I have married a mountain man, not a cave man, even though he sometimes grunts and gestures instead of using speech (okay, I get it, it’s a man thing, and it reveals how comfortable he is with me so I am grateful even if I find it slightly annoying when I am not sure what he wants). Anyways, I cannot effuse enough about how wonderful it is to be loved by a mountain man, henceforth known as MM for both the singular and plural forms.
During my last community meeting, I thanked my spiritual brothers for their MMness - I have learned and grown much these past years. That I am happily married today is a testament to them for my community brothers have given me the necessary courage and hope to take the plunge. I shared with them again the main reservation I had on joining the community formation six years ago was that there were men in the community. I have always felt ill at ease and guarded around men, and it was a huge challenge to be transparent and vulnerable with men for fear of being hurt, oppressed or used. It is these godly men I call brothers who have shown me what good men are truly like, and they have showered me with gentle, fraternal affection and affirmed my femininity such that I now know how to communicate with other men in a healthier fashion.
Then along came P when I was much better able to relate to a spouse in a more positive and an enriching manner. He was, is, my main MM, the man Scripture speaks about in Psalm 24, worthy of climbing the mountain of the Lord and standing before Him; whose clean hands and pure heart honour God every day in thought, word and deed. We are close to 22 months of marriage and I still wonder at how the Lord could make so wonderfully straight the crooked lines of our past decisions and previous lives.
Sure, we can rub each other the wrong way at times, and we can mulishly hold onto our own opinions, but when I look at him, I see this delightful man God has created, who turns my insides into mush with his tender, generous lovingness and sweet, quiet respect. He is so what I need to be the woman God has created me to be; with him, I aspire to be, and I am a better person because of him. He challenges my views, preferences and prejudices gently, building me up at the same time.
Central to our marriage is the divine grace we receive daily through our faithfulness to God. In daily mass and personal prayer, we seek the heart of Jesus constantly in all our choices. The spillover effect is the ability to somehow cut through any couple paranoia or friction, obvious and invisible, and eventually arrive at wanting the good of the other in relevant and efficacious ways. Where forgiveness is required, it is given unstintingly, without reservation.
MM are men who have real and living relationships with Jesus which translates into loving and caring relationships with those around them. They are spouses and fathers who look after the home, keeping it in order, protecting their families against evil.They assert their moral authority, guided by the Holy Spirit and they emulate the preeminent MM, Jesus Christ, as best they can, in the workplace and at home. They are Good Samaritans offering help where needed. They are the doers and fixers of society, bringing light into the darkness. They bring diversity and colour to the world with their many talents.
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