Death-defying thoughts

Just yesterday, two people I met separately shared with me about the recent deaths of people they knew. Over the weekend there were two wakes and one funeral to attend recounted J, while R, whom I have not seen in a year imparted the news of the death of her aunt in June.

Although I sometimes like to state this pithily: We are all dying - death, my death, is something I do think about occasionally and reflect on how I feel about it. Right now, I am very comfortable with death and ready to go any time for as the lyrics of Matt Redman’s Endless Hallelujah proclaims:

No more tears, no more shame

No more sin or sorrow ever known again

No more fears, no more pain

We will see You face to face

There is nothing more that I desire than to stand before Jesus and not just be able to see His face and hear His voice, but to finally sit at His feet, leaning adoringly against His knees. I would like to hear Him say to me good and faithful servant, my dearest daughter, my Beloved. So what gets me going every morning are the new opportunities to be His hands and feet to all I meet; to enjoy those I meet in the day, to be in the moment, and to, in turn, make their day better from having had an encounter with me. 

If I have used my gifts and talents meaningfully, then I would have glorified Him by making Him known to others. Of course, I need to stay grounded and humble, to remember any success of making His kingdom known is not by my effort or strength, but His. Like Saint Therese of Lisieux, I would like to spend my heaven doing good on earth in little, hidden ways, unnoticed, unremarked by all but Jesus. 

These are lofty aspirations* I know, and I also know that when I am truly faced with impending death, I may feel quite differently. As of now, I can deal with the prospect of death quite equably. It is the mortality of those I love that I find most difficult, where my greatest fears lay. My most “selfish” prayers concern my loved ones:

• Please let them be with me for a greater portion of my life, rather than less. 
• Let their deaths not be sudden, give us time to say our goodbyes well, and yet, do not let them suffer, Lord. 
• Let them die in a dignified and peaceful manner, no prolonged stays in hospital (no ICU) wasting away, hooked up to machines and unconscious. 
• Allow us quality time.

Certainly the last prayer rests entirely on me, my efforts to make time for those I love, and to ensure that when I am with them, I am truly present, and we are enriched by our time together. This is no easy thing when I am, most of the time, physically exhausted, my mind racing ahead to tackle future tasks, or when I get fixated on the doing well and forget the being well. As my SD likes to say, begin the day with a simple prayer that will carry you along: Show me how to love today. Sound advice I try to adhere to daily.

Some final thoughts on death: 

• We are all pilgrims on a journey to eternal life and happiness. 
• Some companions will be with us for practically our whole lives, while others for certain seasons. Allow God to dictate the seasons and dress accordingly, savouring each season with all our sensibilities. 
• Give Hm thanks for every good thing we experience in our relationships, acknowledging that even the bad things are good. Forgive quickly to avoid regrets, or becoming a bitter, brittle person. 
• Love Him fully by loving others wholeheartedly and vulnerably, without fear of being hurt.
• Grieving need not be tragic, for grief can give birth to wisdom, joy, and even new life.
• Death does not have the final word, Jesus promised that if we believe in Him, we will live, even though we die; and whoever lives by believing in Him will never die. 
• Last of all, hold everything, and everyone, lightly in your hands, the best is yet to be - something I tell myself every day. 

So death, be not proud, you are but one small step closer to Jesus. A very good thing. 

* Any aspiration worth having must needs be lofty by nature, if not, it should not be called an aspiration.