Love me differently

J asked me on our drive to school, “Grandma, is it you scold me because you don’t love me?” ‘If I didn’t love you I wouldn’t scold you but I promise I will be more gentle in future” was my response after I had explained at length why I “scolded” him for his own good (he had refused to take his meds for a runny nose), and I also explained how love can be demonstrated in many ways, and he just needed to be able to pick them out. 

I finished our conversation by hugging him and telling him I loved him bigger than the ocean or the sky. His check-in photo tells me he got it. His question really caught me off guard and gave me insight as to how I needed to proceed in the future, with more words of affirmation and gentleness.. 

Love is tricky, how we show love to others, and in how we receive and feel loved in return. This is made worse when we grow up, for as adults, we tend to hide our ever demanding and finicky needs, while children are more forthright and have much simpler needs. 

 

On my drive home after that drop off, it hit me that my husband had just given me a huge ILY the evening before. He had skipped an evening lecture to take me out to dinner instead. While I had enjoyed our evening together, I did not fully recognize his sensitive support until the morning after. I am going through quite a challenging time now, and this was his TLC towards me. This wow moment made me realize how easily I could have missed this precious insight, and that this is how he loves me, quietly, yet so powerfully.

I am humbled and now filled with new resolve to recognize and acknowledge all the different ways love comes to me, through others, instead of rebuffing what I deem as insufficient, imperfect or unwanted. To simply say: thank you with sincere gratitude, thank you for thinking of me, thank you for making the effort to show love to me, thank you for being the you who loves me.

Last, but not least, thank you, Lord, for loving me through those around me. May I respond as happily as J did to me.