Like a little child

And so I have reached the end of a fast-flowing, ever-changing and full year. The year 2018 has been wonderful and horrible in parts, full of joy and laughter, but also tears and mourning. In short, it was a good year.

It is therefore fitting to end the year in the spirit of Christmas, which means to rejoice at the hope of my salvation, and the joy of the Word made flesh. Jesus is born, not just over 2,000 years ago in Bethlehem, but today, in my heart, and as a child of God, and Bride of Christ, I give thanks that light and joy are my inheritance. I can, therefore, be joyous even in trials, and I think I have managed to lift up and lighten dark moments in the last year; bringing peace and harmony where it is needed. 

Certainly I can do better, and I would like to think that all my tears of frustration and pain shed over the months have borne fruit, given me wisdom and new insights while enriching the tapestry of my life, making it more beautiful and pleasurable to my Father. 

Just observing how the little grandson has been growing has been educational. No wonder Jesus tells us to be like little children in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. J simply is, and because he just is, he is a delight. He is a truly happy baby, full of curiosity and awe at the world around him. He brings joy because he smiles with such sweetness and laughs with such unrestrained glee. He does not acknowledge failure and the countless times he stumbles or falls on his tiny bottom despite wanting to stand up does not deter his indefatigable spirit. He knows what he wants and likes, and communicates it quite clearly. He has no filters and when he shows affection it feels as if you have won a prize for you know it is genuine, unadulterated love. He is joy personified. Aside from learning about joy, freedom, contentment, wonder, curiosity, perseverance and love from him, I have watched his teething pains with interest. 

First of all, teething pains are real and truly a pain. They cause great discomfort and happen from time to time as his little teeth erupt from the gums. So the truth is that growing up and growing involves pain, and it is not a one-shot deal but a process of a lifetime, so it seems.

Growing pains are part and parcel of life no matter what stage of life we are in. Even when we reach adulthood we never stop growing, one hopes not just sideways, but also in our dreams and aspirations as well as our mental and emotional maturation.  

So to expect life to be painless is unrealistic for the dynamism inherent in living, both the biological and metaphysical aspects require us to struggle and evolve all the time. Do not run from the pain, neither obsess about or wallow in it, but accept it as part of the process and mine the wisdom all painful experiences offer. The pain will pass as my father used to say. Instead, find the joy in the pain, the little treasures of pure gold. As my SD told me this year: make it a joyful love, not a painful or difficult love, even when loving cuts you to the core. This is one of my nuggets from 2018.

Loving the people around me deeply and wholeheartedly can be painful at times, but I can choose to respond in an easy and joy-filled manner. 

I can choose to bring a comforting peace into fear and sorrow; walk always towards the light of Christ and be the witness of light rather than be defeated by the surrounding darkness.

I can choose to turn the other cheek in conflict, forgive and bring harmony rather than a harsh justice to the situation. Being right isn’t everything, but being loving is. 

I can choose to die to my hurts and fears and act inspired by the Holy Spirit. Mercy is the water and fertiliser needed to bring about new life where only barrenness was found. 

I can choose to be patient and assiduous in my efforts, allowing God to come into the dead spaces to breathe His brand of mysterious miracles, making the impossible possible. Wait on Him, even if it takes years...

I do not know what the new year holds but I do know that joy will feature a great deal. I will live as Baby J does, knowing I am greatly loved and trusting fully in the goodness of God as demonstrated by the people around me. I thank God for all I have received in this year, the very many gifts, and I await with eagerness the new year.