Two days ago, I awoke early morning to the incredibly loud thud of a body landing on top of a tiled roof and the sound of broken tiles clattering to the ground below. A woman had jumped off the 24th floor just minutes before 7am and landed on the roof of the sheltered walkway.
My immediate reaction was deep sadness when I finally knew what had happened and I prayed for the soul of this unknown woman. hoping that the police would be able to identify her soon and inform her family.
Then the questions came. Why? No matter how bad life is, it is not worth taking your own life, is it? Surely there is always a way out? As I pondered I became increasingly aware that I am truly blessed for I have never, at any point in my life thus far, experienced such agonizing despair and yawning loneliness that I would consider suicide as an option. I know I have the Lord to thank for this.
Even in periods when I turned away from God and His ways, distancing myself deliberately, I always knew that the Father was there for me and that He would walk with me through the darkest valleys of my life, a reassuring presence.
This inalienable belief in the Almighty's boundless and forgiving love is a gift I have always held within my grasp even if I have not always fully appreciated its value or respected its power. No matter what I do, however heinous or catastrophic, I know I will always be forgiven, never abandoned and deeply cherished; as long as I repent and turn to Jesus.
I also know this, that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, Saint Paul told the Philippians, and this statement has buoyed me through the worst days of my life with supernatural grace.
The other gift I have is my family history. I come from a family of survivors, people who have journeyed thousands of miles in search of a better life and have weathered privation, turbulent times and oppression without compromising their Christian principles.
I grew up knowing life may not be fair or easy, it may involve great suffering, but nothing can defeat me - not even rejection from people I know or love as long as I strive for truth, honesty, justice and love in everything I do.
My father taught me to walk to the beat of one drummer, the Almighty, and no other. This simplifies life for me, for as long as I keep His commandments, I can truthfully say I know the Father and hopefully, I also radiate the love of God to others in an encouraging manner (see 1 John 2:1-6).
We listened to A sharing the life of Saint Bernadette Friday evening and we were all amazed by Saint Bernadette's strength of character. She did not let the disapprobation that greeted her over Our Lady's apparitions to her shake her, nor did she allow the persecution she experienced from her Superior and fellow nuns faze her. She understood that her tribulations on earth did not define her and knew what she needed to do in order to persevere in her walk.
I must die to myself continually and accept trials without complaining. I work, I suffer and I love with no other witness than his heart. Anyone who is not prepared to suffer all for the Beloved and to do his will in all things is not worthy of the sweet name of Friend, for here below, Love without suffering does not exist.
What really struck me was this other quote of hers for it resonates with my own experience of tough times:
I shall spend every moment loving. One who loves does not notice her trials; or perhaps more accurately, she is able to love them.
In his homily today, Father Valerian spoke about what it means to witness: to die for the faith, to martyr oneself. Church Father Tertullian wrote that "the blood of martyrs is the seed of the Church" and Saint Bernadette exemplifies this with her life lived in quiet, undramatic but heroic service and humility.
I cannot pretend to understand what led to the woman taking her own life off the top of my residential block but I am humbled that because I know Jesus, I have the resources to overcome fear, loss, pain and suffering. And, I have a healthy perspective on suffering and the sanctity of life.
My hope from last Friday's disturbing experience is that I can share the joy I have found in my relationship with Jesus with others more effectively and help people understand that there is always a way out of darkness, a way to new life. Do not give up! His love can carry us through the worst of times. He is in our midst, a comforting and protective presence if we turn to Him and really look at Him with child-like trust in our eyes.
My immediate reaction was deep sadness when I finally knew what had happened and I prayed for the soul of this unknown woman. hoping that the police would be able to identify her soon and inform her family.
Then the questions came. Why? No matter how bad life is, it is not worth taking your own life, is it? Surely there is always a way out? As I pondered I became increasingly aware that I am truly blessed for I have never, at any point in my life thus far, experienced such agonizing despair and yawning loneliness that I would consider suicide as an option. I know I have the Lord to thank for this.
Even in periods when I turned away from God and His ways, distancing myself deliberately, I always knew that the Father was there for me and that He would walk with me through the darkest valleys of my life, a reassuring presence.
This inalienable belief in the Almighty's boundless and forgiving love is a gift I have always held within my grasp even if I have not always fully appreciated its value or respected its power. No matter what I do, however heinous or catastrophic, I know I will always be forgiven, never abandoned and deeply cherished; as long as I repent and turn to Jesus.
I also know this, that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, Saint Paul told the Philippians, and this statement has buoyed me through the worst days of my life with supernatural grace.
The other gift I have is my family history. I come from a family of survivors, people who have journeyed thousands of miles in search of a better life and have weathered privation, turbulent times and oppression without compromising their Christian principles.
I grew up knowing life may not be fair or easy, it may involve great suffering, but nothing can defeat me - not even rejection from people I know or love as long as I strive for truth, honesty, justice and love in everything I do.
My father taught me to walk to the beat of one drummer, the Almighty, and no other. This simplifies life for me, for as long as I keep His commandments, I can truthfully say I know the Father and hopefully, I also radiate the love of God to others in an encouraging manner (see 1 John 2:1-6).
I must die to myself continually and accept trials without complaining. I work, I suffer and I love with no other witness than his heart. Anyone who is not prepared to suffer all for the Beloved and to do his will in all things is not worthy of the sweet name of Friend, for here below, Love without suffering does not exist.
What really struck me was this other quote of hers for it resonates with my own experience of tough times:
I shall spend every moment loving. One who loves does not notice her trials; or perhaps more accurately, she is able to love them.
In his homily today, Father Valerian spoke about what it means to witness: to die for the faith, to martyr oneself. Church Father Tertullian wrote that "the blood of martyrs is the seed of the Church" and Saint Bernadette exemplifies this with her life lived in quiet, undramatic but heroic service and humility.
I cannot pretend to understand what led to the woman taking her own life off the top of my residential block but I am humbled that because I know Jesus, I have the resources to overcome fear, loss, pain and suffering. And, I have a healthy perspective on suffering and the sanctity of life.
My hope from last Friday's disturbing experience is that I can share the joy I have found in my relationship with Jesus with others more effectively and help people understand that there is always a way out of darkness, a way to new life. Do not give up! His love can carry us through the worst of times. He is in our midst, a comforting and protective presence if we turn to Him and really look at Him with child-like trust in our eyes.
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