I've been experiencing a restlessness of heart which I've identified only recently and in seeking its reason, I realized it was linked to my stymied prayer life.
While I desire an even more intimate relationship with Jesus, my spirit has been distracted and I have not been giving this relationship the time and space to grow.
So it was clearly not by accident that I picked up Rolheiser's Forgotten Among the Lilies and began reading.
The book is a collection of essays on how to live a Christ-centred life beyond our fears, restlessness, passions and desires within the landscape of quotidian needs and demands.
It's a fab book that contains a wide berth of topics that are salient to everyday Christian living but I will not go into book review mode, except to say it is a highly recommended read.
Rolheiser quotes Socrates in several essays to underscore the importance of prayer and introspection: "The unexamined life is not worth living."
It made me realize that I have neglected a proper examen of consciousness* lately which has led to this void and left me wanting.
Ignatius of Loyola prescribed a "method" to find God in all things and examine how the Spirit moves in one's daily life in order to deepen the relationship with God.
It starts first with taking time out to be in the presence of God.
Then to give thanks for the day's specific and unique gifts.
Followed by a review of one's actions and attitudes in the Spirit of truth for better self-knowledge.
A playback of the day's events within the context of the internal movements of one's heart allows the opportunity for self-growth and a way forward to freedom from attachments and addictions.
Finally an intimate conversation with Jesus will allow resolution and inner peace, with an eye to future action.
During the International Women's Day thanksgiving mass last Saturday, Fr. Paul Staes remarked that we should not let circumstances dictate who we are for we are, each of us, invited by God to be perfect, just as Jesus was.
The challenge to be "perfect" is an interesting one for it would seem an impossible quest, to be blemish-free and/or complete, especially since to be human is to be imperfect.
Jesus seems to have pulled off this feat of perfection through prayer, never letting up on looking for opportunities to spend time with His Father, especially during the brief years of His ministry.
If we look at saints through the ages, they followed in Jesus' footsteps in this unrelenting appetite for prayer despite the seasons of dryness and trials that came into their lives.
This Lent, I am attempting to go with Rolheiser's recommended minimum of one hour set aside for prayer daily.
I do so want to be perfect for this perfect man in my life.
* See http://www.norprov.org/spirituality/ignatianprayer.htm for a more detailed explanation of the foundation of Ignatian prayer and a bookmark that helps one do the examen of consciousness daily.
