Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled and testified, “Amen, amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” John 13:21
Sin is a funny thing, you start small, merely bending the rules, but before you know it, you have stepped into quicksand and might even be breaking the law. It doesn’t even take very much or very long to get there. Soon you find yourself hiding in darkness.
Judas was a disciple, a follower of Christ, but he had dishonest tendencies, petty thievery. Sadly this caused him to have a wonky conscience and his greed eventually led to his betrayal of someone he obviously loved and respected. He later realizes the error of his ways but it is too late. Out of deep guilt and most probably horror, he throws the money away and he kills himself. Rather than go down that tragic route, it is better to acknowledge your sins and turn back to Christ whom we know is forgiving and compassionate. After all, Christ died to redeem us so you are already redeemed if you say yes to following Him.
True repentance means not sinning again in such a manner or to such a degree. On the way back to Christ we will, of course commit the same sins and fail repeatedly. But one hopes with time, things improve and we learn continence, ever honing new virtues. It takes great effort, abject humility, much prayer and the frequent availing of the sacraments, but it is possible to be better than you were yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that.
Keep on trying every new day, don’t give up like Judas did. Do not hide your sins as Judas did, layering one on top of the other. Painful as truths may be, they are also liberating so embrace God’s truth every day in repentance so that even if you betray the Lord, there is a way home, out of the darkness.
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