Fifteen years on

I still remember the look in your eyes

The incipient sadness, hinting of defeat

So unlike your usual cocky self

Full of fight and steely determination

Your will, slowly eaten away by the cancer

That wielded a catastrophic toll 

A shell of a body, loose skin and bone

With petrified lungs, voice silenced 

You sat, waiting for death to intervene

We stood, and watched the futile battle

Drowning in helpless rage and sorrow.

I am bereft once again today

What would I have done differently? 

Would I have dared to say I love you?

Told you how much I would miss you...pining for you

Time heals all wounds, they say - what a crock! 

We merely paint on masks to hide the
Unseemly cracks of a bleeding, broken heart
Bottling up acrid regrets and searing grief.

You would be happy today if you were here

Your deepest wish for me has been fulfilled

God heard your fervent prayer (He truly did)

I am sure you would have liked him immensely

Loved him, even, for making me incredibly happy

My only consolation for now is this:

We will meet, once again, in eternal life

Join together never to part again.

Till then, I thank you, for giving me life,

Your high cheekbones and righteous, generous heart

Happy birthday Daddy.