W asked me, how do you know that P is THE one? I suppose we all seek for formulae or prescriptions when looking for love, especially when it comes to the ultimate expression of love between man and woman, the permanent bond of marriage. As I tried my best to explain, I realize that my answer although part rational, part practical, part intuitive, also had a huge spiritual component to it, and, ultimately had an element of blind faith. Any marriage is a leap of faith no matter how the couple arrive at the altar, and it requires many more leaps of faith to keep it going strong, especially when the relationship encounters the troughs that it will.
I recently read an article that debunked the idea God chose our mates for us for it would mean we could not exercise the gift of freedom and that we would discount love in the decision, among the many reasons. I smiled when I read this for whether or not we agree God chooses someone for each of us, it is not as clear cut as all that.
When I initially realized that P could be the one that God has placed before me as husband material, the romantic in me rebelled against the idea that we, as a couple, out of obedience to God, would marry. It was too clinical. P was dead sure and while it was nice to be pursued by a man who knew what and who he wanted, I did not want to be the one he chose just because the Father said I chose her for you. He needed to choose me for himself, and I, him. I liked the idea of God being our matchmaker for it gave me such reassurance, and yet, where is my freedom in all this, where is the romance? Here is also why men will never understand women, we like to complicate things.
P commented to me last night, the Lord can be mischievous, and he's right. As we got to know each other better, as we prayed individually for our own signs to confirm that the relationship was right, as we remained biddable to His promptings, He did a number on us, we fell in love, a dangerous (love being blind), but I'd like to think necessary state of being as we journey toward marriage.
I like many things about P. In many areas we are compatible, similar. We also have the same goals and aspirations, we are guided by the same principles in life, and what we want for our life together is to joyfully consecrate our lives to Jesus. So marriage is a choice we have arrived at freely. Even though we know Jesus, through His mother, has been instrumental in bringing us together, we have counted the costs, we know each other's weaknesses, our differences, and we clearly see the obstacles ahead. And, we still say yes to each other. We have grown to love each other, and we trust that in Christ, we will always find our way in our walk of life together.
So how do I know P is the one? When I 'see' him, the essence of the man he is, he strikes a tender chord within me. He moves me and evokes a profound response in me, a deep calling unto deep that I struggle to put into words. To put it simply, I love him for the flawed, broken, imperfect man he is, the one who still tries hard to be good every day, the man after God's own heart, who moves in His Spirit. What's more, he makes me smile. He makes me laugh.
In practical terms I know that P is the one because he loves and respects me for who I am and what I stand for. He gives me the freedom and space to breathe and grow. He does not try to change me and he supports me in all my endeavours. I, of course, try to reciprocate fully. We both want what is best for the other and we are happy to make the necessary sacrifices for each other's well-being. We do not use each other, and we take delight in the other's presence. Love for the long haul must be honest, truthful, unselfish, generous, self-giving, forgiving, caring and nurturing. If a man cannot be all this, especially in the initial stages of the relationship, best walk away. He is probably not the one. It is as simple as that. Hope this helps, W.
I recently read an article that debunked the idea God chose our mates for us for it would mean we could not exercise the gift of freedom and that we would discount love in the decision, among the many reasons. I smiled when I read this for whether or not we agree God chooses someone for each of us, it is not as clear cut as all that.
When I initially realized that P could be the one that God has placed before me as husband material, the romantic in me rebelled against the idea that we, as a couple, out of obedience to God, would marry. It was too clinical. P was dead sure and while it was nice to be pursued by a man who knew what and who he wanted, I did not want to be the one he chose just because the Father said I chose her for you. He needed to choose me for himself, and I, him. I liked the idea of God being our matchmaker for it gave me such reassurance, and yet, where is my freedom in all this, where is the romance? Here is also why men will never understand women, we like to complicate things.
P commented to me last night, the Lord can be mischievous, and he's right. As we got to know each other better, as we prayed individually for our own signs to confirm that the relationship was right, as we remained biddable to His promptings, He did a number on us, we fell in love, a dangerous (love being blind), but I'd like to think necessary state of being as we journey toward marriage.
I like many things about P. In many areas we are compatible, similar. We also have the same goals and aspirations, we are guided by the same principles in life, and what we want for our life together is to joyfully consecrate our lives to Jesus. So marriage is a choice we have arrived at freely. Even though we know Jesus, through His mother, has been instrumental in bringing us together, we have counted the costs, we know each other's weaknesses, our differences, and we clearly see the obstacles ahead. And, we still say yes to each other. We have grown to love each other, and we trust that in Christ, we will always find our way in our walk of life together.
So how do I know P is the one? When I 'see' him, the essence of the man he is, he strikes a tender chord within me. He moves me and evokes a profound response in me, a deep calling unto deep that I struggle to put into words. To put it simply, I love him for the flawed, broken, imperfect man he is, the one who still tries hard to be good every day, the man after God's own heart, who moves in His Spirit. What's more, he makes me smile. He makes me laugh.
In practical terms I know that P is the one because he loves and respects me for who I am and what I stand for. He gives me the freedom and space to breathe and grow. He does not try to change me and he supports me in all my endeavours. I, of course, try to reciprocate fully. We both want what is best for the other and we are happy to make the necessary sacrifices for each other's well-being. We do not use each other, and we take delight in the other's presence. Love for the long haul must be honest, truthful, unselfish, generous, self-giving, forgiving, caring and nurturing. If a man cannot be all this, especially in the initial stages of the relationship, best walk away. He is probably not the one. It is as simple as that. Hope this helps, W.
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