A father’s blessing

P and I just finished an online retreat yesterday run by the Montfort Centre called Paternal Heart which we decided to attend this year being the Year of Saint Joseph as declared by Pope Francis. It was an affirming time with the Father, not just God the Father, but also Saint Joseph, and my earthly father.  I would recommend this to anyone who is seeking to know more about the heart of the Father. It was truly a time of great blessing. 

And today being Father’s Day, I dedicate one of my retreat reflections to my father who is now in heaven with our Father.  

Thank you, Daddy, for loving me

In your special, broken way

Without your tough love I wouldn’t be

Who I am today, strong and fearless 

In love with the Father, Son and Spirit.

Yearning always to do what is right and good

In your eyes as reflected in His eyes. 

Thank you, Abba, for loving me

Through this gift of my father

His deep faith in you grew mine

A fruit of epic abundance.

We are blessed by your chesed*

Your breath of life that gave us both the space 

To run free into your waiting arms.

* Hebrew for loving kindness between people and God and vice versa.

Aloha nui loa

Remembering you this bright, sunny day

Sad relief mixed in with much gratitude 

At how your life was such a testament 

To Jesus and the way He loves so concretely;

How you made my life just that much lovelier 

The clarity you brought me with your loving wisdom.

Miss you dearest coz and wish you were here

Yet glad that you are with your Beloved now

And praying for all of us who need it.

Look forward to when I will see you again

Till then aloha nui loa*.

* Hawaiian for much love or all my love.

Father, Son and Spirit power

We just celebrated the Solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity, a feast day in praise of the gifts of God who is the Lover; the Son, Jesus, who is the Beloved; and the Holy Spirit who is Love. I like how Father Johan put it, the Spirit who is the personification of every act of love. I needn’t be so smug at every act of love performed successfully, it is the Holy Spirit working in me.

Pope Francis tweeted this: The Holy Spirit impels us to love not only those who love us and think as we do, but to love everyone, even as Jesus taught us. He enables us to forgive our enemies and the wrongs we have endured. He inspires us to be active and creative in love. 

This is the crux of Christian love, it is not just the acts of love that are easy to perform, for people whom we love and who love us in return, those are the low hanging fruit that pose no challenge spiritually. 

We are called to love as Jesus encouraged us to do and actually did: He forgave those who maliciously hurt Him in every way imaginable before putting Him to death. It is all not so easy to put into action. 

Inside of me is this internal voice that never keeps silent when I feel aggrieved, unhappy or dissatisfied with something or someone. It tells me how I should feel, what I should say, how I should react self-righteously and sometimes I do let it dictate my actions, but often to my regret for it is usually not the most loving thing to say or do. I often end up acting like a child with no impulse control. 

The better way, the hard way, is to take a moment in my rage and make the mature decision to die to self. This means disarming that inner voice and giving the Holy Spirit space to operate freely. The inspiration to act in love will come (pray, pray, pray away the anger and hurt). 

When I allow the Spirit to talk to me and He tells me what I should do, which I may do quite unwillingly, still disgruntled and outraged at the injustice done to me, I give the Spirit authority, power to stretch me out of egoistic self to always do the right thing. 

This is where the magic happens. What I say and do with the Holy Spirit acting in me often surprises me for I didn’t know I had that kind of love living within me. And, somehow, that act of love teased out of me changes me for the better. I feel good about myself, very empowered, plus friction was averted, it’s a total win-win situation. 

This is sanctification, the Spirit inspired goodness that I receive and give to the other who ‘wronged’ me. It is a love that is inclusive, that allows me to forgive the other and seek for ways to mend the breach, real or imagined. 

It is alive and full of creativity, it shows me the many ways I can act in love and turn any situation around. I won’t always succeed, and it could take a while, but I should never give up in trying to live out this love of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit which already resides within me. I just need to let it out more and more. And when I do, I resemble my Creator most, in image and likeness. 

May the Father, Son and Spirit be with you today. 

Becoming discerning disciples

This is the year of discernment for all of us who are part of the Glory of God International Covenant Community (GOGICC), which the ICPE Mission falls under. We are encouraged to do the consciousness examen* (an excellent method of discernment) every day so that we become sensitive to God’s promptings in our hearts and therefore know the Father’s heart.

Last Saturday, this message was reinforced at the General Assembly of the GOGICC via Zoom and it was inspiring to not only hear the testimonies of a couple and one sister from Malta and Korea respectively, but to see what the leaders had to say about discernment.

First of all, we were all reminded that following Christ was not easy for it required the ability to discern His will, and to have the enduring strength to go where He leads. Be prepared to be misunderstood by the rest of the world, even scorned and attacked. Nevertheless, hold fast to Christ and the process of knowing His will which will lead us to seek carefully the highest good, to detect grace in all things, and to ultimately respond to God in freedom. 

When we consciously and regularly contemplate Jesus in our day, this soon becomes our way of being, of doing, and of knowing. We consequently act in freedom and in love regardless of where we find ourselves in life for our enhanced self-knowledge and awareness enables us to see unvarnished and perhaps unwelcome truths and respond to them with great spiritual maturity. 

It is as if we can come out of ourselves, our flawed identities which are amalgams of our personalities, prejudices, fears and past experiences, and we are able to be the better person in the situation always, the best Jesus wannabe ever, even when we are seething with anger, frustration or hurt within. 

Don’t worry if you get it wrong, you will, invariably. The focus is not on making perfect decisions but on growing an intimate relationship with God. As the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 27 puts it: The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself. 

Just as He draws us to Himself all the time, we need to lean into Him constantly in harmonious synchronicity. And when we do, we won’t veer too far off the narrow path. We will, as Saint Ignatius puts it: I want and I choose what better leads me to God’s deepening life in me.  

As we become more attuned to the truth that God can be found in everyone, every place and everything, then we will become more thankful and reverent, more devoted to God, more deeply in love with our Creator. 

We will thus be at peace with the world, even if it is at war with us for we can always identify movements in our hearts that lead us to love God, serve and honour Him more and more. Be still, and listen.

*  For a quick take on the consciousness examen, go to https://kahalableu.blogspot.com/2009/03/

Exuding Christ’s authority

Yesterday during a retreat run by the Office For Catechesis for catechists in the Singapore archdiocese, one of the speakers, Edwyn de Souza, spoke about authority, what was it about the authority of Jesus that even demons feared and respected. The Greek word for authority is exousia which means something that flows from your very own being. This authority, this power flows when “your insides matched your outsides”.

Jesus embodied this authority for His was a life lived in and with integrity. Through the example of His life, we see how Jesus lived and breathed the good news of salvation, how He taught hope, how His healings brought new life, and how His unconditional love converted the hearts of even the most hardened of sinners. His every word and action radiated light, brought clarity, unity, and glorified the Father who only wants us, His children, to be one with Him in joy and love. 

If we are truly His disciples, then we must do the same. We need to teach the world how to love as He did by exercising this authority of Jesus and allowing His truths to flow out from our very beings. Sound good but it is not as easy as it sounds, I agree. 

Unlike Jesus we don’t have the privilege of being fully divine as He was. And yet, we can make choices that lead us down the road towards sainthood. The wounds of Jesus were caused by our sins, wounds He took on willingly to redeem our sins. If we meditate on His wounds, and if we are open to receiving the Holy Spirit (through prayer), then we are a step closer to integration each day. 

Edwyn also encouraged all present online to be open to intentional authentic conversations with authentic people we have allowed in our lives to journey with us. So find those people in your life and let them touch your wounds, trusting them to speak truths into your life with love, and reciprocating in kind. 

Truth may not be comfortable or sit well at times, but it’s not about feeling good and feeling safe all the time. Instead, it is about spiritual adventure, going places and creating change, much like the actions of the disciples we read about in the Acts of the Apostles that display the fervour and attendant miracles of exousia.

Seek integrity, seek the love of Christ which is all about cracking open one’s life and giving it away with abandonment. Along the way you will find authority and the ability to move hearts and minds just by being you.

Creating beauty

 I had a revelation last evening during my cell group meeting. We were doing the examen of consciousness and we took three questions on board for 15 minutes: What was I grateful for today and yesterday, what I was not grateful for and what is God speaking into my future? 

I was grateful for where I have been placed, the mission fields of family, knowing I am exactly I should be. There were so many signs of affirmation that flooded my consciousness last night that I was immensely thankful for the thing I was not so grateful for is the impact on my health. I have difficulty getting sufficient rest, my energy levels are low, I look haggard and old, not to mention the physical aches and pains that remind me of the unfair demands I have placed on my body, and I yearn simply for a night of good rest, and to wake up refreshed and bright eyed. 

At the same time I acknowledge that all this, the physical challenges are part of the whole package. D once said that in order to experience the thrill of riding the waves, one has to be out in the water paddling on a surfboard 90 per cent of the time. What came to me was that 90 per cent of paddling was gruelling work that had to impact the body somehow , and not always in a positive manner. 

So what did my future hold? God wants me to work at creating beauty in the world. The beauty of the created world has always spoken to me of God. I find Him especially in gardens where trees not only give shade but bear fruit; where flowers of every hue bloom and delicious scents are given off. Gardening is hard work as I have found out these last few weekends where I have been trying to work on my neglected garden. Some of my plants have needed to be relocated to thrive, while others needed fertilizing to be encouraged to flower. Essentially more constant TLC is needed as well as post-gardening self care.

Apart from working on my physical garden in creating beauty which gives me joy a great satisfaction, and refreshes my spirit, the beauty I am to bring to the world is bigger than my neighbourhood and involves my gift of writing. It is no coincidence that I just watched episode one of YWAM’s Fragrance of Faith* documentary series which shares the stories of people who have stepped out in faith and obedience, and did whatever they felt the Lord tell them to do, despite the hardships.  Do watch it for it is truly awe  inspiring. It was also, for me, a huge confirmation of what I discovered, or should I say, rediscovered, last night. 

The call to create beauty in this world is not just mine, but one for every believer of Christ. How I do it will be a little different from how you do it, but nevertheless it is something we each will do if we believe in Him and in so doing, we will spread this fragrance of faith to the ends of the earth, if I may so humbly borrow the title of YWAM’s series. 

* https://ywam.org/news/fragrance-of-faith-documentary-series-on-ywam/

Celebrating Divine Mercy

Great in mercy, rich in mercy

This is God’s mercy, Divine Mercy

Let us celebrate this feast

With a meal fit for the King

Our hearts filled with gratitude

Brimming with joy and smiles 

I am alive today purely because of Him

My spirit sings, my soul finds peace

My whole being resounds in His love

Without Him I would be alone

I would wither and fade away

With Him I prosper and bear fruit

Remember His mercy, beg for it

Then bottle it up in your heart

A precious elixir of life, for life.

Thursday of the Easter Octave

 In today’s Gospel, Luke recounts how the disciples meet Jesus again and they are dumbfounded due to the great joy they feel when they realise it is the resurrected Lord standing in their midst. 

I actually relate to them for I received two bits of news today that allow me to see the Risen Lord standing in our midst. Three weeks ago, A, one of my fellow instructors passed out at the studio and needed to be rushed to the hospital to have an emergency delivery. Today we were told she and the baby have been discharged from the hospital. Her situation was quite grim so it is indeed fantastic news. 

The other piece of news was from the Blessed Sacrament Church RCIA coordinator, S, who shared that all those who have been journeying for the year towards baptism will be baptized this coming Sunday. This will be the second time I will be a sponsor for an adult becoming a Catholic and I am so thrilled about it. I look forward to celebrating this Sunday which fittingly is Divine Mercy Sunday with much rejoicing. 

And I am reminded of the beautiful promise found in  the book of Lamentations which we just completed, chapter 3:22-23: 

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end; 

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

Remembering Just

So caught up with Holy Week I actually forgot the day
You left us all five years ago, but you have been on my mind
I dreamt of you just last week while Momo did this week
We miss you dearly, we miss those Sunday chats after mass  
I still remember that last breakfast, that last goodbye 
The good news is we will meet again sooner rather than later.

Easter Monday reflections

It feels a little strange not to pen a daily reflection seeing as I have done it for the last 48 days. P didn’t think I could do it, neither did I actually, but it was a desire to honour the trust of S who had challenged me to do it. It was also my Lenten gift to the Father, and to myself, really - to prove to myself that I could do it. I have missed blogging on a regular basis so this Lenten project was my restart button.

Yesterday afternoon S shared about desire, how this Lenten season gave him insight into his decisions in life, whether his decisions was truly desires placed in his heart by God, or were they influenced by his own intellect, others’ opinions or his past experiences. He also shared about Saint Therese of Lisieux how she had impossible desires that actually came to fruition with a creative twist of the Divine. I found this powerful statement taken online from her autobiography: “God would never inspire me with desires which cannot be realized; so in spite of my littleness, I can hope to be a saint.”

I am reminded of Matthew 19:26, With God, all things are possible, and I am slightly awed that God has helped me bring this small desire of mine to life. I hope He is pleased with my offering. I am, for it has given me a deeper intimacy with His Word, a greater sensitivity to how to live it out in my life and a crystalline awareness  of my own shortcomings and sinfulness, with a boost to my self-confidence witnessing through my writing.

I look forward to this season of renewal, of living in the joy of the resurrected Christ. I am going to enjoy the next 50 days of Easter. May you enjoy them, too. Happy Easter! 

Easter Sunday

Christ indeed from death is risen, our new life obtaining. Have mercy, victor King, ever reigning Amen. Alleluia.  Sequence

May the blessings, the joy of Easter be yours forever and a day.  

He is risen! Alleluia! 

Praises be to God on high.

Yet early to the tomb she went* 

Found it empty and panicked

Coming back the men stumbled in

Found the rolled up burial cloths

Believing the body was gone

Not understanding the Word

What resurrection from death meant 

Three days to eternity

Grief blinds us often to the Truth

As does pride and other sins

Receive the promise of new life

Forgiveness of sins through His name**

Believe in eternal life

Salvation is ours, rejoice

Dance for joy, sing alleluia! 

* John 20:1-9

** Acts 10:43

Holy Saturday

...We were indeed buried with him through baptism into death, so that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might live in newness of life.  Romans 6:3-4

The Easter Vigil held on Holy Saturday celebrates the turning point of death into the resurrection of new life of Jesus Christ, and all His followers. It was traditionally a night where those who desired baptism would be baptized for as Saint Paul points out in his letter to the Romans it is through baptism that we are joined to Jesus in a special way that allows us to share in His resurrected life.  As those of us who are baptized renew our baptismal vows, let us celebrate this unity with Jesus with joy.

The spiritual grace of baptism cannot be underestimated for it holds the potential for every baptized Christian to die to sin and to live for God in Jesus Christ. Our original sin has been washed away and we have become new creations, temples of the Holy Spirit. What glorious good news! We should celebrate the liberation of Easter in our lives by living cheerfully and exuberantly, out from the shadows of sin. 

Our hearts should sing out the story of God’s salvific love every day for eternal happiness is within our grasp. In fact, we are fortunate enough to experience slices of heaven here on earth if we orientate our hearts and minds to Jesus and strive to live out our baptismal office of priest, prophet and king to the fullest extent. 

As we wait in the darkness, let us lift our eyes to the heavens. Come, let us adore Him, let us praise and glorify Him, let us bear witness to His awesomeness and might in our lives, and let us serve Him with great love.

Good Friday

 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has similarly been tested in every way, yet without sin.  Hebrews 4:15

Not only did Jesus come to redeem us thereby opening the door to eternal life, but He also came to teach us by His example how we should act as beloved children of God. Despite the trials and tribulations of life, there is a way of grace, a way to meet adversity and loss that earns us the merit of being without sin. 

We must be confident that God, our Father, is always on our side and we can approach the throne of grace to receive His mercy and timely assistance. Jesus in His humanity always received assistance when He most needed it , whether it was during His 40 days in the arid wilderness, or during His Passion, most notably in the garden of Gethsemane. 

Other times, He was led by His heart that was so closely linked to His Father’s He never put a foot wrong. Like a true son He relied completely on His Father, acknowledging His Father’s authority in all matters. He shows us it is possible to be like Him in every way. 

This Friday is good because this is the day all humanity gained access to the kingdom of God and eternal life. Let us treasure this gift well and show our gratitude by following in His footsteps as closely as we can. 

Thank you, Lord, for suffering on the cross, for dying for our sins, for choosing to love us, to love me, who did nothing to merit the sacrifice of your life. Give me the grace to be worthy of your love in any way I can, that is within my capacity, all the days of my life.