Past lessons

As always I cannot believe how the year has just gone by in such a flash. And once again, I am left with a sense of sadness and regret mingled with a sense of accomplishment and gratitude for how my days have unfolded.

My biggest achievement this year was my silent retreat for it jump-started my sleeping soul to awake from the torpor it had been in for many months.

I am profoundly grateful for such a WOW experience of God, an incredibly insightful and wonderful second naivete.

Even now, eight weeks later, I feel more centred and integrated, with a rejuvenated sense of mission.

The year 2010 has been a year of many losses, a melange of people and personalities who have touched my life are now gone. I still grieve with those who are left behind, for the void is still palpable in the lives of the living.

What these losses, and my May surgery, have taught me is to value the time I have with those I love. Every meeting, every opportunity to connect with someone, be it my mother or an ex-colleague, is precious.

This heightened sense of awareness leads me to treasure life as I live it and to express gratitude for every experience, good and bad.

Our bodies require a balanced lifestyle - frequent exercise and a moderate diet - to remain in homeostasis optimally. I have never felt this more so than now when my body protests any abuse quite vocally.

Although my energy levels are almost back to normal, I must still watch how I push my body for it does not like it when I disconnect mind and body when under fire.

My wish for next year is that I reside more in my body and that I treat it with greater respect than I currently do.

I have also come to the realization that no matter how hard I try, my life will always be busy and trying to do everything I want to will always be a huge juggling act.

The only thing I can do, to safeguard my psychic and emotional well-being, is to ensure I schedule me time into the equation. And more importantly, quiet time with the Lord.

He is the centre of my life and when I do not live out this truth, I always end up untrue to myself for I lose clarity as I meander down a deviated pathway.

As I cherish and nourish my relationship with my Saviour, I intend to continue strengthening the bonds I have with the people around me.

Take what I have begun this year, build on it and move all my relationships to a deeper and more satisfying level of interaction.

And this is how I will honour the past of my mistakes and accomplishments, my joys and sorrows, my losses and gains; to take everything experienced, dissect it and reflect on how to learn from it. Then map and execute a course of action, every day.

I would like to walk a straighter path, and shine as a brighter light. With my past to help me, I know I can make it happen.