, and let it be. Jesus will point the way forward, just follow Him obediently. His is always the best way.

Accept. In life, there will be always be upsets, spills, losses, breakdowns and betrayals. Expect that life will not be perfect or go my way all the time. Find beauty, instead, in the snarls and chaos - it is there. And give thanks that I will grow stronger from adversity. Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ so there is nothing to fear. or to throw a hissy fit, for we already own the Good News and we are already living in the Kingdom of Heaven.

Remember. Although my memory grows poor as I age, I can remember to count my blessings, and commit to memory all the times I have been given much. Plus, every day, there are new blessings to celebrate. As Hebrews 13:8 reminds us: God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is the loving Father, generous to a fault. He wants only the best for us and gives us just that. The question is whether I let myself experience His abundant love every day so that I am able to love others as He loves them.

Affirm. I spent too much of 2017 complaining and criticising, bad habits of a lifetime that I am resolved to change. It is not impossible to do so and I will do as Fritz recommended last year, and that is to pray immediately after I receive communion that Jesus heals me of a particular sin. Jesus came not only to redeem me but also to help me break free from sin. I am wasting a golden opportunity to be rid of sin if I don't allow the power of the Eucharist to administer to my faults and transform my sinful nature.

Laugh. There is nothing like humour to lighten the load and turn a bad day around. I need to be able to poke fun at myself when I get ridiculous or too intense. Laugh when all I want to do is cry. Laugh when I feel like pulling my hair out. Laugh just for the fun of it. And if I can make others around me laugh, too, I have done well for laughter heals and mends hearts, deepens the bonds of any relationship, and often brings much-needed perspective.

Offer. If I offer my life daily up to Jesus, I will hold lightly in my hands all my sorrows and my joys, all my losses and my victories. I will not be tempted so much by pride, nor will I succumb to addiction so easily. I can work on acquiring virtue without becoming vain, and I will walk with humility to see him more clearly, love him more dearly and follow Him more nearly.

Magnify. And glorify the Lord as Mary did with her life. His will, all the time - this makes the great moments greater, turns the impossible on its head, and multiplies the five loaves and two fish I possess in order to feed many. It can be done. Our Mother always believed, never lost hope and loved with all her heart. I can do the same. Her gentle attentiveness due to her rich interior life has helped me master my own inner storms and I know she will continue to steer me through the days to come.

I hope to achieve these seven words every day. If I do, I know it will be a good year.

Anniversary lessons

It has been just little over a year since P and I got hitched. I can't believe it's been a year, nor that I am married. Still amazed. Still awed by how P and I met and slipped into marriage. It was a sweet decision, and it still is.

It hasn't been easy, and yet, it has been surprisingly smooth and mostly wonderful. I suppose it helped that we went into marriage appreciating that happily ever afters are hugely possible if both parties are willing to work at it devotedly. The good thing is, we both are. Of course we frequently get a helping hand from Jesus and His Mother.

So what have I learned in this very full year of marriage?

Walking humbly
The vows we spoke to one another on our wedding day have to be lived out in very concrete ways and in tangible acts. This means respecting each other's boundaries by giving in to the other without giving up one's own dignity or identity. We go out of our way to do things that will enrich the other as Christ would, not subserviently but selflessly. Of course knowing what it is exactly that the other wants and needs is tricky and will take us a lifetime to refine.

I have learned that my way may not necessarily be his way, and therefore it is not the best way. Likewise, what P thinks I want may not coincide with what I truly want, so adjustments in thinking are needed. We will still fumble and bumble. We will still talk at cross purposes. We will still have misunderstandings and communication breakdowns. We will still get frustrated and angry with each other at times. But how we deal with all this is what will continue to move us towards the happily ever after.

If we consciously walk with humility, we will both keep forgiving and being gracious to each other even when we don't feel like it; we will take accountability for our own mistakes, apologize, and make amends. We will also be open to new ways of doing things, to new experiences, all in the name of being a better spouse.

Humility enables gratitude, empathy and generosity to well up and power our behaviour, thus humility makes us kinder, more considerate and caring towards each other. Self-denial is not a problem. Sacrifice can even be a pleasure, a joy, as I have found.

Spacing togetherness
I have always loved this quote from Khalil Gibran's The Prophet on relationships:

Let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Give space: allowing life to unfold as it wills usually yields better results, rather than forcing things to go the way you want them. I have a tendency to jump to conclusions, be judgemental, and also to demand instant results. In these past months I have learned to hold my temper and bite my tongue (edit, edit, edit damaging, killer comments that threaten to trip over emotionally charged lips); fold my arms and wait although internally I am jumping up and down with impatience. The honey of forbearance trumps the vinegar of impulsive, intransigent gratification.

It is no longer all about me or him but about us, therefore the relationship, the us, needs time and space to grow freely and organically. In this area, prayer is indispensable. When things are not going as I would wish, when I am upset or in despair, I pray for insight and strength to change myself first. I pray for His will to be done. Often, God honours my prayer, and Mother Mary comes to my aid. Hearts transform, pathways open up, the impossible is made possible. I am always amazed at His creativity.

While we are a couple, we are also our own people, separate individuals. There will always be a tension between the two as we forge couplehood. When do we compromise personal preferences and likes in order to foster a stronger marriage, and when do we keep nurturing our own identities in order to stimulate the marriage, this is something both P and I need to tango back and forth in one accord (we can naturally agree to disagree) - sometimes giving, sometimes taking. There is no perfect science to this save the sincerity we both bring to the table in wanting the best for the other.

Hunting grace moments
Married life is filled with grace moments, some we see right off the bat, others need keen detecting. If we take the time to look, we will also find those we take for granted. The consciousness examen helps me spot grace moments so that I can show appreciation and give affirmation appropriately, and frequently (something I am still learning to do).

Grace moments are like sacraments in that they are visible signs of inner grace and concrete acts of love. When these little light bulbs of divine love go off, they light up our world, and build bonds of love between us.

We are the ones largely responsible for creating our own grace moments in marriage, and when P and I both move in the Spirit, we create grace moments which often have a multiplier effect. People around us, especially our loved ones, benefit, for the effect is not just limited to the two of us.

Of course the best kind of grace moments are those that are completely unmerited, unsought and spontaneous, blessings from the One who loves us. Look out for those as well and luxuriate in them.

Through these last 12 months of thrills and spills, the one thing that has made it all that bit better is the laughter and smiles P and I have shared. P makes me laugh every day and has even taught me to laugh at myself, and not take myself too seriously. I thank God for this good man I call husband and I look forward to celebrating many more years with him. 

Vacations and churches

When my sister-in-law asked me what there was to do in Sydney for she is visiting in March, I said to her she should research it herself for P and I have a penchant for visiting Catholic churches first before we do any additional sight-seeing.

We are always somehow blessed whenever we travel by usually picking accommodation close enough to a Catholic church to be able to walk to it thereby not missing out on our daily mass routine. Thus in Sydney, our first planned activity was to celebrate Sunday mass at Saint Bridgid's on Kent Street which turned out to be the oldest Catholic place of worship in Sydney and was a place where Australian saint Mary MacKillop frequented (or so we were told).

Later we discovered yet another church within walking distance that celebrated five weekday masses daily, Saint Patrick's, run by the Marist brothers. I felt Our Lady of Guadalupe granted my desire to celebrate her feast day, and my wedding anniversary in thanksgiving.

What P and I found most heartening was how crowded the weekday masses were in Sydney and, how many people went for the Sacrament of Reconciliation. It was hilarious really, for I thought I was next in line when a man went into the Recon room after the priest had turned on the light indicating his presence only to discover I had to get in line with 13-15 people ahead of me. On subsequent days we would see two priests administering Recon before and during mass, and this is during weekdays!

We then boarded a cruise that took us to Lifou where we could pray the rosary in the tiniest brick and wooden chapel dedicated to Our Lady of Lourdes I have seen, and to do the same in the Noumea Cathedral dedicated to Saint Joseph, again places we could walk to with not much effort.

When we returned to Sydney after our cruise we found ourselves close to Saint Mary's Cathedral and to Saint Peter Julian's, a lovely small church in Chinatown that both P and I felt was filled with the presence of the Holy Spirit.

What was the real treat just before we returned home was to enjoy the

Christmas light up at the Cathedral, whose facade was used as a canvas for the laser projection show that sought to evangelise those who watched it even as it wowed us with its beauty.

There is something to be said for seeking Jesus even when on vacation,and making time to honour Father God and Our Lady, who kept us safe and met us in the warmth and graciousness of the people, the beauty of the local architecture and land, and the many opportunities to enjoy ourselves(we had mostly great weather with a few passing showers that did not deter our activities). We were edifiied by the faith of Sydneysiders, and we found God is indeed alive and well, and living in the city.

Finding inner strength

It has been a while since I blogged. Life has been a little overwhelming lately and I have not been very inspired to share. To be honest, I kind of lost my voice. It has been a year filled not only with many new experiences that have posed needed adjustments, but numerous insignificant yet bothersome physical ailments. Despite my struggle to stay on top of things, I have spun quite often into despair and despondency. So I entered into the season of Advent not feeling quite my best, nor able to give much to anyone.

E said something to me a couple of weeks ago, a statement I found most liberating: It's okay not to be strong all the time. I had shared with him that I was not in a good place physically and that this posed quite a challenge for me emotionally.

Yes, it's okay to struggle, to fall, and to lean on those around you. There is no shame in admitting I am weak, that I have faults and failings only those who choose to love me can accept.

In the midst of my suffering, I often ask when will it end, yet knowing at the same time, I will be given the inner strength to deal with it. Thus I have found that suffering does not define me, nor should I let it do so.

I can still laugh with joy and sing with gratitude for all the good things that have been given to me. As E told me when she saw me last, rather than look at life as being filled with challenges, look at things, events that happen, as part of a season in life and allow myself to waver and stumble, taking one step at a time. Perfection is not required. I also needed to remember to articulate my difficulties, share them, rather than keep it all bottled up inside of me.

As I prayed the sorrowful mysteries this morning, I could see that Jesus allowed the events that were to happen play out fully. At no point in time did He protest or throw in the towel. He knew what was going to happen but still he underwent the betrayal, the unjust accusations, the humiliation of abuse and torture, the excruciating walk to Calvary and its final horror of crucifixion.

He bore the cross alone and walked, bowed under the weight, stumbling often. On the way, He accepted the assistance of Simon the Cyrenian, He let Veronica to wipe His face, He met His Mother, exchanging looks of grief-filled love, and He acknowledged the weeping women of Jerusalem.

In my own life who am I to eschew suffering? Nor should I demand perfection out of everything in life, especially what I do. Certainly what I can do to change things around I will do, in my own limited way, but what is not within my control I can accept with grace and act with integrity and selfless love, always reaching out to others as He did at each juncture.

As I wait for the Christ child to be born and to eventually grow up into the Messiah who redeems me, I let go of my pain, my despair, the things I cannot change, all of life's imperfections, and I look forward to His birth with anticipation and joy. I can do great things through Him only if I allow Him to be born in my heart. O come Immanuel. You will be my inner strength. 

Choosing life over death

I say I choose life every day but I lie. While I do make a conscious choice to be life-giving, to be as compassionate and loving as Jesus was, and I acknowledge the primacy and centrality of God in my life, I choose death when it comes to my physical well-being.

I don't pay such close attention to what I put in my body, often eating foods that are bad for me; I ignore what my body needs to maintain optimum health. I even ignore the pain I am in, until it becomes unbearable before I actually do something about it. Hence, I choose death on some level every day.

Just by listening to the people around me, seeing the states their bodes are in, I know I am not unique. I may even make 'better' choices, and thank God, my health issues are not serious and revolve mostly around managing muscle pain and getting a good night's sleep.

P said that people generally avoid a fast death but they invariably pick a slow one. He was talking about people with chronic illnesses who have the power to manage said illnesses yet choose to ignore the prescribed remedies, preferring instead to let their conditions degenerate to a point where symptoms can be dire, and damage irreversible. Even then, they refuse to take accountability and make judicious changes in lifestyles that would help, opting instead to use medication as their only line of defence.

It's completely baffles me that people can be so irrational, choosing death over life, albeit a very slow death, but, then again, I am no different myself. I do not eat properly and exercise regularly. I do not do what's right for my body. I guess I'm not disciplined enough, and laziness trumps vanity for me. Prayer, now I've got that down pretty much, even mindfulness, but exercise and eating right? Hmmm, I still have a ways to go.

Although looking after one's health is not explicitly preached in the Bible, Saint Paul did remind the Corinthians that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit within us, and that we are not our own, we belong to God. We also know that gluttony is one of the seven deadly sins and that temperance is a virtue. In Genesis, we are tasked to be good stewards - should this not apply to our bodies besides the environment?

When I feel tired or unwell, I am not able to give my best to the tasks I set myself. I even draw back from reaching out to others, loving others, for it all becomes just too much. My efforts are lackadaisical and perfunctory.

When I am in pain, I can only focus on my own pain, my world shrinks, and I tend to ignore the pain of others. I become self-centred, selfish, without even realizing it. I become short-tempered, impatient and quite intolerant of others' weaknesses.

When I am emotionally exhausted and fragile, I close up unto myself, and I do not hear the cries of the needy around me. I don't want to. I just can't. How can I be the hands and feet of Christ when I myself am so in need of comfort and rest?

I recently had a minor procedure done and while the outcome was good and I feel relieved and grateful, I am also physically drained. So I am learning to love myself a little more by resting and taking better care of my body. I realize I cannot continue down this path of poor stewardship over my own health for the price is high in terms of not being able to do the things I love, and the missed opportunities to minister to others.

I want to be pain-free, energized, brimming with health and vitally alive. If I am in better shape to worship the Lord, I will do a better job of it. Right now, my best is really not my personal best, and that's a shame. As I work on restoring my health, I invite you to take stock and see if you could make some healthier choices and to do it immediately. Every day we are given the power to choose life or death, choose life in all the ways that honour the Creator. 

Cultivating coupleness in marriage

I was sharing with my SD last week about how my marriage was going and he said to me you both need to find a new language of love that is special to the two of you, a coupleness that is forged from each person's gifts and talents, and expressed in giving to the other in a committed love. I thought, what a lovely concept, and I was heartened for P and I have actually been doing this for the last year or so, discovering and building our own unique love language.

He reminded me of not falling into the pitfalls of a consumer relationship where we use each other for our own selfish needs, and we do not not respect the other's gendered dignity and we objectify each other. The archetype of this kind of relationship is where the man is seen as the banker or social status enabler while the woman is the "decorative vase" or baby factory.

Then there is the convenience relationship where we are in relationship merely to suit our own needs and purposes. It is not really what we are looking for in a relationship but it serves certain superficial social purposes, so why not? This is almost like a friends with benefits type of relationship where we fulfil ourselves gratuitously at the cost of real intimacy. Again we fall into using quite easily.

I will also put into this category, what my SD cautions against for married couples, and that is the married but living as singles. There is no true commitment to establishing a life together as one couple. Neither is willing to give up or make certain sacrifices that would make the other happy, so we still pursue separate interests and social lives, much like housemates. The relationship dynamics centre around quid pro quo, a what's in it for me attitude, all very transactional. Hardly what one can call marriage.

The kind of relationship marriage should be is the committed relationship where we are invested in the welfare of the other, what is good for him or her. It's a self-donating love that does not give up one's own dignity and individuality and is centred first on loving God in order to love the other. It's not about codependency or being a doormat.

There are undoubtedly differences in how men and women communicate, and how they see things from a feminine or masculine perspective can add tension to a relationship, even in the best of committed relationships. P and I are still learning to accommodate each other's differences, even when we don't completely understand the other at times. With patience, empathy and the ability to forgive, we can change to become better people together as well as individually through time.

Here is where what JPII calls the complementarity of the sexes comes into play. We are each called to combine the best of our masculine and feminine genius in how we interact with each other as a couple and how we, as a couple, act and interact socially.

This gender difference is found in spirituality as well. Brother Dominic shared that for men, the tendency was to the external, think Saint John of the Cross's Ascent to Mount Carmel. For women, it is more internal much like Saint Teresa of Avila's bid to enter the Interior Castle.

Women tend to be more life-giving, while men more life-protecting, just like Joseph who fled to Egypt with Jesus and Mary upon receiving a dream from an angel. The invitation is for both to nurture the life-giving qualities, without ignoring being life-protecting, and bless each other, their extended and respective families, and society at large.

As P and I continue to grow in coupleness, creating our own love language, I find the words of Saint Louis de Montfort in his book True Devotion to Mary apply equally to the marriage vocation and I can certainly shoot for this:

It is certain that growth in the holiness of God is your vocation. All your thoughts, words, actions, everything you suffer or undertake must lead you towards that end. Otherwise you are resisting God in not doing the work for which he created you and for which he is even now keeping you in being. What a marvelous transformation is possible! Dust into light, uncleanness into purity, sinfulness into holiness, creature into Creator, man into God!

To Jesus through Mary

P and I just spent the weekend at the Montfort Centre learning more about Montfortian spirituality with regards to Mother Mary. We both had a great time. Brother Dominic cracked us up even as he taught us profound truths of why going to Christ through His Mother is the surest, smoothest, shortest and most perfect way. We learned more about what it means to have a true devotion to Mary, and allowed ourselves to just bask in her hidden way.

I was also delighted to find two labyrinths on the peaceful and lush grounds and to walk them in prayer. It was lovely to reflect on the past months of busyness and great adjustments, and to give thanks for all the graces I have received. Mother Mary has been my source of strength, comfort and inspiration in these months of trying to be a good wife and mother. That the transitions have been so smooth, and I have been able to find my way with not too many missteps in the trickiness of forging new relationships is due in no small part to Our Lady. I thank God for the gift of  Mother Mary, who has helped mould me in her feminine gifts of gentleness, generous hospitality, intuitive wisdom and quiet humility.

Hush! Child, do not cry!
I am here with you.
Do not be afraid!
Just do whatever He tells you
For He knows best.
I know for he is my son, 
And I have taught him well
To revere his father 
Honour his ways and walk
With integrity and mercy 
In every breath
In every heartbeat
In every step.
I am the Immaculate Conception.
Graced by God to be his echo
Tree of life
Unifying oceans 
Mystical bowl 
The hidden way
Queen of all hearts.
So learn from my fiat:
Let it be done in all things
According to the Father's will
Especially receiving the man child
Into your heart,
Giving him room to grow
So you will become more like him
God-like, Spirit-full
Singing true, humming strong
The glorious salvation song
Cutting evil at its knees.
When hope is lost remember
To light your way from within
Ponder in silence 
Pierce through the mystery
Winnow the pain away leaving
The healing scent of winter roses
Tempering suffering into a sweet delight.
You must hold firm!
Grounded in the Beloved
you are, as I am.
Via Maria
I am the perfect way
Straight to his heart
From my heart.

Using faith well

Faith unused decreases. It's a law... Today unused is lost. A talent unused is lost. An ability unused is lost.

The words of Jim Rohn, a motivational speaker who used the parable of the talents to illustrate his message of using all you've got struck a chord within me.

I thought it was interesting to view faith as a something to be used but Jim Rohn had a point. While faith is fundamentally a gift - given to each of us freely, just as salvation through Jesus Christ is - if we do not even bother to unwrap the gift, we will remain completely unaffected by the gift, unmoved. We will lose out on the experience of marvelling at its beauty, or of availing ourselves of it to bless others, and indirectly bless ourselves.

Faith cannot remain pristine or remote, some perfect ideal dwelling on top of the mountain removed from civilization. Faith must be lived out: it has to be engaged, and even gritty, for it is mostly when we grapple with it in the everyday struggles of life that we can actually grow in faith. We have to use it: use it to make decisions, use it to grow in virtue and tease our disposition into the image and likeness of the One who created us.

The parable of the talents is one that used to trouble me a lot for what if I am like the servant with one talent who is so afraid of losing it and buries it in the ground to maintain it? I am in deep trouble. Although I have moved out of that place and I see myself more like the servant who is able to somewhat multiply the talents given to me, ultimately I want to max out my potential. I have been given much, therefore more is expected of me.

So what is my faith like? Do I use it every day? Is it central to my life? Do I act out my beliefs and live out a powerful witness of life? Or is my faith incidental, I choose when and where to exercise it; it comes and goes with circumstances and I do not live and breathe the name of Jesus in all my actions? Here is where the marriage vows of being true in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health should apply. Like love, faith is not a feeling, Nor does it rely on sentiment. Faith is a commitment, an act of will as much as it is a grace given by God, a gift.

We were reflecting on the greatset commandment earlier in the week, which is the Gospel of today and initially I was focused on what I do to love my neighbour for I believe that faith must be lived out not just in words, but in action. Then the second time I reflected on it, I was struck by the necessity of loving God as stated in the first part of Jesus' answer.

I will always live in the tension of having too much to do in a limited amount of time and an easily depletable store of energy. Before I even act in love, I need to love God, sit quietly at His feet with all that I am and let His love enfold me. In so doing, awash and steeped His love, He will show me how I need to love others; who are the people, on a daily basis, that I need to love actively as my neighbour, while supplying me with the necessary disposition, plus what talents do I need to deploy to love effectively. Loving Him first frees me from unrealistic expectations on my own part, and allows me to examine my own motivations and purify them so that I do not suffer from burn out. So loving God and neighbour are inextricably tied together.

As we approach the end of the liturgical year, the Gospel readings remind us to stay awake, be alert, and be ready for the Master's coming. We cannot afford to slacken in our disciplines of faith, nor flag in our attempts to love the people who surround us. In the parting words of Jim Rohn:

Make sure that all of your talent and ability, and mentality, and ingenuity, and vitality, and strong feelings, faith, courage, make sure that all you've got is being used, otherwise you lose.

Making the mark

She was quite upset, wailing that she had made a mistake in a major decision even though she had prayed and discerned about this matter previously. What she forgot was that making the right decision does not exclude difficulties, sacrifices or a need to make radical changes in one's life, all not so easy as we get older and more set in our ways. On the contrary, making the right decision usually holds more challenges, obstacles the size of mountains even.

She wanted to know if I regretted my decision to get married, for wasn't marriage difficult at times? It is, but no regrets. I did not elaborate much for I find it pointless to gripe about my struggles. Of course there have to be struggles despite the fact I married a super great guy: there were the inevitable teething problems, the occasional communication breakdowns and misunderstandings, situations that may not be to my liking, constraints I may resent... the list goes on.

There are also times I feel lost, and empty, for marriage seems so reductive that I have become a shadow of who I am; I feel I am not serving the Lord as fully as I should, that I have buried my talents in the ground. Is this right for me? Questions crowd my mind, with no immediate or clear answers. Insecurities and fears gnaw at my consciousness. I have hopes for the marriage - for us as a couple, for myself, for the one whom I love - desires that I wonder will ever come to fruition? I can fall into despair.

Here is where I go back to the beginning.

Father Michael asked us at the Lector Day of Recollection two weeks ago, what is the mark if sin is defined as missing the mark, and we fall into sin when we are insecure of God's love, or when we doubt the giftedness of our beings and begin to let fear get the better of us. While the Kingdom of God is my mark as a lector and Christian, my personal mark goes beyond ensuring the redemption of my soul and thereby entering into eternal life.

My mark is like Mother Mary's fiat: His will always, not mine. I aim to do whatever He tells me. Why? Because no one loves me the way He does, so perfectly, so generously and so tenderly. I believe He knows what's best for me and I trust Him implicitly with my life. I follow Him because He has all the right answers: to the uncompromising, demanding yet illuminating truth, to life's mysteries, and the way to a love that satisfies completely.

Father Greg said at yesterday's retreat for ICPE Singapore's Companions that at the heart of worship is gratitude. The best way to reciprocate the Father's love is to demonstrate a heart of gratitude by loving others as Jesus loves me - which can mean to the point of death. This is the hard part, for the inconvenience of dying to self again and again is at constant war with my instinctive inclination for self-preservation.

Jesus' brand of self-donating love is where the beginning lies, a love found in Creation, and again at my inception and birth: the Father's pure love, unmerited and lavish. It is a gift of grace. Loved into being, loved for who I am in all my strengths and weaknesses, loved beyond my grievous faults, monumental mistakes and grimy, repulsive sins - how can I not love Him in return?

Our final sharing yesterday revolved around how to see community as mission instead of as a means of facilitating mission. Father Greg invited us to see perichoresis as a dynamic dance of ourselves and the Trinity at the table of the Lord. If we infuse community with the indwelling of the Trinity, we could dance in love and joy with and around each other, and thus gather others into the power and beauty of the Divine-filled dance.

On our own strength, we will bring to the table of community our paltry five loaves and two fish which may not be desired or adequate sustenance, but if we fall back on the Trinity when relating to one another, the loaves and fish can multiply and transform appetisingly and nutritiously into a rich banquet enjoyed by all. The dance requires our collective agreement to be as humble, loving and forgiving as Jesus is, to be as patient and generous as the Father is, and to be as wise and merciful as the Holy Spirit is, and so much more. It won't be easy, it will take effort, sweat, definitely tears, and we will always be buffeted by the tensions of living out our commitments to our loved ones as well as to our brothers and sisters in community.

Whatever my future struggles may be, whether in my marriage or my community (I pledged my commitment as Associate Member for another year), I know I need to always go back to the beginning, focus on the mark, then let myself be guided in the tango that mimics the perfect timing of the love that flows back and forth, between and among, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Heeding Our Mother's words

While I have been on vacation, life has not stopped. People I know and love have lost loved ones, distant relatives have fallen seriously ill... conflicts, tragedies, hurricanes, earthquakes, all these are part of the rhythm of life but made surreal because I was surrounded by fellow holiday makers all out to have a good time.

So what's my take away these last two weeks? Besides confirming how P and I are good and bad (we are both such Foodies) for each other, whether one is on vacation on not, certain things remain constant and fundamental to life, like prayer.

Our Lady of Akita

We began our trip to Japan with a pilgrimage to Akita where the carved wooden statue of Mother Mary there shed real human tears, blood and even perfumed sweat for a period of time. She also appeared to a sister with messages for the world, and even healed this sister of deafness.

Apparitions, miracles, these are events that make us sit up and take note, maybe reflect a little deeper on how such realities can make a difference In our lives, inspiring us to be better people. The community at Seitai Hoshikai which is home to Our Lady of Akita is itself a miracle - how it was born out of a need and grew in such harsh conditions. Christianity is definitely not for the faint of heart but for those who are spiritually rugged and tough, people who can stay the distance.

The message of Our Lady of Akita echoes the same one Our Lady conveyed in Fatima, that prayer, constant prayer alone can avert the disasters that loom so alarmingly and threaten to overcome the world. The exhortation of Our Mother remains the same, pray the rosary daily, it is our weapon against the darkness and bleakness that prevails in our lives.

We took to heart the message of Akita and in the days that followed, we both prayed the rosary as well as the Stations of the Cross daily. There is something special that happens when we offer up our days to the Lord even when on vacation. God grants the desires of our heart, both the spoken and unspoken ones. Despite changes in our travel plans due to a typhoon, everything went smoothly and the weather cooperated, mostly - even when it rained, it was not a major deterrent, we managed to go where we needed to go.

To satisfy our tastebuds, we found a variety of restaurants that served good food, so, so important. We also stumbled upon a number of beautiful gardens on our walks around Tokyo, and visited the awe-inspiring Saint Mary's Cathedral in Seikiguchi where we had the opportunity to hear the organ played beautifully. Best of all, there was a church near our hotel in Tokyo so that we could walk to morning mass while we were there.

I am grateful for the joys and pleasures I have experienced these last two weeks, and for the many opportunities P and myself had to build stronger bonds. I feel an even greater closeness and love for Our Mother who has blessed us in innumerable ways this vacation. So although the vacation is over, my devotion to Mother Mary and Jesus grows. I may not be doing anything in life that is greatly influential, but I know I can change the world, just by praying the rosary daily.

The following words written by Saint Therese of Lisieux resonate increasingly with me. May they serve to inspire you: My whole strength lies in prayer and sacrifice, these are my invincible arms; they can move hearts far better than words, I know it by experience. 

Making miracles happen

Although it has been busy days for me, life has been fruitful and I am amazed daily by the goodness of God and all the miracles along the way

Deep down we all love to hear about miracles and even experience them in our own lives although we, oftentimes, approach them with adult cynicism. First of all, we usually think we are not worthy of receiving miracles. Secondly, we dismiss them out of hand for fear that others will laugh at us should we share them, so better to pretend we didn't even notice them in the first place. Worse, we doubt our own ability to be architects of miracles, which we can be, when we cooperate fully with God.

Listening to Sister Maria Jose of the Verbum Dei* community share how she and another sister spent the last 20 years establishing their community here in Singapore and how the growing community proved all the naysayers wrong, I have to agree with Father John Paul, the main celebrant of their 20th anniversary celebration in Singapore that there is no lack of vocations but, rather, there a lack of vision and trust - trust in God and where He is leading, each slow, uncertain step of the way.

Sister MJ had a true missionary spirit and lived out the poverty, chastity and obedience of Jesus as He did in His time on earth, and ended up growing the Kingdom in what was thought to be barren land, bearing much fruit in a scarce 20 years. Miracle upon miracle unfolded through the years of great struggle as the community established their presence here.

As Father Anthony preached last Saturday: if we truly know who and what we are as children of God, we will find ourselves going out and sharing the Good News, impelled by an inner effervescence and generosity of heart to spread the deep joy that can be found in the salvific love of Jesus Christ.

We are all saints in the making for we share in Christ's divinity as fully as He shares in our humanity. If we truly wish to maximize our saint-like potential, then we will listen to Him wholeheartedly and tread where angels fear to go, walking the narrow path unreservedly. Our bodies may be bathed in sweat, and tears, but we will experience the daily miracles that flourish in the fertile soil of aligning our wills with His. This is how we channel divinity, infusing our humanity with the best of virtues, living meaningfully the quotidian without losing hope or faith, working the extraordinary into the small, ordinary, even boring stuff.

Today P and I have been married nine months. It feels like a lifetime he jokingly remarked. I agreed with a smile for I can no longer imagine life without him - he has grown dear and familiar to me. Worshipping the Lord in marriage has been extremely rich and life-giving for me. I feel I have been stretched to grow in new ways that bring nuance to my spirituality and dimension to my personality. I have become more wise, more patient, more forgiving, and, more loving, all, of course, by the grace of God, for in striving to serve Him better, I recognize that I can do this by being a better wife and mother - all the time.

It's so clichéd but so true that one can never outdo Jesus in generosity for despite giving up many things, I have received more pleasure and joy, especially from the small miracles of family life every day. So when it comes to miracles, I comprehend fully that I have my own part to play as well: I first need to acknowledge Jesus as my all in all, relying on Him completely and with humble simplicity; I need to pray unceasingly for the needs of others for prayer can change the world; and, I need to act with unrelenting compassion and mercy as Jesus did by remaining open to the gentle promptings of the Spirit.

Like Mother Mary who remained resolute when the Angel Gabriel called her name and answered with that first "easy" yes (and that is why we honour her Holy Name today), and then proceeded to carry and give birth to the miracle called Jesus Christ, we can all be miracle makers with a simple yes. So what's your miracle today?

* To read more of the history of  Verbum Die in Singapore, go to: http://verbumdeisingapore.org/latest/about-verbum-dei-singapore-4/

Saying yes to wholeness

It has been an exhausting couple of weeks helping out at the five-day Pastoral Care Course entitled Empowering the Wounded Healer that just ended two Sundays ago as well as being involved in an earlier weekend retreat for Church of The Nativity of The Blessed Virgin Mary and an afternoon talk by Pia Attard entitled In Search of the Beloved.

There are so many things that have touched my heart - from lessons relearned to new discoveries. I am humbled and awed at just how God works and moves in mysterious and wonderful ways, not just in the lives of others, but in my own life. Truly the more one serves, the more graces one receives.

Perhaps the most important reminder for me this August is that saying yes to Jesus requires a lifetime of repeating the same response with fresh heart every day, something that somehow doesn't get easier with time.

My yes occasionally requires my willing to go the way I know I should even when my heart isn't in it: when I am feeling uncomfortably stretched beyond my limits, when I am most afraid to come out of my comfort zone, and especially when I am drooping and bone weary.

I like P's simple approach on how to say yes in tough circumstances. First, accept the situation for what it is. Then, look at the big picture (this also requires you to know who you are and where you want to go). Finally, respond by making the best out of the situation. Cut through all the dodgy rationalizations, the unreliable, seesawing emotions, plus the conditions that ego and pride place on things. Cut out all the complaining, griping and inner trash talk. Do what's right by God and by others even if it comes at great personal sacrifice that may not make sense at the time.

So when I wish to flee the scene, I am invited to make the best of it by standing my ground. And instead of bewailing the situation and allowing it to drain me, to look at it with a fresh set of eyes. Really grin, not just grit my teeth, and bear it. Bear it with good grace such that I eventually begin to see the merits of the situation. Did Saint Paul not say love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things?

Pia Attard quoted a line from Thomas Merton's Seed of Contemplation that is both profound and inspiring: There is a hidden wholeness in everything.

She encouraged PCC participants to live out a spirituality of imperfection for we are all called to wholeness and not perfection as the world sees it. Saint Paul proclaimed God's power is made perfect in our weakness, thus God's grace alone is sufficient.

It is only in my weakness that I seek for God strength.

It is only in my poverty that I seek for His richness.

It is only in my sin, that I seek for the Lord's mercy.

It is only in the seeking that I open my heart to receiving divine graces, and I open the door to wholeness, a wholeness that reveals the incredible beauty of Christ's suffering face in His redemptive act of love.

I, too, then, can be an instrument of redemptive grace and inject unimaginable richness in my life through my yes. It doesn't require me to be perfect, just to be honest with myself, vulnerable, and open to following Jesus.

In attempting to weather the hard blows and difficult life situations with the grace Jesus did in His life, the hidden wholeness will surface slowly, but surely. And even if it doesn't, I know it is there, and that, in itself, is enough. Therefore I need to continuously undergo kenosis, the self-emptying of my own will in order to receive His divine will, thereby enabling a constant flow of metanoia, a transformative change of heart.

Pia shared Saint Bernard of Claivaux's four degrees of love that we all, I believe, experience concomitantly even as we aspire to live out the fourth degree most fully:

1. Loving yourself for your own sake.
2. Loving God for your own sake.
3. Loving God for God's sake.
4. Loving yourself for God's sake.

When I can receive and wholly embody the love the Father has for me, then I am able to love myself as He loves me. Secure in my 'belovedness', I can mature into the being He created me to be. My brokenness can also be the space where He enters to bring wholeness to others. I just have to say yes to it, a wholeness that may remain hidden.

Our yeses power our actions of daily living, whether we are faithful to what we believe in, and whether we are able to rise above our own personal fears to act with integrity consistently. So make it a good resounding yes today. 

The Wounded Healer

I am not perfect.
And I will never be perfect
But that's okay.
In actual fact I am quite broken
Messed up
And more than a little quirky 
Good thing my Father really loves me
Greatly, and unconditionally
He dotes on me constantly
Calls me His delight
In His sight, I am precious
A priceless pearl
Me!
I am a child of God.
So no matter where I go or what I do
If I keep running to Him
I can celebrate my belovedness
Gain and regain strength in my weakness
Untold riches in my poverty
And in my sins I find His mercy
My imperfect cracks are gilded over
Made beauteous gifts that I can share
I can set the world on fire*
Just be being me _
Imagine that!
The imperfect, wounded one 
Who brings Christ to all.

NB   I am part of the team running the Pastoral Care Course comprising ICPE Mission Companions from all over the world, together with our brothers and sisters from the Earthen Vessels Catholic Community here in Singapore. It's a five-day course that ends tomorrow and it has been wonderful learning how to Empower the Wounded Healer inside each of us.

* inspired by Saint Catherine of Siena

Living with heart

P was sharing that when it came to healthcare, there is the heart and the art, besides the science of medicine. A good physician is one who has all three in the right proportions so that his or her patients will respond positively, to treatment both physically as well as psychologically.

Good doctors not only use their medical knowledge and skills to heal patients but they are able to build a relationship of trust with each patient, bringing reassurance and hope as well as the buy-in from each patient to do their utmost to restore their own bodies to health.

The danger is when a doctor loses heart and becomes jaded. All actions become mechanical and the practice of medicine becomes mere science, a depersonalized process lacking any soul. The loss of heart, and art, not only affects the physician's patients, but all he or she comes into contact with - colleagues, juniors, families, the entire healthcare system. The loss of heart taints everyone and everything.

Heart, or passion, is fundamental to everything we do in life, especially when it comes to our vocations and our ministries. When we are fired up with passion, our hearts are purest, we are unafraid and undeterred by obstacles; we have clear focus and we pour all our energies into hours of studying and practising skills to become good at what we do.

As practitioners, leaders or ministers, we continue to sacrifice comfort and personal wellbeing in order to help others. We aim to serve others always. We hone and use our skills so that others may benefit most. We keep on learning. And we maintain open and humble hearts to keep on running the race. We become people who inspire others to become like us: to live the art and science of being with heart.

It is not easy to remain unsullied by fame, fortune, position and power for when one is good at what one does, the attendant approbation and material rewards can change motivations and dispositions. Then there is the required staying power, the sheer grit to just keep plodding along when the going gets tough. When one loses heart, which invariably happens, how does one regain it?

I have a personal prayer which grew from the years where I turned my back on God and found myself in desperate and straitened circumstances. Because I could not experience the peace and joy of having Him in my life, I sought a purity of heart that would give me the ability to see Him again in my life. When I came back to the Lord and surrendered my life, I prayed daily that I would always be able to see His face and hear His voice in my life so as to always know where I should go. I know that if everything I am, all that I do is in God alone, then He will always teach me to walk with integrity and act with passion, compassion and wisdom.

I won't say that I do not lose heart in life, or grow a little deaf from time to time., for when the winds blow a little stronger, and the waves rise a little higher, fear does enter my heart. I am not good enough. I cannot do this. Who am I kidding - others are so much better than I am, how can I possibly make a difference?  Here is where I am called to come back to the correct disposition of heart, to return to the One in whom I live and move and have my being.

Matthew 6:33 encourages: Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. In some Bible translations it says set your heart on the kingdom of heaven. So set your heart on Jesus. When your heart is in the right place, you will have faith that moves mountains and transforms a multitude of hearts. Just as there is a science of being, there is an art of being that can only expand by being refined by the Maker Himself.