Someone asked the question last night, "How do I know I have a personal friendship with God?" for Father David had stressed to us that Christian love is personal friendship with God and if we did not remember anything else from this course, he wanted us to at least retain this Aquinas gem.
Father D.'s answer got a little cheem (esoteric), or maybe I was tired, but I did kinda get it, even though I would not be able to tell you what he said.
I got it because I do have a personal friendship with God. How do I know this? Because He has shown me He loves me in very concrete ways, in ways that when I connect the dots backwards, I see His hand in the twists and turns of my life's journey.
To honour this friendship that holds first place in my heart, I have tried my best to give Him carte blanche, to allow Him to lead and to thus infuse my faith, hope and love with grace, unmerited and divine.
And He has. How else would I have been able step out of my comfort zone and be radical in my life choices and succeed?
I am happy for I feel I am living my life meaningfully, as it should be lived. I am free to be who I am and I like that I have let go of fears and distortions that held me captive for so long.
Best of all, when I am unsure or confused, I know I can make the right choices for me when I abandon myself to His wisdom.
He talks to me through the inner workings of my heart. I am a person who is led very much by intuition, and so when I feel strongly about something, I know it is from Him.
This does not mean I go by emotion alone for my decisions in life are a collective effort and integration of my reason, will and emotion. And they are borne out by the good fruit that follow (else it ain't from God but just voices in my head).
I spend a lot of time and psychic energy seeking truth, trying to understand and experience first-hand why dogma and Church teachings are beautiful, God-inspired ways of life. Living it and liking it more and more.
Yesterday at lunch S. said to me, "You working on getting to heaven?" when I said I was going reverse carolling in December.
The answer to her question is no for I don't really give a hoot about going to heaven. Well yeah, I do want to get to heaven but my chief motivation for being good or doing good is not spiritual brownie points: it is my relationship with Jesus and pushing it to a new and deeper level, all the time.
My singular prayer in life is that I should always be able to see His face and hear His voice. This requires purity of heart, a purity I once lost, and it left me lost and desolate for a long time. I was in hellish limbo and I don't ever want to go there again.
Purity of heart demands that I choose not only good over evil but better over good, and even if it flies in the face of convention and comes at great personal cost.
Having regained the ability to know what He wants on such a lively and intimate level, I will do my utmost to maintain this friendly status.
In FB speak, I will never defriend Him.
Father D.'s answer got a little cheem (esoteric), or maybe I was tired, but I did kinda get it, even though I would not be able to tell you what he said.
I got it because I do have a personal friendship with God. How do I know this? Because He has shown me He loves me in very concrete ways, in ways that when I connect the dots backwards, I see His hand in the twists and turns of my life's journey.
To honour this friendship that holds first place in my heart, I have tried my best to give Him carte blanche, to allow Him to lead and to thus infuse my faith, hope and love with grace, unmerited and divine.
And He has. How else would I have been able step out of my comfort zone and be radical in my life choices and succeed?
I am happy for I feel I am living my life meaningfully, as it should be lived. I am free to be who I am and I like that I have let go of fears and distortions that held me captive for so long.
Best of all, when I am unsure or confused, I know I can make the right choices for me when I abandon myself to His wisdom.
He talks to me through the inner workings of my heart. I am a person who is led very much by intuition, and so when I feel strongly about something, I know it is from Him.
This does not mean I go by emotion alone for my decisions in life are a collective effort and integration of my reason, will and emotion. And they are borne out by the good fruit that follow (else it ain't from God but just voices in my head).
I spend a lot of time and psychic energy seeking truth, trying to understand and experience first-hand why dogma and Church teachings are beautiful, God-inspired ways of life. Living it and liking it more and more.
Yesterday at lunch S. said to me, "You working on getting to heaven?" when I said I was going reverse carolling in December.
The answer to her question is no for I don't really give a hoot about going to heaven. Well yeah, I do want to get to heaven but my chief motivation for being good or doing good is not spiritual brownie points: it is my relationship with Jesus and pushing it to a new and deeper level, all the time.
My singular prayer in life is that I should always be able to see His face and hear His voice. This requires purity of heart, a purity I once lost, and it left me lost and desolate for a long time. I was in hellish limbo and I don't ever want to go there again.
Purity of heart demands that I choose not only good over evil but better over good, and even if it flies in the face of convention and comes at great personal cost.
Having regained the ability to know what He wants on such a lively and intimate level, I will do my utmost to maintain this friendly status.
In FB speak, I will never defriend Him.
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