In my last entry, Making crooked paths straight I wrote about how we are created to be in relationship with others. The downside to loving people is we lose them from time to time. And the experience of loss can be devastating for grieving is an unpredictable process that can never be explained.
Who knows why one day you are holding everything together, while the next, you are in pieces, scattered all over the floor.
All it takes is a song, the sight of his mug, ever the slightest hint of association and you crumble into a weepy mess. It is impossible! You wonder how long you have to endure feeling so bad and why you actually feel so bad, especially if your relationship with this person was far from ideal.
A very dear friend of mine lost her husband to cancer recently and she has been having a really tough time, especially because she was the primary caregiver and saw him through the last agonizing days of his life.
When I am with her, I can only sit with her and feel her sorrow, send waves of unspoken empathy. Words of comfort are inadequate so I do not even bother to try. I can only attempt to make her laugh or smile. And, of course, I pray.
Time IS a healer so I can only pray that she will not immerse herself so deeply in grief that she stays frozen in it, or spirals down into depression. I also pray that God will continue to despatch angels her way to light up the darkness so she will not stumble and hurt herself too badly.
My hope is that she turns to Jesus in those unendurable moments and lets Him carry her burdens for His yoke is indeed easy and His burden light and it is in Him alone that we can find rest.
Although she will never "recover" from the loss completely (we never ever do), the scars she bears will strengthen her. She will find out eventually that she will not only survive this loss, but will actually be happy again. She will also be better able to appreciate the blessings of life and feel joy more keenly.
Because she bore witness to her marital vows and cared for a man who was difficult to love, to the very end; because she rose above her own fears and inadequacies to minister to him, while juggling her duties as mother; because she gave it her all to be compassionate and caring even though she was running on empty, she will experience reaping with shouts of joy... in time.
Meanwhile, she must hold fast to Jesus and walk through the valley of darkness, knowing that the Good Shepherd will lead her to greener pastures. Patience and perseverance are, thus, the order of the day, and lots of Kleenex.
What helped me grieve past the worst was reading somewhere that every tear you weep is not wasted, for every tear can be a prayer which God sees and hears, an offering of love that becomes a blessing for the departed, and those left behind.
Who knows why one day you are holding everything together, while the next, you are in pieces, scattered all over the floor.
All it takes is a song, the sight of his mug, ever the slightest hint of association and you crumble into a weepy mess. It is impossible! You wonder how long you have to endure feeling so bad and why you actually feel so bad, especially if your relationship with this person was far from ideal.
A very dear friend of mine lost her husband to cancer recently and she has been having a really tough time, especially because she was the primary caregiver and saw him through the last agonizing days of his life.
When I am with her, I can only sit with her and feel her sorrow, send waves of unspoken empathy. Words of comfort are inadequate so I do not even bother to try. I can only attempt to make her laugh or smile. And, of course, I pray.
Time IS a healer so I can only pray that she will not immerse herself so deeply in grief that she stays frozen in it, or spirals down into depression. I also pray that God will continue to despatch angels her way to light up the darkness so she will not stumble and hurt herself too badly.
My hope is that she turns to Jesus in those unendurable moments and lets Him carry her burdens for His yoke is indeed easy and His burden light and it is in Him alone that we can find rest.
Although she will never "recover" from the loss completely (we never ever do), the scars she bears will strengthen her. She will find out eventually that she will not only survive this loss, but will actually be happy again. She will also be better able to appreciate the blessings of life and feel joy more keenly.
Because she bore witness to her marital vows and cared for a man who was difficult to love, to the very end; because she rose above her own fears and inadequacies to minister to him, while juggling her duties as mother; because she gave it her all to be compassionate and caring even though she was running on empty, she will experience reaping with shouts of joy... in time.
Meanwhile, she must hold fast to Jesus and walk through the valley of darkness, knowing that the Good Shepherd will lead her to greener pastures. Patience and perseverance are, thus, the order of the day, and lots of Kleenex.
What helped me grieve past the worst was reading somewhere that every tear you weep is not wasted, for every tear can be a prayer which God sees and hears, an offering of love that becomes a blessing for the departed, and those left behind.
Tears are like angel's trumpets that cry out to the Lord in pain.
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