It is well with my soul

During my cell group meeting some Mondays ago, S commented that she felt the love of the community during the covenant celebration for everyone was just pitching in and doing what needed to be done so that it was a beautiful and meaningful Eucharistic celebration and ceremony. She was greatly edified. Being a busy mum herself, she was touched that K and S who are busy working mothers had taken time off their busy schedules to paint and create personalised gifts for those who were taking their covenant or commitment. 

She contrasted it with past experience, where instead of cheerfully working together to get things done, people tended to avoid responsibility, especially for thankless jobs like putting out chairs and cleaning up after. 

I guess I am very blessed for I hit pay dirt the first time. I can still remember clearly when I arrived in Bangalore for the Pastoral Counselling School in 2003, how the smiling, friendly face of G greeted me at the retreat centre where we were staying and subsequently how everyone was so warm and hospitable. 

I felt accepted and loved for who I was, part of God’s family. I felt at home in the company of strangers which was a novel and wondrous experience for being highly introverted, I am never very comfortable with lots of people, especially strangers. E was the only person I knew there. It was the modelling of Christian love amongst the missionaries and attendees that showed me how the early Christian communities must have loved each other and those around them post-Pentecost. So this is how much God loves me, and this experience of the Father’s all-merciful love meant one thing only, I wished to dwell in the presence of the Lord, in His courts all the days of my life. 

So I found community and ministry, not just with the ICPE Mission, but within my parish as well. I was equally blessed to work alongside great people wherever I was involved. A and K showed me how mature Christian women bore witness to the world. Their deep love and passion for Jesus was infectious and inspiring. D and P revealed to me how good Christian men served the Lord with selfless integrity and gentleness, so unlike my experience of men who were selfish and harsh. No road is too rocky, no menial task so unpleasant, no hardship so insurmountable that it would be avoided or arrowed*. 

We go on mission, as Father Greg pointed out, with Jesus. Yoked with Him, things can be easy, our burden light. This does not exclude difficulties and suffering, far from it, for a follower of Christ has a cross, as Christ had one. But if we are willing to take up our cross and follow Him, we know, with surety, that the cross will always triumph and death will give way to resurrection. We know that eternal life will be rewarding because we ourselves have been privileged to have tasted the sweetness here. 

I first tasted God’s merciful, nurturing love in Bangalore and I was hooked. I finally realized my identity as a child of God and it was awesome. I discovered that Father God had always been looking out for me. Jesus had always been there, calling me by name, waiting for me to turn around and recognize Him. I was finally able to fully receive the gift of the Holy Spirit given to me at baptism and confirmation, and to allow Him to direct my days.

When one attempts to live in the Spirit, one is given insight to know what is the better option in any given situation, and to have the necessary strength of character to take it... eventually. Over the years, I have found myself able to make unselfish choices without resentment because my only desire is for the Lord’s goodness. It is still an uphill battle for knowing and doing are two separate things altogether.

Knowing what Jesus wants can be a burden at times; spirits do flag, dark nights do exist, and it can seem unfair and impossible to keep having to choose the better part. There are days I complain haven’t I done enough, why is it me who has to be the bigger person, who has to be magnanimous? Why? Must I keep giving my two mites, my livelihood, can’t I just reserve some for myself? 

I tend to forget that whenever I am generous with God, He outmatches me in generosity. His love is like the pouring rain last night, coming down in sheets of luscious raindrops, watering the arid soil of my soul such that it is well with my soul. Nothing can shake me. As D would say steady pom pi  pi. I am also reminded of the story of how Horatio Spafford who penned the classic hymn It is well with my soul wrote the beautiful lyrics after he himself suffered the death of his son, financial ruin, and, finally, the death of all his four daughters in an accident at sea.

Tragedy, loss and suffering cannot overcome us. Hardship and hard work are a given in this life, and yet, there are hidden joys and many benefits in overcoming hardship and doing a job well. So we stand and face our giants. We cast the puny stone with stout heart and the deadly accuracy given to us by the Holy Spirit when we reside within Him.

Cultivating a true missionary spirit such as Spafford had, and all the saints that have gone before us, requires only one thing: keeping our hearts, mind, soul and strength on Jesus; loving Him to the death of our selfish tendencies, our egos, so that we take on His demeanour when we love others. 

Through it all, whatever will come, we are saved by faith and trust in Jesus. When we internalize that faith and trust, we become great missionaries who are not afraid to humble ourselves and go the extra mile to the very end, wherever He leads us. This is how we can then love everyone in our families and our communities, armed with the supernatural grace of the Spirit. On our own, we are nothing, and we can accomplish nothing. With Him, all and everything is within our reach, very possible. 

* To wrangle out of and shoot across an undesirable task to someone else, making it their responsibility.