It's complicated is a term you hear applied to relationships between the opposite sex more and more.
Everywhere you turn you see the dissolution of marriages and exclusive relationships due to choices that do not honour commitment or fidelity.
Everyone wants a special someone in their lives, but how we pursue love has transformed dramatically for there seems to be an amoral, hedonistic grabbing at a cheap version of love which is founded first on lust or our own neediness.
It doesn't help that the concept of friends with benefits has entered the lexicon of relationships either, whereby couples scratch each other's sexual itches while disclaiming any emotional or spiritual involvement of the mutually exclusive kind.
I recently met someone whom I found attractive but at the same time I knew instantly that there can be no future other than a possible friendship. While on some level I mourn the death of something "special" before it can even start, I also welcome the possibility of getting to know this person as a fellow human being and appreciating him as a spiritual brother.
Friendship, pure, honest and simple is not the worst option in the world. Definitely less fallout in the aftermath of its demise. And with the boundaries of mutual respect and wisdom, I stand to benefit from a relationship that is uncomplicated yet brings pleasure.
I know there will be days I wish there could be more to this infatuation, but infatuation is by definition foolish, unreasoned and a libidinal response. So I will not walk down a path that will only lead to heartbreak.
There was a time when I would have subscribed strongly to half a loaf being better than none when it comes to love, but I have come to realize (after much painful experimentation) than mouldy bread gives me a stomach upset followed by the runs and leaves me unsatisfied and hankering for more.
I now choose safe and healthy for my body loves the wellbeing good digestion brings and the joy of functional relationships without the taint of addiction.
In all relationships, there is one rule of engagement that holds me in good stead, and that is to desire the good of the other. To be a friend without focusing on my own benefit, what's in it for me. To give and receive by that act of giving, rather than to grasp and grab.
Uncomplicated is not easy I'll grant, but it sure beats complicated and watching everything come to a messy and sorry end. I will take friendship with platonic benefits anytime.
Everywhere you turn you see the dissolution of marriages and exclusive relationships due to choices that do not honour commitment or fidelity.
Everyone wants a special someone in their lives, but how we pursue love has transformed dramatically for there seems to be an amoral, hedonistic grabbing at a cheap version of love which is founded first on lust or our own neediness.
It doesn't help that the concept of friends with benefits has entered the lexicon of relationships either, whereby couples scratch each other's sexual itches while disclaiming any emotional or spiritual involvement of the mutually exclusive kind.
I recently met someone whom I found attractive but at the same time I knew instantly that there can be no future other than a possible friendship. While on some level I mourn the death of something "special" before it can even start, I also welcome the possibility of getting to know this person as a fellow human being and appreciating him as a spiritual brother.
Friendship, pure, honest and simple is not the worst option in the world. Definitely less fallout in the aftermath of its demise. And with the boundaries of mutual respect and wisdom, I stand to benefit from a relationship that is uncomplicated yet brings pleasure.I know there will be days I wish there could be more to this infatuation, but infatuation is by definition foolish, unreasoned and a libidinal response. So I will not walk down a path that will only lead to heartbreak.
There was a time when I would have subscribed strongly to half a loaf being better than none when it comes to love, but I have come to realize (after much painful experimentation) than mouldy bread gives me a stomach upset followed by the runs and leaves me unsatisfied and hankering for more.
I now choose safe and healthy for my body loves the wellbeing good digestion brings and the joy of functional relationships without the taint of addiction.
In all relationships, there is one rule of engagement that holds me in good stead, and that is to desire the good of the other. To be a friend without focusing on my own benefit, what's in it for me. To give and receive by that act of giving, rather than to grasp and grab.
Uncomplicated is not easy I'll grant, but it sure beats complicated and watching everything come to a messy and sorry end. I will take friendship with platonic benefits anytime.
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